Instinct - PG13 - Champagne Challenge #103

[jen]

Just came by for a reread and was blown away. I remembered that this was good, but WOW.

I'd quote the lines that I love but I would have the entire fic in this post. Many of us were particularly impressed with 'pity and condemnation were two sides of the same coin and I wasn't taking contributions' Weighty. And yet very Mick. He is very hard on himself. Perhaps that is one of the things we so love about him.

This is a classic, and should be read often. Very insightful!

Thank you!

[susieb]

Such a powerful voiceover it reads like pure canon.
This is fabulous:

Pity and condemnation are two side of the same coin and I wasn’t taking donations.

So perfectly Mick:

I’ll live, but I’ll never be alive again. I thought I’d gotten used to that idea until tonight. It’s instinct -- you go on because you have to. But whatever it is that keeps me here – I’m not sure it’s enough anymore. I just drove off the one thing that made it bearable.

I'd have to quote the whole story if I quoted all my favorites.

[Lilly]

I think I missed responding to this when I was out of town...

jen, thank you so much for stopping back. Your insights are always appreciated.

Such a powerful voiceover it reads like pure canon.
...
I'd have to quote the whole story if I quoted all my favorites.

Thank you so much, susie! Mick's inner voice is so powerful. I'm truly honored that you think I hit the right notes.

[maggatha3]

What a beautiful story, Mick's point of view of that difficult , dangerous and complicated night, for both of them. Between Mick's voice-over and your writing, Lilly, I am totally stunned.

I don’t know how, but I pulled myself up and let her see the blood-stained monster in all its glory. Larger than life. Uglier than death.

I don't think I have ever read a better line of how he feels about himself before, and yet in the end of the story we can also see that a change is beginning to happen deep within him, his need for connection being stronger than his instict of survival!!

Lilly, thank you , this was and will always be one of my most beloved Moonlight moments, and you have brought so much life to it...

PS .I am so excited I found the Champange challenges Retrospective Guide!! There should be a treasure-chest smiley just for this thread!!

[allegrita]

I'm always happy to see any of Lilly's stories get bubbled up to Active Topics. And this one is such a grabber.

Lilly, you are a master of the voiceover. You craft your writing so perfectly that it feels utterly natural - every cadence, every word is exactly right. This is Mick. I can hear his voice as I read, and I can see him sitting on the stairs, flicking that lighter over and over, running his fingers through the flames... thinking about ending it all, but knowing he won't. He can't. It's not in his nature to give up, much as he might yearn for the easy way out.

I love the way you bookend the story, calling to mind the wonderful way Moonlight episodes were bookended:

The instinct for survival is strong. It’s what keeps a species going. For vampires, it’s part of us on a cellular level. You can try to maintain some sort of control – a grasp of who you are – but the fact is, there’s a point where who you are takes a back seat to what you are. And the result can tear you apart.

So here I am with this lighter – flicking it on, off, on – staring into the flames again and wondering if I should finish what Spaulding started. Wondering – if who I am is greater than what I am.

Maybe it’s not up to me to decide. The instinct for survival is strong – but sometimes the need for connection is stronger.

The instinct for survival. The struggle between who you are and what you are. The longing for connection. These ideas are so fundamental to Mick's nature, and to the vibe of Moonlight. And you capture them perfectly.

[Lilly]

maggatha -- I'm so glad that the Champagne Challenges Retrospective Guide pointed you this way. And I'm even more thrilled that you liked what you read once you got here. Your kind words mean so much to me -- they are truly appreciated.


Alle - What can I say? Every re-read and each new comment from you is such a gift. I can't tell you how much it means to me that this piece stills has an effect on you.

[jen]

Saw this a couple of days ago on Active Topics but didn't read it then--too taken up with other issues--but hunted it up and read it now.

You would think that the Coffee House taught me what an amazing talent you are! We are all somewhat united in our appreciation of all things Moonlight, but not in being able to put the essence of it into words so well.

Brava, Lilly.

Just...brava.

Thank you!

Jenna

[Lilly]

jen - thank you SO much for taking the time to find this piece and check it out. Your comment means the world to me.

[cassysj]

Taking a walk through some of the older challenges. You are the master of voice over and I am always amazed at how well you hear Mick. Just wonderful.

[Lilly]

Thank you so much, Carol. That means so much to me.

[Marigold]

Nicely done, Lilly! You captured Mick's voice perfectly.

The instinct for survival is strong – but sometimes the need for connection is stronger.

What a beautiful sentence!

Thank you!

[jen]

Lilly

What an artist you are and how lucky we are to enjoy pieces like this!!!

Thank you!

Jenna

[BlueEyedMonster]

Lilly your words are so perfect I feel like I am in the room with Mick watching his story unfold. You amaze me time and time again.
.

[Lilly]

Marigold and jen -- I'm so sorry I missed responding to your comments a while back. Please know that they are very much appreciated.

BEM -- I can't tell you how delighted I am that you've been exploring my office and finding pieces that you like. It's such a lovely thing to have new eyes on my little stories and to hear that they've touched someone new. Thank you so much for your kind words.

[MickLifeCrisis]

Well, I had never read this one before! What can I say that hasn't already been said? You captured Mick perfectly and I can hear every word. So glad he decided not to finish what Lee Jay had started. His need for connection will prevail.

Well done!