Cul-de-sac (challenge #129) - PG, part 1 of 2

[redwinter101]

You got me with this one, babe. Totally.

I can't tell you how happy that makes me.

But...Josef doesn't want to lose Mick. He makes the only choice he can, and not because Beth wants Mick to live.

Josef wants it, too.

This is the crux of it all. In many ways I made the choice both easier and harder for Josef - he hasn't got Mick's assent BUT the alternative is death. Decisions, decisions.

I'm not at all sorry for the heartbreak - and I love you for it.

Red

[allegrita]

Oh, man. I had to go away and collect my thoughts before I could hope to muster a cogent comment on this.

First, thank you, dear grace, for giving Red this idea. It all makes so much sense. Josef refuses calls all the time. And Mick knows how to fight vamps, even as a human - he proved that with Lance and his cohort. Mick would have a chance against Anders and his crew. Except for the gun. (Thank you for begging her to get Josef to do it, too... 'cause we needed him to.)

And oh, Red, what a beautiful story you wrote. Beautiful, and complex, and full of all the layers that make Moonlight work so well. Hurt and blame and anger and resentment, yes. Terror and despair and a wrenching reminder of other losses, other life-or-death scenes. But most of all, love.

You started off with a bang, and a mystery. I didn't know who was hurt, and who was watching. And when I found that it was Mick, I really began to panic! I read it frantically, needing to find out what Josef would decide. Weak with relief when he made that hard choice to try to bring Mick back. I swear I didn't breathe till the last few words... and then I had to go off and compose myself, because it just doesn't do to cry at the office...

I could quote the whole story, but this part so perfectly captures the quandary Josef and Beth face, and the relationships among the three players:

"You don't know what you're asking."

"Yes, I do. And if he hates me for forever, at least he'll be alive."

"There are worse things than death."

"You don't really believe that."

A sad shake of his head, "No. But Mick does."

I loved Josef's anger in this story, and his sense of responsibility. (Who does he call first? The Cleaner, of course. Damage control is so much more than personal.) And you've so beautifully captured Josef's feelings about Beth: his anger and blame, his dismissal of her feelings for Mick as shallow hero-worship. Even though Josef knew well that Mick loved Beth, he had no reason to believe that Beth was worthy of that love. Not until his vamp senses told him what he needed to know.

I was OK, really OK, till this line:

That’s what Mick felt as the first bullet shattered his breastbone – he'd never felt more alive.

For Josef to take Mick's humanity away without his expressly stated permission... that is huge. HUGE.

To me, though, hard as it is, there really is only one decision. Because Beth's right: Josef really doesn't believe that there are worse things than death. Life means possibility. And I think Josef needs Mick in the world.

[redwinter101]

Oh, honey, thank you.

You know (I know you know), the thing anyone wants most from any story is that a reader has an emotional reaction. To read that you were puzzled at the outset, then desperate to find out what happened and then moved at the end is the just the best, best, best thing.

When Grace gave me this story idea, I was desperate to come up with something that would do it justice because, out of all the wonderful relationships in Moonlight, Mick and Josef are at the heart of everything for me. I adored the way they handled the re-turning and the aftermath (that wonderfully light-hearted conversation about Dad and Facebook) that the thought of screwing around with it was both terrifying and unbelievably enthralling.

For Josef to take Mick's humanity away without his expressly stated permission... that is huge. HUGE.

To me, though, hard as it is, there really is only one decision. Because Beth's right: Josef really doesn't believe that there are worse things than death. Life means possibility. And I think Josef needs Mick in the world.

Yes, absolutely.

And now that he's got that, what will it mean for all of them?

Red

[jen]

Fabulous (of course).

Earlier in that episode, Mick had dealt with Bonnie Morrow who, knowing that her father Kent was driving the car when her mother was killed. The young woman was going to commit suicide over her guilt at covering up the truth. Mick saves her and Beth is panics, 'if you'd have fallen you'd have died' but Coraline reverted to her vampiric state in the hospital.

This is just another one of those great mysteries that I think would have been revisited in the subsequent seasons that we didn't get.

What will happen here and how will Mick react?

Mick here did not have the chance to experience Guillermo pulling glass out of his leg as he fumes about 'getting his ass kicked' and that was a huge learning experience for him.

Will he forgive them for loving him so much they would do anything to keep him, even if it means losing his love for them in return or does he love them enough to forgive them even that?

Can't wait for the next chapter. Cul-de-sac, indeed!

