So I finally got home after a long day and settled in for the reply I so wish I'd had time to leave yesterday.
There are so many things to adore about this but the first thing I wanted to mention was your title. It suits this piece so incredibly well. The imagery that one word creates that is then so beautifully backed up by the words. It is definitely a piece that hums...... sings.
What a way to open. A few perfectly chosen words that are so sensual and intimate and all together perfect in setting the scene for the story.
His lips pressed to the small of her back, the briefest intimacy his greatest gift, the freedom to touch her. As he crept lower, his hum thrummed through them, a lick, a stroke, a taste, filled with the crackle of life.
I again adore that we get this image of Mick mapping Beth's body. Feeling her, memorising her, taking pleasure from her, the momentum of them building. I love how you do that.
He continued his journey, tracking across Beth's body, feeling her energy, stronger here, between them, than he had ever thought possible.
This is just so incredibly poignant.
Another vivid memory surged, the first time he'd held a solid-body Gibson. The intensity of the rich, warm vibration, every note felt rather than heard, flowing through him, almost powerful enough to displace the lingering drone of battle and the memory of Lilah's lost embrace.
This sentence just speaks to me. In volumes. It has always been amazing to me how music can bring you back and give you a sense of purpose when everything else around you just isn't working.
In music he'd found a way to reconnect, to remember his wonder and awe at life's possibility.
This sentence makes me sad. For all the things he wanted to have with Coraline, he never really got the one thing he wanted. Such a shame.
Coraline, her own force of nature, and he was swept away in her. The promise of a future bursting with life suddenly rendered inert, earth where all around was live.
Kudos to
Grace for an awesome, awesome line and a perfect description of these two lovers.
There was always spark between them, a dark crackle, restless, impatient energy but it was the pulse of death, their bright, brittle light serving only to cast deeper shadow. They generated heat but no warmth, his dark existence pushing him further from the brink of life.
I'm such a fan of the way you make the images come alive in my head. I always feel like I am right there in the moment, watching when I kind of feel like I shouldn't be.
Such a vivid image of Mick here. I can sense the hum.
Countless nights of wandering, feeling the hum of life at one remove, sequestered behind walls of brick and skin. He could touch but not feel, his dead, jealous core railing against the uncaring normality of the rest of the world.
So very sad. Religion is such a huge part of Mick and for him to feel this way is just so heartbreaking.
He'd revered God's beauty; God, fate, whatever, had turned his back on Mick St. John.
You know my big old shipper heart just loves this section.
Until Beth. Lying here, together, safe, alone, the memories of their first meeting still clutched at him. There had been others, each rescue, each saved soul adding a tiny building block of self-respect, feeding his resolve to go on.
I keep thinking I'm repeating myself because I always want to use the words beautiful or adore but beautiful is how I feel about this. I adore that Beth gave him that hope and will to go forward. Yay!
But for her he rediscovered the battered remnants of humanity; for her he trapped himself between two worlds; for her he tried to be enough.
I love this because it is so very Mick. He acknowledges what Coraline was to him. Whatever anyone thinks, he loved her and she had a place in his life and he does mourn the fact that things didn't work out differently.
With humanity had come a new imperative. Made painfully aware of his limitations, his inability to save Coraline was a constant ache, even now.
In every one of your stories I read, I look forward to the moment that makes the smile on my face grow bigger. Here it is
:
Finally he could lay down his burden because she loved him back.
As much as I love the lines you have ended the story with, it is the image this sentence creates for me that is still with me after reading:
She turned, a soft caress to his cheek, feeling his smile curve against her palm.
Such a contented, settled, happy Mick and that makes me smile.
I may never be as eloquent as some of the others when leaving feedback as I get a little lost sometimes in my excitement and I do tend to repeat myself but I just love this. Everything about it from title to the lasting images "Hum" has created.
Surprise!
with words, I love your accuracy with creating filigree structures of sentences ...
). Thank you so much for coming back and for leaving such a beautiful comment, which I adore. So feel free to use beautiful and adore as much as you like, you'll hear no complaints from me.
