A Year-Long Love Letter (PG-13) - complete 7/5

[Lupine]

Wonderful letters - they are strong enough to stand alone as a reveal into Mick's character even if there had been no "Afterglow". I love how brutally honest Mick is in these letters. Like another said they are almost like journal entries more than letters. In letters, where you actually expect someone else to read them, it can be tempting to varnish or soften the truth, especially the truth about strong emotionally charged feelings, both to protect the one reading the letter and yourself - the writer. That's not happening with these letters, perhaps because he never expected that Beth would actually read them. Whatever the reason they are exquisite, and a real testament both to your skill as a writer and your understanding of Mick.

[redwinter101]

coco, lorig, thank you.

sbj, trust me, there will be anger and grief. Day one is an exercise in controlled acceptance. Yeah. Who's he kidding...?

alle, they won't all be so , I promise.

Grace, MLC, there might be an occasional need for a tissue. Just sayin'.

mitzie, seamus, thank you both.

Lisa, poor Mr. Fleur...

GA, in my mind, although Mick wrote these to Beth, he wrote them for himself - for his sanity, so the journal theme is definitely a factor.

Grace, lorig, y'all made me

Lupine, thank you. I agree totally that Mick was writing for himself as well as Beth - and was really not sure if she would ever read the letters.

Red

[Moonlighter]

Having read everything you've posted (several times), I'm God blessing Moonlighter for conning you into writing more!

Hey, hey now -- "conning" is so harsh! How about "gently encouraged"?

I want someone to write me letters like that.

Mr. Fleur will be wondering why I am glaring at him.............

Fleur, you are beyond hilarious!

I'm so glad you are posting these, Red. Obviously, we are all voracious readers here, but to see the inner feelings of Mick, Beth and Josef put to paper is so much more revealing than just reading their story. Once these letters are in the hands of the recipient, there is no taking them back. It's their heart laid out for each of them to take in and handle as they choose. I am almost giddy at imagining what we will be treated to.

Thanks a million for doing it! ML Red

[redwinter101]

And Red ML right back.

Thanks for the (very) gentle encouragement.

Red

[jen]

So beautiful.

[redwinter101]

Thanks, jen.

Here are the next two letters, both taking place after chapter 6.

Red

[redwinter101]

Day three



Beth, my wife,

I still can't believe I've just written that. My wife. I can't stop thinking about the last few days we spent together. We tried to cram in so much, to fill a few hours with moments that should have lasted forever. But I don't regret it, not for a single second. We could have wasted that time, with anger, with denial, with trying to change what, for now, is inevitable.

But we didn't.

Your beautiful words fill my dreams, and I imagine your body, your voice, your laugh every moment. You keep the fear at bay, something I know I need to do if I'm going to be true to my promise to you. And I want that more than anything - to make you proud, to be the man you left when you come back. I know that you will be strong. I know it. Because you have a warrior's heart.

I love you,

M

[redwinter101]

Day seven



B,

A week has passed. A whole week.

Just a week - it feels like a tiny milestone, something larger than a day to check off the calendar. But time plays cruel tricks. It feels like you've been gone forever, but I still feel like you're here, close. I had half a conversation with you this evening (nothing important - just some story on the news and a reporter who you despise, screwing up) before I remembered. It feels fresh and raw every time I think about you. I hate that thinking of you causes me pain when you are the joy in my life. I hate that they have done this to us.

For the first time today I felt a hot, vicious surge of anger. Anger at the world. Anger at myself for not being able to stop any of this happening. Anger at a group of people who don't know us but get to decide our fate. They think they have the right - because I am less than human, beneath them - and beneath you. They're wrong. They don't have the right. No-one has that right.

We're meant to be - and we will be together again soon. I trust. I have faith. I have hope.

But the day you can come back to me seems so very far away.

M

[coco]

Day three



Beth, my wife,

I still can't believe I've just written that. My wife. I can't stop thinking about the last few days we spent together. We tried to cram in so much, to fill a few hours with moments that should have lasted forever. But I don't regret it, not for a single second. We could have wasted that time, with anger, with denial, with trying to change what, for now, is inevitable.

But we didn't.

Your beautiful words fill my dreams, and I imagine your body, your voice, your laugh every moment. You keep the fear at bay, something I know I need to do if I'm going to be true to my promise to you. And I want that more than anything - to make you proud, to be the man you left when you come back. I know that you will be strong. I know it. Because you have a warrior's heart.

I love you,

M

Red I absolutely adore this letter.

This letter sums up everything I see in this couple. This is the way I imagine them feeling about each other. Having that trust in each other and this being what they want for each other. This is what Beth brings to Mick that I feel was missing for so long for him. She makes him feel complete and this letter is Mick telling her just that. He wants so much to be the man she left behind and I love that he writes that in his letter to her.

