Let It Go (Challenge #163, Song Stories) - PG-13

[allegrita]

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rating: PG-13

Author's note: This story was inspired by Champagne Challenge #163, Moonlight Song Stories, and specifically by "Let it Go," by Fauxliage. (Song lyrics here.) It's in the form of two drabbles, one from Mick's POV and one from Beth's. The quote is from Fever, written by Jill Blotevogel.

Maybe it was her blood in my veins that let me feel her. The beating of her very living heart. Or maybe, we've always been connected. Either way, being near me puts her in danger. So it has to stop.

Let It Go

Just avoid her calls for a few weeks, don’t answer the door. She’ll give up after a while.

Yeah, right. No, she’ll never let it go, it’s not in her nature. So I have to do it.

Why did I tell Leni to call her?! I should have let myself die in that tub. Ah, who am I kidding? I’d have drained Leni if Beth hadn’t come. And I’d have her and the baby on my conscience, too.

Oh god, I can feel her. It’s like her warmth is soaking right through the door. Go away, Beth. Please, go away.

-----

I know you’re standing right there, on the other side of the door. I can feel you. Let me in. I need to understand what’s happening to me. What’s happened to us.

I can’t sleep. I can’t look Josh in the face without feeling like a fraud. He’s been so great about everything, but I cringe every time he touches me there. It’s like… he’s trespassing. Why?

I wonder if you feel this connection the way I do. I wish you’d stop putting up walls between us, Mick. I saved you… I gave you my blood! Don’t you even care?

[MickLifeCrisis]

These are wonderful, Alle!

And you nailed it here:

I cringe every time he touches me there. It’s like… he’s trespassing.

You can see that in Beth's face when Josh kisses her bandaged wrist.

Nice job!

[MoonMarg]

Poor Mick - that last sentence - he is begging her to go away because he knows he doesn't have the willpower to stay away himself.

[Lilly]

Oh my gosh -- this gave me chills! The most wonderful, wonderful chills.

Alle, this is pitch perfect -- for both characters. I can hear their voices and see their faces so clearly. They are connected -- they can feel one another -- but they're not quite on the same wavelength yet. They are so caught up with their own questions, doubts, fears that they're not seeing the other clearly. But the pull is undeniable. I love that you've captured that in so few words.

I would not have thought of this scene for this song, but it really fits.

[HotMicks]

Don't be shocked, fanfic writers, but I am home-bound the next few days due to minor surgery and have decided to start reading some fic... beginning with the most recent challenges.

So Alle, as board boss... okay, as the first story in the "Active Topics" list , you get the honor.
Wow, what a way to start! My favorite couple, my favorite vamp and my favorite board admin - what a combo! I love this song, too. And what a way to use it in your fic!

Poor Beth... getting this vamp to open up ain't gonna be easy. This nearly broke my heart:

I gave you my blood! Don’t you even care?

Mick, well, we're used to his self-torture, but I like his thoughts that you lay out here, as he realizes Beth will need an "active assist" to stay away from him. If he thinks this is hard, wait 'til she confronts him in the morgue.

, Alle. Excellent start to my fanfic foray!

[allegrita]

Thank you so much, MickLifeCrisis, MoonMarg, Lilly, and HotMicks! I loved the symbolism of those two clinging to the door that separated them. It says so much about them, and their tangled relationship. The lines in the song that really hit me were:

Every night I drive away from you
I see the mountains I have yet to move

They do have "mountains" of issues separating them. But their connection is so strong, it endures even through the obstacles. Lilly, I love what you said about them not being on the same wavelength yet. They really were talking/thinking at cross purposes all the time, especially in those early episodes.

HotMicks, I hope you have a very quick recovery--and thank you so much for your wonderful comment!

[Lilly]

Lilly, I love what you said about them not being on the same wavelength yet. They really were talking/thinking at cross purposes all the time, especially in those early episodes.

Absolutely. Before the idea of romance could ever enter the equation, they first had to come to terms with the undeniable -- unbreakable -- connection they had.

[PNWgal]

These two...their growing connection was shown so perfectly in this scene. Separated physically by the small width of the door, emotionally by a chasm Mick wasn't willing and Beth didn't know how to breach.

But Beth giving Mick her blood...that connection, that deeper than feelings, that VISCERAL bond...you've captured that with so few words here, babe...just so lovely.

[darkstarrising]

Absolutely lovely, alle

The connection was formed years before, but with Beth saving Mick with her blood, the bond has grown stronger.

No, she’ll never let it go, it’s not in her nature. So I have to do it.

Letting go wasn't Mick's strong point, either, else why keep an eye on her all those years? Then, he was hidden in the shadows, but now Beth knows about him. Retreating back into the shadows isn't an option. So what is he to do?

Let me in. I need to understand what’s happening to me. What’s happened to us.

It took me a few reads to see just how much Beth feels about their connection. Her reaction to Josh, her need to be with Mick has changed the friendship they have. But how has it changed? Does he feel as she does? How hurt she must have been when that door stayed closed.

[allegrita]

Thanks so much, PNWgal and darkstarrising! I'm so glad you felt these drabbles did them justice. Pgal, I loved this description:

Separated physically by the small width of the door, emotionally by a chasm Mick wasn't willing and Beth didn't know how to breach.

That's it, exactly.
And DSR, this:

How hurt she must have been when that door stayed closed.

That's what I see on her face whenever I watch that scene. She looks as if she's in utter despair. She doesn't know what's going on, she can't figure out the connection she has with Mick, and she's absolutely uncomfortable with Josh now, to boot. She looks lost, and sad, and so lonely.

[librarian_7]

I think...this is a favorite scene for many of us (wait, what isn't a favorite scene?). It so neatly catches how close they are becoming, but with a very real barrier between them. And yet, that impenetrable wall isn't a wall at all. It's a door, and no matter how tightly Mick might think it's shut, he's already opened it more than he realizes. And Beth, as Mick observed, is a little pushy. She's not going to let him shut her out for long.

You've really caught the moment here, Alle. Beth's insistence that her life-saving gift is important will be spoken more forcefully to him, but you know she had to have been saying it to herself before she calls him on it in AD.

[allegrita]

Ooh, Lucky, what a wonderful way to describe it! You're right, that barrier is a door. And doors can be opened. So much of what separates them can be overcome, with effort. You're right--Beth is pushy (in a good way), but Mick is very averse to opening up. She's got her work cut out for her... but I have faith in her.