My Bloody Valentine (Josef, PG-13)

[francis]

Brilliant, red. I looked up the valentine massacre when nutmegger posted her story, and now you took the same theme and made something totally different with it. The writing is gripping because we know how it will end and not. There are lots of twists in it. Betrayal, power, the need to show wealth, seems that Frankie took some of Al Capone's character traits with him when he created Josef Kostan decades later. So well done.

[redwinter101]

Thanks, francis.

This felt like a nice change of pace for me - it was fun to write .

Red

[Catmoon]

Great peek at Josef's past! Too bad he underestimated Capone. Perhaps he was just a little too cocky and sure of himself and his ability to use these humans? You even used the dog in there, nice touch. You write history, even "recent" history, very well.

[redwinter101]

Thanks, Cat

Delighted you enjoyed it.

Red

[Fleur de Lisa]

I will be back later, when my brain is less fuzzy and I have more time, to read.

Can't wait to see what loveliness your brain has conjured up this time!

[Fleur de Lisa]

Sweet Home Chicago.

The historical fic queen has struck again!

This was awesome--not 80's lingo, more like struck with awe.

My British pal writing as if she is a true Chicawgo gal--you can do it all. Captivating from the first visually amazing sentence to the surprise at the end.

The beautifully detailed descriptions--from furnishings, clothing, the manicured nails--you are a virtual scene/set decorator. With words.

Little things that I noticed and appreciated:

They thought they'd all be home for supper.

Because in Chicago--it is never dinner, it's always supper! And the names, all of which sound like those who reside in the south side today.

...heads back to the shopping site to purchase additional jewels for the tiara...

[redwinter101]

Well if it gets the seal of approval from a Chicagoan, I'm very happy indeed.

But I can't take credit for the names. Apart from Babyface Frankie Ryan, all the other names are real.

*adjusts slightly crooked tiara and pours another martini*

Red

[Fleur de Lisa]

Really? Now I am embarrassed--had no idea that those were names of real thugs.
...slinking away to catch up on Chicago mob history, because the Brit knows more about it than me...

[redwinter101]

Really? Now I am embarrassed--had no idea that those were names of real thugs.
...slinking away to catch up on Chicago mob history, because the Brit knows more about it than me...

Lisa, honey, don't be embarrassed - I just did a little research, that's all .

Do you honestly think I'd write a fic about a real event without doing some checking first? Oh ye of little faith. Thankfully, I can research from the comfort of my living room .

Red

[RangerCM]

Loved this! Perfect one shot to start my day.

[redwinter101]

Thanks, RangerCM. Delighted to start your day with a bang.....

Red

[coco]

Oh this was fabulous Red.

Josef and Al Capone.

What a brilliant Bloody Valentine *thumbs up*

[redwinter101]

Thanks, coco .

Well I figured Josef did like to name-drop so why not slip one more famous name into his past?

Red

[allegrita]

Red, the story is great--and the comments add to the fun (as usual). Babyface, huh? A perfect gangster moniker for Josef.

I'm always so struck by the vividness of your descriptions. You capture Capone so perfectly here:

But Frankie noticed the vein twitching above the rim of his collar; his wasn't a neck made for a shirt and tie, no matter how immaculately tailored. The manicure, the jewellery, the elegant sliver of silk poking from his top pocket all signified a man who took care of himself; to Frankie they also showed a man raised in poverty, in dirt and fight and blood, desperate to present a veneer of class and success, success worthy of respect and admiration.

Frankie is disgusted by Capone and doesn't understand how he lives his life in such a hubbub...but I guess Josef "got" Capone a little better as time went by. The first sentence, slightly rewritten, could so easily describe Josef's office environment in the present day:

Acolytes, servants and hookers whirled around him, a hum of purpose, their mission to please, their fear of his displeasure filling Frankie's senses. He wondered how anyone could stand to be so surrounded.

...and who is more surrounded these days than Josef? What happened--was it all because of Sarah?

I love this look at a moment of transition in Josef's life. Knowing what Josef's future holds makes this little vignette even more compelling.

[redwinter101]

Thanks, alle.

Josef the loner becomes Josef the lonely in quite a short period of time; I think it was a lot to do with Sarah but also I think it has to do with meeting Mick, allowing friendship into his life and realising a lot of what he had been missing out on.

Capone was only thirty years old in 1929. That shocked me when I was researching. Thirty - with so much blood already on his hands.

Red