Closure - PG13 - Josef

[librarian_7]

And I'd just like to add how thrilled I am that this piece is getting the level of comments it so richly deserves.

Lilly doesn't post often, but when she does...instant classic. (Yes, dear, I know there is NOTHING "instant" about your writing. I'm just sayin'...)

We're damn fortunate to have a writer of this calibre in the fandom.

Lucky

[redwinter101]

And I'd just like to add how thrilled I am that this piece is getting the level of comments it so richly deserves.

Lilly doesn't post often, but when she does...instant classic. (Yes, dear, I know there is NOTHING "instant" about your writing. I'm just sayin'...)

We're damn fortunate to have a writer of this calibre in the fandom.

Lucky

What she said.

Red

[PNWgal]

My apologies for taking so long to respond .

To say this is a well-written piece is an understatement. You've added another rich layer to someone I've always maintained was more complex than he was given credit for.

Misplaced vengeance on John Whitley's part for a man who only wanted one thing - to make Sarah his forever and who forever will blame himself for her existence between the living and the dead. The conversation between Whitley and Josef is some of the best I've ever read.

I don't think seeing this played out on the screen would have even come close to being as mult-faceted and moving as this is.

Well done, Lilly.

[Lilly]

Lucky, Red and PNWgal -- thank you so much. Praise from the three of you is high praise indeed -- -- and it means the world to me.

[Phoenix]

Josef had never read the textbooks, but he had lived long enough to learn a thing or two about human physiology. Blood was an intriguing cocktail, and hatred added its own kind of poison to the mix. Even the most virulent cancer had a worthy opponent in that bitter chemotherapy. The power of the human mind was sometimes frightening, even to him.

Brava, Lilly. *is lost for words*

[jen]

Wow.

You have such a gift for fleshing out a story and adding so much depth and emotional content.

Fabulous!!!

[Raven]

When Sleeping Beauty first aired, the scene of Josef reliving the loss of his greatest love and the endless agony he must bear as he reveals his heart to Mick and Beth and the scene when Beth hands Josef the diary..."she really loved you" are as powerful as they are because of the acting. In my humble and tender opinion, Sleeping Beauty...no, in fact, Moonlight itself was magnificent in its acting...not so much the writing. I'm not debasing the Moonlight writing (really, I'm not), but it's the acting that elevated the show to its highest peaks.
The absolute beauty of the writing aside, the splendor of this piece, Closure, is the way the writing taps the readers senses and emotions. Sure, it has the advantage of being a story and not a script but that doesn't matter. What happened is that I didn't read this story, I felt it and I heard it and I saw it. Had this been a scene in the show, I have no doubt in my mind that it would have been the most memorable of all. And the added dimensions to Josef's character are nothing short of masterful. So, again in my humble and tender opinion, this story is written by a true "master".
And, Lilly, regardless that you insist you are just a regular mom who happens to love Moonlight...I insist that you are some famous writer who is also a mom who happens to love Moonlight. So there.

[Lilly]

Raven -- Have I mentioned how much I've missed you?

Seriously, though, thank you so much for your kind and generous words. Filling in the gaps has become one of my favorite motivations for writing. Not only did this episode need some, well, closure -- there were many unanswered questions about what happened following Sarah's disappearance that I thought needed to be explored.

[allegrita]

Lilly,

When I first read this story, I was so utterly blown away by it I couldn't respond. And then time got away from me, and I never came back. My apologies--because this is one of the best stories you've written, and that is saying a hell of a lot.

So (at last) I'm back. I'm still overwhelmed by this story, but I'll try to say something cogent. I'm a little afraid to start, because I fear my comments could easily be as long as the story!

OK... here we go.

First, in answer to some of the comments, I don't think they could do justice to this story on film, because Josef's thoughts are so powerful here. I'd love to see it, to hear the actors say those wonderful lines, but in all honesty I think the depth of beauty in your story would not be well served. Your descriptions of Josef's thoughts, his ruminations on his long life, and beautiful phrases like this one would be lost if they filmed your story: Even the most virulent cancer had a worthy opponent in that bitter chemotherapy. Just. Beautiful.

This is a story that needs to be read, and savored, and read again. It's just... well, it's amazing. I guess I shouldn't be surprised; your stories are always amazing... but man. This one just hit me hard.

The story starts so compellingly. It grabbed me from the very first line:

No lights or siren heralded the arrival of a dead man.