The Day 7 letter is equally as emotional. Mick's anger is showing through in this letter. He can't understand what has happened and why he couldn't stop them taking Beth from him.

We're meant to be - and we will be together again soon. I trust. I have faith. I have hope.

These letters are such a coping mechanism for Mick - he writes this down in order to tell himself these things. To stay strong and have faith that they will be together again.

I also love the M & B in the letter - so familiar.

Beautiful letters Red.

[MickLifeCrisis]

So happy to see more of these, Red!

I loved Day Three - No regrets. And wanting to be as strong for Beth as he believes she will be for him. Good for Mick.

Day Seven... I think this is my favorite line:

I hate that thinking of you causes me pain when you are the joy in my life.

And I see some anger coming through now. But some anger is a good thing. He'll need a little to keep him going, so he doesn't give up. But he needs to also find the balance. Too much anger will only create more problems.

Well done!

[wpgrace]

Ok, already crying. I do not cry. But already crying. He thinks because he's LESS than human "they" consider him beneath her (tho to a certain extent "they" are afraid of the vamp's superiority but he WOULD translate it to deficiency)... and he's actually pushing back on that. He's thinking he has the right to deserve her. Oh Mick!!!!!!!!! So sad, but he thinks he might have the right to be happy. How amazing. I'm so happy he thinks that... and he's just miserable. That's tears for me.... sigh. And boo hoo. Dammit Red... I teared up already. I'm not gonna do well here, am I????

Tho Dick Cheney just showed up on my tv and now I'm nauseous.

WHY IS DICK FRIKKIN CHENEY ON MY TV AND ALEX IS NOT?????????? AND MICK IS NOT????????? Ef'd up, my sisters... And Red's already got me crying.... It's gonna be a long week....

[redwinter101]

coco, thank you, sweetie. I agree about the letters as a coping mechanism - and for me, an attempt to extend the theme of Mick's VOs. They showed us his internal conversations - and I'm trying to set them down on paper here.

She makes him feel complete and this letter is Mick telling her just that.

Absolutely.

MLC, shock is giving way to anger. In so many ways Mick is grieving - and he will find some balance along the way.

Grace, I made you cry? Or rather, Mick made you cry - now that makes sense. Poor, sweet, sad, brave Mick. But then you made me chortle.

WHY IS DICK FRIKKIN CHENEY ON MY TV AND ALEX IS NOT?????????? AND MICK IS NOT????????? Ef'd up, my sisters...

Abso-frikkin'-lutely. The world is a strange and odd place at times.

Red

[mitzie]

Wonderful letters Red!! I loved Mick telling Beth she has a warrior's heart!!!! The Day 7 letter just broke my heart, some of Mick's anger now surfacing, so bereft without Beth!!!! Stay strong Mick!!!! It is such a gift to be reading these letters, I love them...

mitzie

[allegrita]

Oh-- good heavens, Red, you're going to be the death of me. I'll die crying, but fulfilled.

Everything coco said about day 3 with one small addition. He says to Beth, "You have a warrior's heart." For all his courage and strength, for all his skill and experience in fighting, I don't think Mick is really a warrior. He tends to wait that split second too long in the hope that his adversary can be redeemed--and that's why he gets beat up so much. It's one of the things I love most about him... and what makes this situation so unbearable for him. There's no redemption possible for this adversary. They are heartless and pitiless, and Mick knows it. But he is being strong for her, and taking strength from his knowledge of her strength. Isn't that an amazing description of love--not just being willing to give your all for the one you love, but to trust in their strength to sustain you?

Day 7... the reaction is setting in. He's beginning to rage against the colossal, indifferent unfairness of it all. And how ironic--he'd finally begun to believe he was worthy of happiness, just before happiness was snatched out of his grasp. What torture, to have this arrogant, faceless power deciding his fate! Mick is fighting a dread that the universe really is against him, but he holds his hope, faith, and trust like a torch to light his way. There will be times when it's a small light in a very dark place, but he has to believe in it, because if it goes out he'll be lost.

[wpgrace]

Everything coco said about day 3 with one small addition. He says to Beth, "You have a warrior's heart." For all his courage and strength, for all his skill and experience in fighting, I don't think Mick is really a warrior. He tends to wait that split second too long in the hope that his adversary can be redeemed--and that's why he gets beat up so much. It's one of the things I love most about him... and what makes this situation so unbearable for him. There's no redemption possible for this adversary. They are heartless and pitiless, and Mick knows it. But he is being strong for her, and taking strength from his knowledge of her strength. Isn't that an amazing description of love--not just being willing to give your all for the one you love, but to trust in their strength to sustain you?

Oh Alle! How clever! You are so right... he DOES wait that split second, hoping for a turn of heart... and he DOES get beat up... tho he then goes on to win... what incredible insight tho... thanks for sharing that...