[redwinter101]

Thanks, jen.

Mick here did not have the chance to experience Guillermo pulling glass out of his leg as he fumes about 'getting his ass kicked' and that was a huge learning experience for him.

He did experience that - everything in this story happened precisely as we saw in FtP, including Mick getting injured, patched up by Guillermo (and getting Anders' address in the process), collecting his weapons ( ) but then he headed off to fight Anders and rescue Beth without Josef's intervention - because Josef never answered Guillermo's warning call. So he did utter that important line, "Right now, being human sucks."

Will he forgive them for loving him so much they would do anything to keep him, even if it means losing his love for them in return or does he love them enough to forgive them even that?

That's a wonderfully perfect description of all three characters' dilemma.

Red

[jen]

Oh. Good to know.

Thank you for clarifying that for me.

Really looking forward to the next part!

[rijane]

If only he'd had the sense to answer that first call. If only.

That is a hell of an 'if only' and you introduce the premise here with such a masterful economy of phrasing. It's simple, but it's important.

Josef looked to Guillermo, his voice low and soft and dark, “Get him out of here,” he growled, gesturing to Talbot. “Get him to a hospital. Dump him in the parking lot if you have to. And don’t come back.”

Your Josef, he rocks. Hard. Bringing the bad-assery all over again.

Electric hum and traffic noise faded into the background and all that was left was Mick. He felt the flutter, the moment of surrender and pulled back, pushing away thoughts of souls and sins and reckoning as he bit into his own wrist. Deep; to the bone. A drip to Mick’s lips, to heal and kill.

This is far and away my favourite part - I want to roll it in my mouth and turn it over and over. It is poetry in motion- a ripple of rhythm and almost-rhyme, it's beautiful, just beautiful.

“Forgive me, brother.”

Good goddamn this has all the power of that original line and then some. Am absolutely salivating over another chapter now!

[darkstarrising]

I confess, you got me as well....I was so sure I knew where you were going with this, only to find you'd taken us down a completely different, yet completely plausible path...Kudos on taking the imagery from LLF and melding it seamlessly with what could have been in FTP.

What if Josef hadn't answered his phone? He's a busy man. Maybe there were deals to make. What possible harm could come of letting a call go to voice mail. He'd get back to them.

Yet you've shown us just what a decision like that could have cost him - the life and friendship of the man he held dear. In FTP, Mick pleaded to be turned back himself, so there was no doubt in Josef's mind as to Mick's desires. Now, you've put Josef in the position of trying to reconcile what Beth tells him Mick wants and what Josef believes his friend would want.

In this last bit, you give us a glimpse of Josef's soul - whichever path he chose, Josef would lose something - either Mick or Mick's friendship.

That’s what Mick felt as the first bullet shattered his breastbone – he'd never felt more alive. A sob rose in Josef’s throat and he forced himself to swallow. Concentrating, he closed his eyes, blocking out every sound except the rhythms of Mick’s fading body. Electric hum and traffic noise faded into the background and all that was left was Mick. He felt the flutter, the moment of surrender and pulled back, pushing away thoughts of souls and sins and reckoning as he bit into his own wrist. Deep; to the bone. A drip to Mick’s lips, to heal and kill.

“Come on, Mick. Rise and shine."

He could have stood to one side, watched him die the death he desired. Interfering with the universe’s plans was becoming a nasty habit. He leaned forward, stroking his fingers through Mick’s hair as he offered a silent prayer to the ancient gods of his ancestors and to the only man he’d ever called friend and meant it.

Beautifully done, Red and looking forward to what Josef's decision ended up costing him.

[Lucy]

ahhh, if the writers had just gone a couple of degrees to the left.....
I saw it all, thanks to you.

[wpgrace]

To me, though, hard as it is, there really is only one decision. Because Beth's right: Josef really doesn't believe that there are worse things than death. Life means possibility. And I think Josef needs Mick in the world.

Non sequiter and all, but just to point out, this was also Coraline's perspective on things...

Tho who DOESN'T need Mick in their world?
I know I've enjoyed his presence... and still do, thanks to our writers.

[jen]

Well said, Grace, well said!

[Luxe de Luxe]

wow.... powerful. visceral. pulls you in to the narrative right from the word go. such a real evocation of a small 'what if..' cul-de-sac that the show could so easily have gone down. as a TV audience we wouldn't have believed for a moment that Josef would let Mick go, but you....? Well, you did kill Josef once ..... you did leave Mick lying staked and alone with that goddamned dust settling into his eyes and well, ... well that that means anything's possible.

