One Happy Family - PG-13 (Champagne Challenge #104)

[Fleur de Lisa]

Pgal~~~ Wonderful job as always, sweetie.

You captured Coraline perfectly--this is how I see her--unabashedly consumed with herself and therefore Mick---desperate to get her claws back in him, and not caring how she achieves it. This is a perfect look at her---and how I have seen her. Only concerned about what she gets out of any situation. Sorry for the harshness, but I don't feel one bit sad for her! She reaped what she sowed and yet she still doesn't get it.

I adored the opening exchanges between Beth and her mom---natural and true---and loved the parallel between that and how Cora thinks a relationship should be. I also loved how you had Cora attempting to get a child for Mick before she kidnapped Beth. That is something I have never seen addressed before and it makes perfect sense!! I also loved the idea of her making sure to get a little girl that looked nothing like herself. You would think that would give Cora a clue!

she lit up the air around her with the innocent power of her life's energy.

Loved this line so much---because it is exactly what Cora is counting on. And the very thing that Mick desperately misses.

Really thought this was amazing. in a way, it made me so angry--can you tell? But, that is the effect Cora frequently has on me!

[Luxe de Luxe]

PNWgal, your vision of the motivation's behind Coraline's actions rings absolutely true. I loved the small subtleties in your work (the sweeping up in his arms line grace pointed out was it? was an absolute killer - ouch for poor Coraline) I also was nodding in awe as you handled each of the challenge items so seamlessly. You ate this up for breakfast girl! Well done.

[GuardianAngel]

Pgal, you already know how much I love this. You had me smiling at the depiction of a young Beth and her doting mother. So very sweet.

Coraline wants a picture perfect family. (Hey, don't we all) Unfortunately, it just doesn't exist. Not for anyone. Especially not for her. I love how she blames the little boy for not being what he should have been - a quiet, perfect child. I certainly wasn't HER fault. I love how she's annoyed with his parents for whining about losing their child - they can have another. Her logic is so twisted, so warped. She thinks poorly of Penni as a mother because she lets Beth get wet, get dirty. She's going to kidnap the little girl and traumatize her but SHE'LL be the better mother.

Still, I feel for her. Maybe because I know how much she wants this to work and how futile her efforts will be.

[cassysj]

You used the clues flawlessly. This really shows the desperation of a woman who doesn't want to lose the man she loves. I can absolutely see Coraline losing patience with the boy and dealing with him like that.

Dark and powerful

[darkstarrising]

Sigh....this hits the mark in so many ways

Beth grinned up at her mother, grubby fingers locked tight around the handle of the plastic watering can she was using. The bright green can was almost as large as the little girl, and the front of her pink denim short-alls was soaking wet from her efforts to be helpful.

I can see the little girl, holding on to watering can with all her might, so pleased with herself that she is helping mama!

the contrasts between the real and would-be mothers is stark. First Penni:

Penni's eyes misted as she thought of how much Dan would have enjoyed watching his daughter revel in everything she discovered in her little world. Daniel Turner had passed away the winter before, three days after New Year's Day. Beth was too young to understand why her Daddy didn't come home anymore, and Penni had swallowed her own grief in order to make her little girl's life as happy and as normal as possible. She blinked the sudden tears away and smiled at her blonde daughter.

Penni lives for her daughter, her daughter is her life now. She doesn't scold the child over the little things that kids do (watering themselves and not the plants), but she does react realistically when she sees Beth talking to a strange woman.

"In the house. Right now." Her voice was clipped and rough from fear. "Mama told you not to talk to strangers and you disobeyed. No more outside today and no dinosaurs."

Coraline, on the other hand, sees the child as a means to an end, to get Mick back. Yet Coraline appreciates Beth's fiesty and inquisitive nature and wonders at Penni's need to punish the little girl for being inquisitive.

I hate to admit this, but this line really got my attention (as in why didn't I see this before?)