Wow. The city is more alive than Whitley. It pulses with life, and he's barely there at all, held to the earth only by his hatred.

(And if I may digress: people talk about Los Angeles being almost another character on Moonlight, and New York is certainly a character in this story. I've never been to New York, but I can feel what it must be like from your words. You set the stage so amazingly well. You use the word "throbs" to describe its vitality. As if it has a heartbeat of its own. You make me want to walk the streets of New York and just feel the beat.)

Whitley is perfectly portrayed here. There are people who hang onto life by sheer cussedness, and he's one of 'em. He had a reason for sticking around, and he was damned if he was going to let his body die till he accomplished his goal. Mind you, Josef had other ideas. But he had a worthy adversary in Whitley, a man with a similar strength of will and intelligence. The wonderful thing you pull off in this story is to bring our opinion of Whitley around at the end... you let us see the grieving father beneath the vitriol. And that's an amazing accomplishment, because Whitley was not written as a complex character on the show. You saw the potential, and brought it out.

And then there's Josef. Oh, man. We learned so much about Josef in Sleeping Beauty, and the complex, (dare I say... tormented?) man beneath the sophisticated veneer is still very much exposed at the time of your story. Mind you, he can still turn a devastating phrase, but the hurt is showing. He's so introspective here. I love to see him with the curtain pulled back for a while. What a fascinating person he is.

Other people have already mentioned the wonderful image of the eleven steps to the point of no return. To me that is such a stark symbol of the world of possibility that Josef and Sarah hoped for 50 years ago... and the sad reality that he's dealt with ever since. For him to carry her father up those same stairs, in a sad parody of that joyful walk over the threshold, is really poignant and beautifully done.

One of the things I like so much about this story is that Josef not only gives John Whitley one last chance to see and kiss his daughter. He also makes him see, at the end of his life, how much his bitter nature had poisoned his life and the people he loved--and that even his wife, who loved and stood by him for so long, protected his daughter from him.

(By the way, that letter from Sarah's mom just about broke my heart. Only a mother could write that letter. Thank you for that, Lilly.)

Everything Whitley had believed in gets turned on its head, right here at the end. What a lesson, learned much too late! But maybe letting go of that bitterness was what allowed him to let go of life at last.

And Josef? Well, Josef is a survivor.

[tucutecats]

Well done, the actual writers of Moonlight couldn't have done better,

[Lilly]

Alle, my goodness. Your comments were certainly worth waiting for, and I am humbled by them. That fact that my little piece of writing moved you so much just blows me away.

It's interesting what you say about Whitley. He wasn't necessarily written on the show as an evil man. I think that became our perception because he tried to kill Josef. He was a dying old man, embittered by the exploitation and murder (or so he thought) of his daughter. He was ruthless in his pursuit of vengeance, but we don't really know what sort of man he was when Sarah was "alive," or even if he had any first-hand dealings with Charles Fitzgerald. That was all left up to our imagination. I've speculated on that in another fic and tried to remain consistent here. I'm so glad that my "take" on him is believable to you.

To be honest, I'm not sure where the letter came from. I was thinking about the relationship between Whitley and his wife and what it must have been like for her to have kept that diary hidden for fifty years. I guess you're right -- the "mom" in me just kicked in.

Thank you so much for re-reading and for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate it.


--------

tucutecats -- I can't tell you how much I appreciate your kind words.

[jen]

This popped back to the top of Active Topics and so I read it again. I say 'again' as I saw my previous note, but how could I have responded with so few words? Unbelievable. I have no sense.

What Alle said.

Each and every word. Your descriptions are careful, rich and multilayered. We experience Waverly Place on a cold, New York December day with all senses through your beautiful, beautiful words. Then, you give us a glimpse of the men involved--the complexities of their separate pain, and the odd peace that they achieve at the end.

I have no words...well, that is not precisely true, I always have words...but not nearly enough to do this justice.

Brava, Lilly!

And thank you!

Jenna

[Lilly]

Jenna -- Thank you so much for re-reading. I really appreciate all of your comments, no matter how long or short, and what you've said here truly touched me.

[toria1521]

This was a sensitive portrait of two men in pain, one of whom will never get relief or release. I aplaud your own senstivity and the insight you've given me into this very private moment.

Your prose is delicious. Please write more...about anything

toria

[Lilly]

toria - thank you so much for your comment. It means a great deal to me.

I do try to write when I can. It just seems to take longer to finish anything these days.