[redwinter101]

Ri, thank you - no-one does rhythm and word choice like you so I am beyond chuffed that you picked out that section. (I may also now have a new favourite word - I shall make it today's mission to use "bad-assery" at every available opportunity.)

dsr, YAY!!! I'm so happy I got you, too.

Lucy, a couple of degrees is all it takes - that's a lovely way of looking at this whole challenge. Thank you for the lovely comment.

To me, though, hard as it is, there really is only one decision. Because Beth's right: Josef really doesn't believe that there are worse things than death. Life means possibility. And I think Josef needs Mick in the world.

Non sequiter and all, but just to point out, this was also Coraline's perspective on things...

Oh that's genius. Mick certainly does inspire. In so many ways.

Luxe, SO happy to see your comment, honey. So very happy. And yes, I have a reputation to maintain (although Grace will do me some serious damage if I ever kill Mick again) and I totally you for remembering the dust.

Red

[Shadow]

Oh, Red, this goes so far into some of the very deepest questions about our characters! This is one of the things I've always wondered about - in a situation like this, during Mick's human time, what would Josef decide? And what would Mick want? This is the perfect place to have this happen, setting up an event that almost happened in the show. And you've given us such a look into Josef's soul. His first refusal to turn Mick back feels as if it comes straight from his knowledge of Mick. He's known Mick for so much longer than Beth has, and must have a better idea of what Mick would want. He knows how much Mick values the whole concept of mortality, including the part about death.

"There are worse things than death."
"You don't really believe that."
A sad shake of his head, "No. But Mick does."

And yet there are so many other factors here -- Josef's realization of how strong Beth's love for Mick really is (and what that means for Mick), Josef’s own desire to keep Mick with him, Beth pointing out that Mick's humanity is only temporary anyway, and thus not quite real. I didn't know what Josef would decide until the end, and still don't know exactly what made him decide to turn Mick back . . . and that's wonderful.

The intensity and immediacy of this piece are extraordinary. When Josef feels what Mick felt as a human, when he feels that life, in Mick's last moment of awareness, you can just feel it searing across Josef's soul. I don't think Josef will ever think quite the same way about the human condition, now that he has felt this.

And the parallels . . . with LLF and with the original turning scene . . . are amazing. In so many ways I love this even better than our original, beloved turning scene. I never liked the idea of Mick having to turn back to save Beth's life, and was amazed that the show managed to pull it off so beautifully. I can only imagine what they might have been able to do with something like this - something so much more subtle, with so many more ramifications. This will affect Josef's and Mick's relationship so much more than what happened in the series did. And what will Mick's reaction be? Waking up as a vampire again after once again being turned without his consent . . . wow. It's bound to be a lot different from what he felt after making the decision himself.

Really loved this. It will be so interesting to see what happens in part two!

[redwinter101]

When Josef feels what Mick felt as a human, when he feels that life, in Mick's last moment of awareness, you can just feel it searing across Josef's soul. I don't think Josef will ever think quite the same way about the human condition, now that he has felt this.

After so many centuries, it's hardly surprising Josef doesn't remember what it feels like to be alive - I think this will have been pretty shocking for him.

In so many ways I love this even better than our original, beloved turning scene. I never liked the idea of Mick having to turn back to save Beth's life, and was amazed that the show managed to pull it off so beautifully. I can only imagine what they might have been able to do with something like this - something so much more subtle, with so many more ramifications. This will affect Josef's and Mick's relationship so much more than what happened in the series did. And what will Mick's reaction be? Waking up as a vampire again after once again being turned without his consent . . . wow. It's bound to be a lot different from what he felt after making the decision himself.

Oh, how amazing. The only thing that ever bothered me about the original re-turning scene was that as I watched it I was screaming at the TV for Mick to get a posse together rather than get Josef to turn him back. For some reason it made sense to me that he would put his human life on the line to fight Anders alone - because no matter the risks, he didn't really think he was going to die - but not that he would give up his humanity. That might not make sense to anyone else but it was how I felt. So Mick setting off on his own, riding in to try to save the day, kidding himself about his chances against Anders, always struck me as a possible scenario.

As I said above, this is so much harder for all of them - but also easier. The first time Mick was turned, the alternative was going on living his life as a human. But here, the alternative was death. There wasn't any doubt - if Josef hadn't turned him, he would have died.

Thank you so much for reading - and for such amazing feedback.

Red