Something instinctive warned Coraline to find a girl that resembled her as little as possible. It would do no good to have Mick reject the child outright because she looked too much like Coraline - or worse, have Mick transfer too much of his affection from her to the child.

I can see Coraline calculating each and every possible outcome in her efforts to get Mick back, but that line said it all.

PNWGal 1, Challenge 0

[Fleur de Lisa]

I need to get a clue about the clues...can someone please explain what that is??? Was the challenge to provide clues or something?

Lisa is confused, once again.

One thing that never confuses me is my Pgal's talent.

[darkstarrising]

No, dear Fleur....the challenge was to write a short fic with three elements: ice cream, a watering can and a museum. Any of the ML characters could be used.

[Fleur de Lisa]

No, dear Fleur....the challenge was to write a short fic with three elements: ice cream, a watering can and a museum. Any of the ML characters could be used.

Thank you, dsr. I was hoping it wasn't Scarlet in the drawing room with a stake!!

Wow, then Pgal did even better than I thought!! Here I thought she just wrote a kick a*s fic, now I am even more impressed!

[mitzie]

You really hit the nail on the head with this story!! You show me Coraline's warped thinking process and the fact that she is so far removed from humanity. This is an excellent depiction of Coraline, Beth and her mother!! You wove in the challenge words very seamlessly. You are a wonderful writer!!!! I loved this story...

mitzie

[PNWgal]

*winks at Grace* Love your perspective, honey...you are so spot on.

luna, thank you for giving this a read. I never really had much interest in Coraline either - I mostly ignored her because she was the "bad guy", so writing her was a challenge in itself.

Thank you, coco - I agree that desperate people do desperate things. Coraline wanted Mick back and would do what it took to accomplish that.

Lisa, anything I write that illicits a strong reaction I consider work well done. My sympathy for Coraline only goes so far - SO glad you liked this. I think Coraline was counting on Mick being drawn to Beth's being a vibrant, living being and that would be what brought him back to her. (And...a thousand apologies for not getting back to you on the challenge thing - thanks DSR for addressing that! )

Luxe...thank you! I'm sure the fantasy Cora had of Mick holding Beth in his arms and the reality she was handed were two totally different things.

GA, you KNOW this probably wouldn't have gotten done without you. I liked the perspective that Coraline blames all her unfortunate circumstances on everyone but herself. She wants it all, but when it doesn't work out, it's everyone else's fault.

cassy, thanks! Coraline may be a lot of things, but first and foremost she's a vampire. I can completely see her disposing of an irritant simply by killing it.

DSR, when my son was not quite two, he got out of the house and wandered away. When I found him standing on the neighbor's porch in his stocking feet, my first impulse was to paddle him for scaring the crap out of me. That's how I saw Penni's reaction to Beth talking to a stranger.

I figure Cora's going to look at all the angles in her effort to get Mick back. A child that looks too much like her would remind Mick of a Coraline that's full of life, not the vampire who stole his life away, so a child that looks as little like her as possible would be the best option.

mitzie, thank you so much! I think that Cora has NO idea what being a good mother entails - a child is simply a means to an end.

[starbucksjunkie]

You keep on surprising me, Pgal.

This is chilling. Just chilling. I knew you could do affecting. Now you add this to your repertoire.

My fave:

A loving smile crossed her face as she pictured Mick sweeping his new daughter into his arms.

Mick was going to be a wonderful father.

Prophetic, but not for the reasons she thought. Prophetic, and chilling.

Lovely, honey.

[PNWgal]

*bows*

Thank you, SBJ - high praise indeed, from an author I admire.

[Fleur de Lisa]

Thanks again for this fic and allowing me to despise Cora once again!

And, thanks for you!!

[PNWgal]

Awwww, Lisa...tis my pleasure!

[SparklyBird]

Thanks I really enjoyed that.

I am not a great fan of Coraline but here you actually made me feel sorry for her (well almost). Loved little Beth too.