Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

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Tam
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Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by Tam »

Rating : PG13
Spoilers : none
Summary : rather dark twist on 'Spring Cleaning'. This is my very first entry for a champagne challenge!
First posted : right here, right now

Disclaimer : The characters are not mine, no money is being made and no infringement is intended.
Spring Cleaning
I stopped breathing as I entered her room. I could not bear it. Her perfume covered everything, clung to her things - things I had bought for her- like a tainted veil. Her gloves. The cigarette lighters. The books: Volume upon volume, unfinished, a train ticket or a scrap of paper between the pages; long forgotten markers of good resolutions. She had never been very patient. Neither was I - I thought it was charming.

So much had accumulated over time- just how much did women need to mark a place as their territory? It had to go. All of it. I wanted my room back, and I was determined to erase her from my life. She no longer mattered to me, so why should I care? I don't, I told myself, picking up a scarf. What could the dead mean to the dead? I tossed the scarf in with the rest. Maybe one of the other girls would like it, but seeing it on them would only make me lose my appetite.

Besides, it would seem sentimental, wouldn't it?

I checked my watch. They would have found her by now. Punctual as ever, Mick entered.

"I found Ke- what are you doing?" he said, breaking off his sentence as he looked at the box of my freshie's last worldly possessions.
"Spring cleaning," I replied.
He swallowed hard, and I could tell he was battling with himself. "You already know she's dead, don't you?" he finally asked. Disappointment unmasked. I nodded.
"Did you know she was...?" he couldn't continue.

"Why did you do it?" he asked after a while.
I turned to face him. "She swore to me I was the father."
Last edited by Tam on Sun Mar 07, 2010 8:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Champagne Challenge : Spring Cleaning (PG13 impl. violence)

Post by nutmegger911 »

Wow! I never saw that coming. Well done, Tam! Brava! :clapping:
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Re: Champagne Challenge : Spring Cleaning (PG13 impl. violence)

Post by darkstarrising »

Wow, Tam!! Dark indeed, but a wonderful twist to the theme...nicely done.
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Re: Champagne Challenge : Spring Cleaning (PG13 impl. violence)

Post by francis »

OMG, this is good, but very dark. So Josef killed her? Because she was pregnant and he refused to believe it was his child? What if it was? What if it was a lie that vampires couldn't procreate?
But of course, he would know, right? Like he knew all about the cure...
This is great because it evokes a lot of thought and emotion.
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Re: Champagne Challenge : Spring Cleaning (PG13 impl. violence)

Post by Tam »

francis wrote: What if it was? What if it was a lie that vampires couldn't procreate?
I was going with the version that vampires cannot procreate- therefore he would have had 'living' proof of her infidelity, and her lie to cover it up. (At this point I should probably add that the character's opinion on this does not reflect that of the author- it shouldn't have been a reason to be killed...then again, what was this freshie thinking??)
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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by Albra »

Well done ! :clapping:
Thank you, Tam
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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by Luxe de Luxe »

ooh a short, chilly shot of darkness. always good to see Josef's vampire side.
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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by NightAir »

Dark and frightening, but I can see Josef like this. He doesn't tolerate betrayal. Mick's difficulty handling this rings true. He knows and accepts this side of Josef, but it doesn't mean he likes it.
I, on the other hand, like your foray into the dark. :flowers:
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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by Tam »

NightAir wrote:I, on the other hand, like your foray into the dark.
Ta :) The best time to come out and play is at night, in the dark...!
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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by cassysj »

Very dark. I can see Josef not tolerating betrayal. Very interesting
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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by jen »

Absolutely chilling, Tam!

Very well written.

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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by allegrita »

Tam, this is wonderfully chilling. And how appropriate, somehow, that Josef would want to do this cleaning himself. He wants to eradicate all evidence of her. She's a big mistake in his eyes... a misjudgment, and Josef's not tolerant of misjudgments, in himself or in others.

Yeah--what the heck was she thinking of?! Not that she deserved what she got, but I can definitely see Josef doing exactly that... and Mick reacting just this way.

Great story!
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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by Moonlighter »

Dang, Tam! Seriously? *shivers* Josef is vampire: Exhibit 1, Your Honor.
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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by Tam »

:curtesy: "Josef probably kills every day."
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Re: Champagne Challenge#113: Spring Cleaning (PG13)

Post by coco »

Excellent read, Tam. Dark indeed. :clapping:
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