Pandora's Box (G) - Challenge #116

[GuardianAngel]

Here is my answer to the 'Between the Fire and the Fountain' challenge. It was the first thought that came to mind and quickly written. I hope that you don't have any trouble following it.

My thanks to Pgal for giving it a read. She has long since become my other half and I don't know what I'd do without her.



Pandora's Box


"Now you know why it could never work."

"All I know is, ever since I've met you, I've stopped using the word never."


His vision was blurry. Shaky hands lifted, and using the heel of his hands, rubbed the offensive moisture away. Must be from the sun. That would explain the tears but not the shaking or the hollowness that burned through his chest.

I shouldn't have left her out on the balcony. I had to. Everything I can't have, everything I want is out there, right before my eyes but beyond my grasp. It's too much.

Reaching the gray door, he shouldered it opened and then yanked it closed behind him. Relieved to be alone, the world shut out, he leaned against the cold metal and sank to the floor.

It was that face. That sweet, trusting face. My eyes closed and I was transported back twenty-two years. I'd traced the missing girl to my wife and to the building where we went the night of our wedding. The place where she'd betrayed me by stripping me of choice and life.

In a tortured flash, he saw her once again burning, screaming as he strode from the room with an armful of angelic innocence. He'd just killed his wife. His sire. A brutal fight followed by flames. All of it witnessed by the little blond girl. She was huddled in a corner, frightened.

Yet.....yet when I held out my hand she took it. And she'd had that same look on her face. Such trust. Such suffocating trust.

The vampire looked up and banged his head against the door. He didn't understand how she hadn't been terrified of him. Then. Or now.


After a silent ride home, with the stoic little girl sitting shot-gun, he'd delivered her into her mother's arms. She'd finally cried, her tiny hands hugging her mom's neck. Feeling the voyeur, Mick tried to back out but his eyes were riveted to the small blond wisps that bounced against shaking shoulders.

She's safe. It's done. Job over.

Then why wouldn't his feet move? Why had it felt like he was leaving some vital part of himself behind if he left? So he'd smiled at the woman and, noting how reluctant she was to relinquish the small body clinging to her, he'd offered to make her some tea, carry the girl to her room, tell her everything would be fine. Anything but leave.

They sat in the kitchen over cups of coffee until, finally, little Beth disengaged herself to fetch a small pink teacup; throwing quick, shy glances the vampire's way. She climbed up on the chair next to his and gifted him with a plastic cookie and a tentative smile.

His chest had felt as if it were caught in a vice. The same suffocating vice he'd felt out there on the balcony. He was as creature that scrounged and hid in the darkness but for the moment he basked in the warmth and glow of the beautiful child. He wished he could keep the feeling but it was as impossible as pocketing the sun.

Tears over and coffee finished, Mrs. Turner escorted him out. Just as he nodded to her and turned to leave there was a tug at the bottom of his jacket. He squatted, bringing his face level with hers, expecting that she wanted to tell him something and Mick prayed she wouldn't say anything about what she'd seen. Never, in a million years, had he expected those soft blue eyes to look into his with such adoration before she moved forward, placing those little rosebud lips upon his cheek.



Mick's hands fisted and dug into thighs already taut with tension as he thought of the kiss Beth had just given him. It had been déjà vu, churning the same sense of useless yearnings.

I never should have gone to that fountain. Never should have revealed myself.



He'd known, from the worship in those young blue eyes, that she'd formed a connection to him. Mick also knew that he could only disappoint her. But, God, how he wanted to live up to image she'd painted of him.

He'd left that house with his head spinning. He'd emerged from that night transformed. Coraline was dead. He no longer had to wonder where she would pop up or what wild thing she would surprise him with. She'd finally stepped over a line he wouldn't, couldn't cross with her, and Mick couldn't deny that there was a sense of relief that he was free. Still, there was a deep throb of pain for what could have been. There was also bubble of something he didn't dare to name. Hope? Purpose? Mick didn't look at it closely enough to know.

The need for solace in a glass of good scotch and an ear, should he feel inclined to unload, Mick headed for the home of his new best friend.

He'd told Josef what had happened. About Coraline. About the girl. And hadn't he been overjoyed. The scotch helped but the scowl he received from the older vampire did not. Mick cut his story short and decided not to pull out the tangled weave of emotions for Josef's scrutiny. He left it buried, figuring he'd sort it out by himself later.

The wealthy host did, however, try to help by offering his exhausted friend a bevy of pretty veins. The orchestra of hearts should have had his fangs dropping but all Mick could feel was a tingle on his cheek where Beth had kissed him. It was like with the brush of her lips she'd wiped his slate clean and he couldn't bear to defile her gift by giving into the monster.

Mick had waved away the women, deciding that he'd find another way to sustain himself - one that didn't require the unleashing of the vampire. It hadn't taken him long. A few inquiries and some connection made and he'd found alternatives to feeding fresh.

Life went on. His P.I. business flourished. And every few weeks he'd find himself once again being drawn towards the center of his universe. Like a planet orbiting the sun, Mick was incapable of ignoring her attraction. Year after year he assured her safety and reminded himself that even as a vampire he did something good. Something worthwhile. He never got too close, careful to stay in the shadows.

