Moonlightaholics

Well, gosh, folks, I'm speechless.

OK, not really. I'm almost never speechless.

I knew it tore my guts out, but I had no idea if it would translate to the reader. I'm very glad that it did--although that sounds somewhat perverse. Thank you for reading it and for your comments. And thank you very much for wishing for more. I don't know if I will be able to do more, but I'm immensely pleased and touched that you want more. That says something really deep to me. It says that I got it right. And that I've got a little more dark in me than maybe I thought I did.

wollstonecraft61, "the meat of despair" is just an amazing compliment under the circumstances--thank you.

wpgrace, I think you're right in that there's something in this story that anyone who's lost someone incredibly dear can relate to. (And yeah, that was a horrible sentence.) This is a universal story of that dumbfounded sort of shock and anguish that follows the discovery that a person one loved is not who one thought he was. And by the way, you're right about Red and the whispering.

francis, my apologies for breaking your heart--and I hope you'll forgive me for being just awestruck that I actually DID break your heart. I honestly didn't know if this was any good! I love your interpretation and I'm incredibly touched that you see this as a possibile ender to season 2. In a way, I guess it was--if you consider the Facebook thing to be season 2...

coco, I'll be here honey, whenever you have the time. And thank you so much. I know how much you love Beth. If she rings true to you, I am so happy.

librarian_7, dear Lucky, thank you for that. I don't know if I can do more. But if I do, it'll be in great part because of your encouragement.

helloeeze, I'm happy that this story rang true for you. I agree that there's no guarantee that Mick will ever come back at the end of this. It's an open end, though... so anything could happen. And despite the sad end of my own experience, I am a total Mick Beth optimist. I want, no, I need for them to have a happy ending, although that doesn't mean it's gonna be all roses. Just that they will be together and that they'll work on it together. Like a real relationship between strong-willed, independent people.

Lilly, you humble me--thank you so much. I think your description of what Beth goes through is very accurate. I hadn't thought of it as a loss of self, but yeah... it really is that. She has to build herself again now. Thank you for holding my hand through the hard days!

cassysj, thank you for coming along on the journey--and for your sweet comment. It means a lot.

darkstarrising, wow-- thank you! I hate to pass on pain, but if this made you feel what Beth was feeling, then it did its job. And I'm really happy you thought it was good.

redwinter101, I know exactly what you mean, and I completely understand your caveat. And I'm blown away that despite your initial inability to believe in the circumstances (and believe me, so was I!), you felt the truth of Beth's reaction to it. Thank you so much for that... and oh yeah, I understand that it's more than rare for you to read a story about Mick and yet not have him be the focus of the story. To me this story was completely about Beth, despite the fact that Mick imbued every sentence of it. It's Beth's pain, Beth's anger, Beth's loss and hopelessness and disbelief. And what Lilly said about loss of self--this story is about Beth finding herself again. Well, just beginning to find it, because that's a very long process. Thank you... just... thank you.

I finally have some time where I can give this story a proper comment which it so richly deserves.

I'll start off by saying that I have a facebook page - hardly use it - but I did log on every day to follow the adventures of Mick & Beth. I thought they were wonderful. Following all aspects of their lives was such a cool thing to witness on Facebook. I confess that when Mick left Beth I got completely lost and didn't understand it. Mick in my mind wouldn't have done that and I was so confused about it and the comments left by Beth in the aftermath were heartbreaking to me. This journal has been wonderful to see things from Beth's POV and you know I love her. I especially love that you've got her spot on here, Alle. Every word is the Beth I know and love and root for.

This is ALL about Beth for me. Mick is ever present but he is not the focus. You have written her pain and isolation so beautifully and I just really want to hold her and give her a hug. This line in particular is so heartbreaking.

I can’t breathe. There’s gaping hole in me. I can’t breathe.

I've had quite the emotional morning today. This line had me crying:

I feel so alone. I feel bereft.

There have only been a couple of stories that I remember where I have been angry, truly angy, at Mick and this is one of them. Beth has always been a survivor and a warrior and I have faith in her here that she will recover from this too, in time.

Alle, I thank you for writing this given how hard it must have been for you. I think it's exceptional.

Edited because I can't spell. Again.

Oh, coco I'm sorry I made you cry! But I'm also thrilled that this feels like Beth to you. Thank you for your comment and for your support of me while I was Beth. I miss her every day.

I unfriended Mick and Beth, so I don't read their walls anymore, but I hear they are trying to make a go of things now. I hope they succeed, somehow.

This is such a lovely story - and such lovely comments. More for coco and alle.

Red

This is the third time I've read this!! I can feel Beth's shock, pain and confusion as if it were my own, which has made it very difficult for me to post a response!! I did not read the Facebook project. This is a stunning story, so true to Beth. I feel like my heart has been left in little splinters. This story is a true gem. I love it even though it took the wind right out of my sails!!!!


mitzie

Oh my gosh, mitzie! Thank you so much for rereading it, and for commenting so positively despite the fact that it tore your heart into splinters. I love you for loving it despite that!

This is so lovely.

There is a universality to this--for every woman who has thought she has forever in the palm of her hand only to have it disappear like smoke. We all fell a little for Mick in the show and that makes it so much easier to identify with Beth in her pain.

I hope there is more of this!

Thank you, jen! I've been toying with some ideas... if the muses are good to me, I might do some more.

Wonderful, Alle! I hope the muses are all in good moods!

Tel the muses, Jenna sends her regards!

Jenna

Beth alone? Alone? My guts are tied allegrita. Why? And how did we get to this? Where is the rest of this story? You have made an unhappy woman out of me tonight.

Hey Alle,
Babes, I remember the event so well, I remember the shock everyone felt with and for Beth when he up and left, and how much we all wanted to support her through it. But this is the first time I've come across this...
And honey, I don't know what to say... ( for once. ) The journey you took was amazing, the way that you dealt with it on Fb was TRULY inspiring, both as Beth, and clearly here, in your own mind. While you remained with her... she was true... and it's a testament to exactly how perfect you were as her.
Just in awe.

Awww, maggatha, I'm so sorry to make you unhappy! But I'm also thrilled that this diary had the power to make you feel what Beth was feeling. (I know that makes me a little perverse... but what writer doesn't like to hear that her work has the power to pull at the heartstrings?)

I can tell you that, in Facebook land (although I didn't have anything to do with Facebook Beth after this), Mick did return to Beth, and they are evidently living happily together again. And I hope that helps.

Terri, I know you were right there when the whole experiment crashed and burned, and you were one of the people who kept me sane during the time I was getting over it all. I'm very, very glad this story speaks to you. Thank you for the amazing compliment. I felt true to Beth and I'm glad to have had the experience. Despite the pain of the end, it was worth it. And the best part was the way it allowed me to get into Beth's head.

I'd love to read more, please!

LadyAilith

I only started following the Facebook project the last couple of months before Mick left and that threw me for a loop I can't imagine how hard it was for you.

Your Beth was always real it never felt like someone playing Beth. I know the project continued but for me this is how it ended for me.

Cario Diario,
there is this woman , alle, you know her? She has tones of talent but possibly no heart and she is out to get mine.. but she is gonna have no luck , since mine is already in tiny pieces all over the floor, again...

Love you, my αλλεγκριτα