China In Your Hands (PG-13) - relocation challenge #101

[francis]

allegrita, your comment made me realize an aspect of my story I hadn't realized consciously. This is a transition for Mick, he leaves his past behind and considers the future. Thank you for finding that.

[Phoenix]

The first Champagne Challenge was well-met, Francis.

[francis]

Thank you, Phoenix.

And AussieJo, I completely overlooked your comment, sorry. Your first post on this site was for my story!!! I'm honoured!

[lila]

francis, this is excellent! I love everything, from the title (I really like how you refer to a country and to a state in the same phrase) to the ending.

Mick felt like he was suspended, never growing up, almost like Peter Pan. Thirty was a good age to be immortal, but still, he yearned for growth, the wisdom of old age. He felt like he didn’t move forward, just run in circles, emotionally.

This and...

But he always stayed the same person, Mick St. John, P.I. and gloomy loner, keeping his old files when he moved.

this is exactly how I see the vampire's curse. There's really not much room for change or growth, as humans have. And here you explain it beautifully.

„What if I changed identity, moved to, say, China, or Chicago, or France, had another job, another car, a fabricated resume?“

She shivered. „Would you take me with you?“ Her voice was wistful, longing. Almost pleading.

He choked up. She was the one he could never leave behind. And she wouldn’t want to be left.

Oh, francis, this bit made me tear up. It's perfect, and I can hear Beth and Mick having this conversation in my head, down to Beth's wistful and longing tone.

What a wonderful, lovely fic!

[francis]

Lila, thank you so much for your comment. You found all my favorite bits.
Does anybody remember T'pau and her song "China in Your Hands" in the 80s? It's what gave me the idea for the title. I should give her credit, though.

[GuardianAngel]

Delicious, francis.

We have a coulple relocation themes going on here. Mick contemplating what a relocation would mean to him at this point. And the relocation that happened without his realizing it. Lovely.

When she told Mick that Josef didn’t deem him cut out to be a vampire, her husband laughed into her face. Josef was right, of course. She meant it as a warning not to get into his face, but Mick saw it as the beginning of a possible friendship. He felt that Josef was someone he could just be himself with, someone who saw through his mask, without molding him to his fit, valuing honesty and differing opinions. Mick discovered later that Josef thought the same of him, and they established a routine of late night visits at Josef’s place that were the one thing in Mick’s life he was looking forward to at the time.

Yes, I can see it happening just this way. Good call, francis.

The Cleaner would take his remains and destroy them, scatter his ashes to the wind. He wouldn’t have a home in death.

I pretty much already knew this but, the way you put it, it really hit me. So sad. Realy sad.

Beth was his lifeline. He hadn’t really lost his soul after all.
He had relocated his soul into her.
She was his home.

Yup. The relocating that happened without his realizing it. Like I said, delicious.

[Luxe de Luxe]

there's something really moving about your story francis. there's a melancholy there, we can feel Mick's sense of dislocation, a feeling that threatens to leave him adrift in the world. your ending was perfect, it gave us hope, an antidote to the melancholy, it reaffirmed his ties to the world, to his humanity and ultimately to himself. Well done.

[francis]

Thank you, GA and Luxe, for your comments.

[Fleur de Lisa]

This is lovely. I love that of all the questions he may have about himself, Beth is the answer to them all. She does hold him together in more ways than one. Beautifully executed, francis.

[lionsonleashes]

Beautiful, Francis! Just beautiful! I loved it.

[francis]

Thank you, Fleur and lionsonleashes. I'm glad you enjoyed this.

[MoonShadow]

francis,
I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed this piece. I had another funeral to attend this week and when I went looking for something to read your story is the one that fell into my hand, thank you!

You did a beautiful job peeling back the layers and opening up the heart of what relocation would have meant for Mick. Lovely piece.

again,
thank you,

MoonShadow

[francis]

Thank you, Moonshadow. Funerals make you think, don't they? Sometimes you grieve, sometimes you just try to be there for someone grieving, but you always come to think about mortality and what's important.

[starbucksjunkie]

Lovely, and sad.

If he died tomorrow, noone would bury him, mourn him at a wake, there would be no stone with a name and date. The birth date would be wrong anyway. The Cleaner would take his remains and destroy them, scatter his ashes to the wind. He wouldn’t have a home in death.

The price of immortality. Well said, francis.

[jen]

Nicely, nicely done!

I just found this and thought I'd read one quickly, not expecting to find such a treasure. You have captured so mch in this lovely piece. Endings and beginnings.

Thank you!