Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

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francis
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Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by francis »

This was a challenge to write first person POV. I chose Josef. He is a bit whiny here, but he assured me it was okay to tell you about his thoughts. :D

Disclaimer: I don’t own this, but make no money from it.



Why, brother?
Why do you ask this of me?
Don’t you understand what this means to me?
You don’t.

You didn’t understand what it would mean to me when you became human again.
You didn’t understand what it cost me to lie about the cure. Because I knew about it.
And I denied it, denied you, because I didn’t want to lose you.
And while you were out playing human with your Beth, I was alone.
No office. No friend. No Sarah. And the still open wound of having to explain her to you.

I couldn’t even thank you properly for saving my life. Twice. Not even counting the blood in your fridge that helped me recover after the explosion. I couldn’t thank you, because you were angry with me. And you were right. I was careless. Almost like a human.

Don’t you understand how catching your humanity is?
That being around you for almost 50 years makes me want?
That the hardest thing about being 400 years old is to find excuses to live on?
That now that you are my friend I have all the excuses I need?
That I want to live because you are so utterly unpredictable and incongruent, moral, violent, passionate, guilt-ridden, caring, heartless, cruel and softspoken.
You are the mirror I need to get a grip,
the friend who sometimes pretends to need my advice just to make me feel valuable,
the reason I started to be interested in human life again.
You ground me. You floor me. You earthen me.

And all this makes it impossible to deny you what you want.
You wanted to be human, and I couldn’t begrudge you when you got it.
You now want to be vampire again, for her, and I cannot deny you.

If only…
If only you would want to be a vampire just a little bit because of me.
It would mean so much for me if you just acknowledged that you knew what you mean to me.
I am not jealous of Beth, at least not in any romantic way.
But I am jealous of your friendship with her.
Because you never would make such a sacrifice for me.
And you don’t take me into your life like you used to do before her.

I startle, suddenly aware of how spiteful my feelings become.
All this is going through my head while I drain you, and I should pay more attention.
This is your life in my hands.

I said „Forgive me“, but I didn’t say for what.
Now that your blood flows into me, I realize.
You know.
You understand.
And you care for me.
It’s in the tear that flows across your face when I lay you down on your table.
I feed you my blood, and try to convey what you mean to me.
You lick your lips, you feed, you get up, you smile a fangy smile at me.

I am at peace.






xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The very talented diane31 made my story into a slideshow and added screencaps that make the story into something even better! Check it out here in this blog:
http://moonlight-illustrated-fanfics.bl ... ancis.html

You can also download it as a PPT-file here:
http://www.4shared.com/file/152459813/b ... nload.html
Last edited by francis on Sun Nov 15, 2009 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Fleur de Lisa
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by Fleur de Lisa »

This is both heartbreaking and healing at the same time.

Really lovely exploration of Josef's thoughts and feelings.
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by francis »

Fleur, thank you so much for revisiting these old pieces. :rose:
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by Fleur de Lisa »

francis wrote:Fleur, thank you so much for revisiting these old pieces. :rose:
I have been taking time to re-read a lot of my fave authors, and it's your turn for me to camp out in your office!

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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by mitzie »

I know I've read this one before, but I don't think I ever commented on it! This is a real stunning piece. All the thoughts and feelings running through Josef's head are so real. Then he realizes that Mick does care about him and he is at peace. I loved this story!!!! Excellent job!!!! :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :clapping: :yahoo: :yahoo: :cloud9: :heart: :notworthy: :worship: :rose:

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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by bluedahlia3 »

Very poignant. Josef has a POV that needed to be told and you caught the mood and feeling nicely. :clapping: :clapping: :clapping:
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by darkstarrising »

francis,

I've read this before but it's too beautiful not to comment on again....the view into Josef's psyche is wonderful....even to the point where he realizes he's self-absorbed when he should be paying attention..

but this got to me...
I said „Forgive me“, but I didn’t say for what.
Now that your blood flows into me, I realize.
You know.
You understand.
And you care for me.
Truly beautiful. thank you for sharing. :hearts:
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by one.zebra »

Guys are traditionally bad at communicating love and feelings, it's said...but this way says it all...it's in the blood...Josef knows, and now Mick does too...
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by francis »

Thank you, mitzie. I'm glad you enjoyed this again.
Thank you, bluedahlia3. I'm glad you liked my take on Josef. He is a bit needy here, but tries to hide it.
Thank you, darkstarrising. Thank you for quoting the part you liked best.
Thank you, onezebra. Yes, it's in the blood. They don't have to talk about it.
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by jen »

Absolutely lovely, Francis!

Josef's carefully practiced facade slips here, harkening back to when he told Mick in a rare moment of vulnerability in SB, 'I get lonely man, you know that'

Nicely done!

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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by allegrita »

Thanks, jen, for bringing so many wonderful stories up to the top again. This one caught my eye--I don't know how I missed it before!

Here's the part that struck me the most:
Don’t you understand how catching your humanity is?
That being around you for almost 50 years makes me want?
That the hardest thing about being 400 years old is to find excuses to live on?
That now that you are my friend I have all the excuses I need?
That I want to live because you are so utterly unpredictable and incongruent, moral, violent, passionate, guilt-ridden, caring, heartless, cruel and softspoken.
You are the mirror I need to get a grip,
the friend who sometimes pretends to need my advice just to make me feel valuable,
the reason I started to be interested in human life again.
You ground me. You floor me. You earthen me.
First of all, that is a wonderful one-line description of Mick Lovely! Second--I hadn't really thought about Mick's yearning for humanity being something that grounds Josef, but now that you mention it, it hits me like this: :slaphead: and I go, "Of course!!!"

Thank you for sharing your vision of what Josef is thinking as he re-turns Mick, francis. I really enjoyed it and best of all, it made me think. :hug:
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by francis »

Thank you, jen and allegrita.
I'm tickled that people discover this old piece again. I'm rather proud of it. :flirt:
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by francis »

Hi, dear readers.

The very talented diane31 made my story into a slideshow and added screencaps that make the story into something even better! Check it out here in this blog:
http://moonlight-illustrated-fanfics.bl ... ancis.html

You can also download it as a PPT-file here:
http://www.4shared.com/file/152459813/b ... nload.html

I'm in awe of her talent!
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by nutmegger911 »

Diane31, what a lovely portrayal of Francis' story. Brava! :rose:

Francis, you capture their friendship so beautifully here. So much of their relationship is unspoken, unwritten, yet ever present.
francis wrote:You ground me. You floor me. You earthen me.
:thud:
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Re: Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV

Post by Phoenix »

I just watched the "illustrated" version.

Francis, the story was beautiful and sad. Diane31, you did an amazing job with the pics.

Compliments to both of you. :flowers: :flowers:
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