Into Dust (PG-13)

[redwinter101]

Title: Into Dust
Author: redwinter101
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Moonlight or any of its characters
Note: This is not a darkfic - by my definition - but it IS sad, so only read on if you're prepared to be depressed.

Grace, don't read this. I'm breaking a promise.

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--- Into Dust ---

The music wraps around me, carries me and I let myself drift, feel your fingers closing, holding. Your touch opened my soul. You crept in and held me; we were together, inseparable, connected. I can still feel you, my body responds even though I know you're gone. Everything I am now, is you. My spirit, my body, bone and blood, is you. My hopes and fears, are you. My past, present and future, are you. My life, my death, us.

I can sense you. Not just in me, but in this place, our home. Every angle a view of you, a snapshot, a turn, a flash of smile, a golden gleam as you move. In every room, every corner, I can surround myself with you. Climbing to the bedroom, for the first time today the tears come, falling freely. The most private of all our places, here, we showed ourselves to each other and you taught me how to love.

A minor chord, redolent with melancholy; this was our melody played out across time and space, a constant reminder there is no joy so great as one that seemed impossible. We both knew it, felt it, pushed it away, accepted it. We were never meant to be. But we were. And now, alone, I finally understand the meaning of a lifetime.

Acceptance was long-fought and hard-won, you would live and die and I would go on. Childish dreams of everlasting life had no place here. To the world we remained as we had always been; you, the woman who took my heart, living, ageing, and I, the man who would always have the face of youth, my ancient fears hidden from all but you. But we changed every day, growing old in each other's arms, confounding ourselves, finding peace and joy, our own version of happily ever after, a lifetime of love.

It's time to say goodbye to this place. I will not return. I must leave Josef too, my only regret. The note is cowardly but I can't face him. I can't face another goodbye. He won't understand, but he'll forgive.

The drive is almost a dream, the cool, evening hush of a city taking pause between day and night. Sweet, sharp memory pulls me to you as I draw nearer, nearer, every moment we shared captured, revered, precious beyond measure. I will tell you again tonight of my love and loss and joy and sorrow and I will hear your whispers of comfort.

The cemetery is locked and bare and we are alone, together. The earth cannot divide us, a physical barrier no more meaningful than death itself. This is home now, because you are here and I feel the last cares slip away. Through the tranquility of night I sit with you. I have shed my tears, expended my grief; I am finished.

I am here, my life, my love, forever.

I must break my promise to you, made on so many days over so many years. I can go on without you, but I will not. I choose not. If God is merciful, I will touch you again. If not, this is how it must be. My lifetime is complete and I have reached my end. Forgive me.

In the quiet glade I lie down. I can see you through the trees, but I will not be disturbed. Clear-eyed, content, expectant, I feel you holding me. It's time, my love. As the first rays dapple the ground I can enjoy the warmth at last.

[tucutecats]

Wow I don't know what to say, breathtaking.

[Luxe de Luxe]

this is simply beautiful, Red. The melancholy you evoke in this is like the mournful cry of a sea-bird. You've inspired me to go all poetical! I think after the lifetime he's lived, as portrayed so succinctly by you, that his choice is understandable. He just simply cannot go on without her.

A minor chord, redolent with melancholy; this was our melody played out across time and space, a constant reminder there is no joy so great as one that seemed impossible. We both knew it, felt it, pushed it away, accepted it. We were never meant to be. But we were. And now, alone, I finally understand the meaning of a lifetime.

Such a beautiful paragraph! It's sadness is almost crushing. Congratulations. This is a beautiful, beautiful piece, Red.

[seamus3333]

Oh, Red. This is the only way their story could end. He was tired for fifty five years and found happiness and joy. Losing his joy, he chose the path to follow her. This is the Mick we love and you capture him perfectly.

[nutmegger911]

How sad, and yet peaceful. Beautifully written.

[redwinter101]

tucutecats, "breathtaking" is more than enough! And very kind. Thank you.