Until the day at the fountain. Mick wasn't sure if it was seeing Beth on the screen or knowing that she was so close to danger, but he couldn't help himself. He'd had to go. Between the fire and the fountain he'd managed to suppress the desire to step forward. At first it was to protect the child and then, later, it was to protect himself.


Still on the floor, Mick frowned and tilted his head as he heard Beth talking with Audrey. They were leaving. Beth's voice was low and hoarse. Her sadness bit at him but he couldn't let this go on any more. Just as he'd feared, he'd stepped into her world and his Beth, his sweet, accepting Beth was once again looking at him with stars in her eyes.

By stepping out of the shadows Mick had pulled the lid off Pandora's Box. The problem was not that he couldn't close it. It was that he didn't want to.

[francis]

How much do I love this story? Wonderful, wonderful writing, so close to what I loved in the show: the voiceover, the angst, the tentative relationship of Mick and Beth, the tangled web of Mick and Coraline. I love that you included the term "between the fire and the fountain".

The end of the 8th episode was the middle. We didn't know that yet, but it was the centre. It explained what Mick and Beth felt, and made them able to go on. In the next one Coraline would be killed again, symbolically, by Beth this time. You really show us where Mick was coming from up to then.

The last line is genius!

Spoiler:

It was like with the brush of her lips she'd wiped his slate clean and he couldn't bear to defile her gift by giving into the monster.

And this, this is poetry. This explains everything.

[darkstarrising]

I shouldn't have left her out on the balcony. I had to. Everything I can't have, everything I want is out there, right before my eyes but beyond my grasp. It's too much.

In these four sentences, you provide the essence of Mick's life. He's torn between accepting the life of loneliness he now has and hoping for a life with happiness and love, something that he thought lost to him forever.

The flashback to the past when he rescues the child Beth, makes it all the harder for him. Beth for him is the personification of innocence and he fears that her connection to him formed so many years ago, may be her future undoing. You've shown us Mick at a pivot point in his life. His brain says one thing, but his heart says another.

If only he'd follow his heart.

Beautiful, GA

[lorig]

That was wonderful! Just beautiful

[redwinter101]

I'm catching up on some challenge fics... with apologies for my tardiness. This is so lovely, honey. I love the way you wove the theme into the setting at the end of 12:04, when Mick looked so broken, and this whole story aches with his desolation.

Is there anything worse than losing all hope? Not for Mick.

Beautiful.

Red

[allegrita]

Wow--I don't know how I missed this before, but I'm so grateful to Red for popping it back up. This is wonderful, GA. I love the way you used the theme. One of the things I like here is that Mick still doesn't see Beth accurately. Part of the reason he's so hopeless here is that he still sees the four-year-old girl when he looks at Beth. Trusting. Innocent. He feels unworthy of her because he really sees her as some sort of angel brought to life, and he can't possibly live up to that in his own eyes. (Of course, if he'd been paying attention during B.C., he'd realize that there's a big dose of vixen mixed in, but I guess we can forgive him for being a little self-deluded.)

Francis is right that 12:04AM is a sort of center point of the entire series. In that episode, Beth finally figured Mick out. She was finally able to put past and present together, and although it was a hard piece of truth to swallow, she was OK with the knowledge. But for Mick, it was like stripping away the scars he'd built up around his pain. I'm happy to get this view of Mick right after the balcony scene. It fits so well, and it makes me want to hug Mick (and then yell at him).

[jen]

The events have been committed to memory, like a dried flower pressed between the pages of the book. Ah, we love them so. Here you have expounded on the scene at the end of 12:04 and given us a wonderful, wonderful glimpse of Mick's mind then and now.

Lovely, and that last line sums it all up

By stepping out of the shadows Mick had pulled the lid off Pandora's Box. The problem was not that he couldn't close it. It was that he didn't want to.

Thanks

Jenna

[jen]

[Moonlighter]

Oh GA -- another lovely one! This is literally the center of Mick and Beth's story and as Beth comes to terms with what she's learned, Mick is turning away. But his truth comes out in your last lines:

By stepping out of the shadows Mick had pulled the lid off Pandora's Box. The problem was not that he couldn't close it. It was that he didn't want to.

And luckily for him -- and for us -- the story ended with him getting what he was so scared was out of his reach.

[coco]

Oh, this is just lovely, GA. The scene on the balcony is heartbreaking and Mick looked so lost and broken and you have captured all those thoughts and emotions beautifully.

[jen]

How lovely this is!

Mick has discovered something we all know well.

He is certainly no monster.

Thank you

Jenna

[Moonlighter]

Another great fic I'm happy to see pop up. Still as good as the first couple times I read it!

[jen]

GA

Just lovely. Again.

And in that moment, an enormous shift occurred. One that would rewrite the course of Mick St. John's future. He began to recapture something he thought he had lost, but it was always only his own perception.

Thank you.

[Luxe de Luxe]

fantastic, GA. I'm with dsr... this line just got me in...I

shouldn't have left her out on the balcony. I had to. Everything I can't have, everything I want is out there, right before my eyes but beyond my grasp. It's too much.

[cassysj]

What a beautiful story. I'm revisiting old challenged