First Sight (PG, Champagne Challenge #159)

[allegrita]

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The plot is the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's note: This story was written for Champagne Challenge #159 and is rated PG.


First Sight

He stood out. Even in that atrocious shirt, he shone like a diamond on a dungheap. I’m not sure exactly what it was about him; he was handsome, but so are a million other men. No, there was something compelling about him — the way he held himself, the tilt of his head, the expression on that handsome face. There was a touch of arrogance in the curl of his lip, but his eyes held a depth of experience I’ve rarely seen in a mortal, especially one so young.

He looked… dangerous.

And I was in the mood to play with fire.

[MickLifeCrisis]

Oh, wonderful! And Coraline, with her sights on her prize, starts laying plans to get him. Little did she know that one day Mick would be the one to play with fire.

Great job, Alle!

[Lilly]

Ohmygosh! This is fabulous!

Alle, you set the scene perfectly with your first 5 sentences, lit a fuse with the sixth, and then -- bang -- sent the sparks flying with the last. Such great impact with so few lines. Really, really nice!

[francis]

I love this. The shirt was atrocious but she knew interesting when she saw it.

[darkstarrising]

Lovely, alle I can see Coraline mentally sizing Mick up, countering the negatives with the positives. In the end, sparkler in hand, she decides to play with a greater fire. Little did she know what playing with fire would get her.

[jen]

Alle, this is lovely!

Certainly, Coraline was attracted by Mick's looks, but there was much more to it than that, even in those first few moments.

Those last two fabulously explosive lines describe the tone of what comes next and brilliantly foreshadow the end of their marriage.

Thank you!

Jenna

[diane31]

Oh yes this so well describes Coraline's state of mind... and with these oh so chilling last lines you really bring home what I tend to forget when thinking about it: it's not just for Mick that it is a dark meeting with destiny!

[allegrita]

Thanks very much, everyone! I had so much fun making the story fit into the strict requirements of the challenge. Sometimes, whittling an idea down into its essence makes the end result really potent. All of the Challenge entries have felt this way to me. I hope lots of people contribute to it--it's a great writing exercise!

[cassysj]

Ohhh this so Coraline. What spark did she see there that led her down a very dangerous path.

[librarian_7]

Nicely done!

This challenge is...challenging.

[allegrita]

Thanks Carol and Lucky! It is challenging, isn't it?? But lots of fun, and it feels so great to finish a story.

[LaughtersMelody]

I loved this!

I've always thought that was one of the things Coraline liked about Mick. He has a dangerous edge to him, even if it's usually buried in his kindness. But it's definitely there. I wonder if that was one of the things that horrified Mick when he became a vampire...suddenly that side of him was unleashed. Coraline thought it was wonderful, but Mick...

Fantastic work!

-Laughter

[allegrita]

Thanks, Laughter! Yes, I agree with you--I think Coraline was attracted to a side of Mick that was definitely there, but that he didn't like much about himself. And when she turned him, that aspect of his personality became the dominant one. It must have horrified him. And yet she wasn't wrong--what she saw was real. But it was only a part of what made him special. And she never understood why he didn't embrace it.

Sometimes I wonder, if Coraline had met Mick before the war, before his experience of all that death and suffering, and the loss of his best friends... I wonder if he would have taken to vampirism more readily...?