Luxe, thanks so much - I really appreciate it. And get poetical whenever you like, sweetie.

seamus, bless you, dear. I see this as one ending I can believe in but I also see so many other possibilities (another reason to love ML).

nm911, that's lovely - thank you. Peaceful is what I was hoping for.

Red

[wpgrace]

I did not read this... I am assuming you killed Mick ... fingers in ears... eyes closed... lalalalalalalalalalalalala!
But tho I did not read it... I am SURE it is lovely as everything you write is lovely and amazing... now back to lalalalalalalalalalalalalala....

[starbucksjunkie]

Not sad. Not really.

Sad is hopes never realized, a life cut short. A love denied.

This is none of those things. This is an immortal, a very special one, honoring his great love as only he could.

Someone who, once relieved of the burden of suffering, refuses to take it up again.

This, for me, is a happy ending.

I must break my promise to you, made on so many days over so many years. I can go on without you, but I will not. I choose not. If God is merciful, I will touch you again. If not, this is how it must be. My lifetime is complete and I have reached my end. Forgive me.

My favorite paragraph. He is loving but honest, reverent and accepting.

Fabulous, red. Lyrical.

[CarolBee]

This flowed like music, lyrical, tugging at my heartstrings. You made me feel the emptiness, the longing, and the resolve to go through with his decision. Beautiful. Thank you.

Carol

[janicevictoria]

Red, I'm beyond speech....That was so sad, beautiful and profound.
One of your best, to be sure

[rijane]

The thing about these two is that there really is no happy ending. Even if she's turned, eventually the bad will come, one will die. Not even vampires live forever. So this is sweetly sad and very fitting with the melancholy that is the end of their story. I don't see Mick going on without Beth. Like the elderly wives and husbands who follow their spouse into death, Mick is not going to linger long in this life without Beth.

For all the romantic lyrical nature of the writing itself, this is a fairly simple response and I love it for that combination.

The cemetery is locked and bare and we are alone, together. The earth cannot divide us, a physical barrier no more meaningful than death itself. This is home now, because you are here and I feel the last cares slip away. Through the tranquility of night I sit with you. I have shed my tears, expended my grief; I am finished.

I am here, my life, my love, forever.

Sigh. That is heart-breakingly lovely.

[Cassandra2]

In a prior life, Red, I was perMa'at. Seamus told me I needed to read this and she was right.

Please accept my heartfelt congratulations for a beautifully crafted coda that is perfectly on pitch and lovingly faithful to the wonderful thing that brought us all together in the first place, so long ago.

Just splendid. Thank you.

[redwinter101]

for Grace. Wise choice, sweetie.

sbj, thank you, my friend. This, is such a wonderful description:

Someone who, once relieved of the burden of suffering, refuses to take it up again.

Perfect.

Carol, thank you. You're very kind - and I'm delighted you enjoyed this.

jv, as always, you are a complete treasure. *mwah*

ri, simple is as simple does - that's me!!! Heart-breakingly lovely is SO how I feel about Mick and Beth.

Cassandra2, thank you so much for coming to read and for your kind words. My sincere thanks to seamus for the recommendation - there is no higher praise.

Red

[Albra]

What I felt reading this story ?
Sadness... enormous, everhelming sadness... uncontrolled tears (even during second and third reading...) and calmness ... without any obiections or disagreement ...

There is a huge amount of love, loneliness, determination and accaptance ...

I am finished.
...
I can go on without you, but I will not. I choose not.
...
My lifetime is complete and I have reached my end.

If you want (and I want) to believe that their love is true, special and everlasting, you have to be prepared for, to accept, ending like this...
Regardless who first pass away, the other one will want to follow ...

I just couldn't imaginate that one of them would be able to move on after partner's death ...

Red,
thank you for another portion of "good cry"

[redwinter101]

Oh, Albra, honey, you make me want to get on a plane to Poland just so I can give you a hug.

Thank you so much.

I agree about the sadness (this is definitely the saddest thing I've written) but also I'm so glad you felt the calm acceptance. I think there is an inevitability here - as you say, one could not go on without the other.



Red