Moonlightaholics

I haven't been around in a while and in the time away I hadn't written anything. This is my first in a long time. It feels REALLY good to have written something new.

My thanks to PNWgal who inspires me and whose encouragement helps to carry me through. Also, for helping to clean up this one-shot to make it more presentable.


So, in answer to Champagne Challenge #149 . . .



Unfinished Business


Beth pulled her Prius into an empty spot right in front of the diner. Any other day she would have been grateful. Today, she had been hoping she’d have to circle around for a spot. It would have given her some extra time to settle her stomach before going in.

Really? Who am I kidding? There was no settling until she got this done.

Taking her keys out of the ignition Beth squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. One. Two. Three. She grabbed her bag and headed into the diner.

The interior was dark after coming in from the bright morning, and the blond took off her glasses and looked around giving her eyes a moment to adjust.

An elegant brunette sitting at a small table held her hand up and signaled from across the room. Beth headed over, striving to keep her legs steady.

The two women kissed each other in greeting and settled into their chairs. They were quiet for a moment, wan smiles working muscles unused for weeks.

I’m always rushing things. It’s too soon. She looks so tired and still hurting so much. But I can’t take it another day. The lies. And wouldn’t it be better to do it now than to break her heart all over again a few weeks from now?

“It’s nice to see you, Sweetheart. And it’s nice to get out for some fresh air. This breakfast was a good idea.” Beth nodded and bit her lip as a warm hand covered hers.

Even her voice sounds tired and she’s trying so hard to be upbeat. Breakfast at a diner was a horrible idea. It’s too public. This is wrong. I should have had her over for dinner or just went over to her house.

The hand over hers patted once and then settled, giving a squeeze. “This has been so hard on all of us. You must be feeling so alone without him.” The words sing-songed with an empathy that had Beth feeling like she’d washed with egg whites that morning.

The ladies pulled their hands from the table and sat back as a waitress sidled up to them with two steaming pots of coffee and brows raised in question.

“Regular for me, thank you.”

Beth just nodded her ‘ditto’ and flashed a tight smile at her companion.

Coffees were poured, food ordered and they were once again alone.

Should I wait until after she eats or should I just do it now? I can’t wait and it wouldn’t be right. She’s being so kind. If she only knew. . .

I’m just going to tell her.

“I, umm. . . I want to give you a couple things.” Pulling her bag from the floor, Beth pulled out an envelope and a small black box and placed them on the table between them. She quickly removed her hands, knotting them in her lap to control the shaking.

“What are they?” There was a slight tremble in the older woman’s voice as if Beth’s nerves were contagious.

Just spit it out. You got it started so just follow through. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. It will hurt now but she deserves to know and move on.

“It’s the engagement ring and the payout on his Life Insurance policy. You should have them, Frances.”

Ignoring the envelope, Josh’s mother softly touched the top of the velvet box before pushing it with her fingertips back towards Beth.

“No. No, Sweetie. Josh gave that to you. It’s yours.”

“No. Actually he didn’t.”

Eyes so like her son’s narrowed in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“He didn’t give it to me. After he....passed, I kept his appointment with the woman who reset the stone and she gave it to me.”

“Okay. Well, I’m sorry he didn’t get to give it to you. He was so excited about proposing.” The voice failed. Trying to gather herself the woman looked away and cleared her throat. “Even if he never got the chance, he wanted you to have it.”

The muscles in Beth’s stomach cramped and she had to fight back the impulse to jump up and run. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. “But...” Like pulling off a band-aid. Right? Just spit it out. “I wouldn’t have accepted it.” Beth looked down, not wanting to witness the censure she was sure would be staring back at her.

“What do you mean? The two of you were so in love. I thought....” Uncertainty crept into the confusion. “Didn’t you love my son?” Suspicion joined the party taking things up an octave. “Beth, you wore the ring to his funeral.”

Beth nodded. Leaning her elbow on the table she began to absently rub at her pounding temple. “I was confused. I felt responsible. He was trying to protect me and I missed him. I loved him, Frances, I did, but towards the end, we were having problems.”

It might have been mother’s or women’s intuition. It could have been some remembered remark Josh had made to his mother. Maybe it was the guilt all over Beth’s face. In any case, it was clear that Frances Lindsey now finally understood. “I see.”

The disappointment compressed in those two words shattered what little composure Beth had left. Dropping her head into her hands she nodded confirmation that, indeed, the conclusion the other woman had come to was in fact correct.

I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt him. To hurt you. Beth was silent. She didn’t dare ask for forgiveness. She knew she didn’t deserve any. She kept her head down as Josh’s mother confiscated the small box and envelope. Beth did not look up as the other woman rose slowly and collected her things, allowing her to make a silent, dignified exit.

The waitress came with their food and left. Beth sat there for a few more minutes, waiting for the trembling to stop before leaving some money on the table and walking out to her car.

She made it to her car and managed to close the door before the sobs began; great bellowing breathes that tore through her throat and wracked her body. Beth sat back in the seat and let them loose. It was a culmination of everything that had gone on in the last few weeks. She needed to release it, needed the purging.

Beth had buried Josh but she had still clung to the guilt. She hadn’t been honest with him. He had deserved better than she gave him. It was a painful admission but she needed the brutal honesty in order to finally put their relationship behind her. This really was goodbye and it hurt. Much more than she expected. But no less than she deserved.

It took almost a quarter of an hour for the weeping to finally subside into occasional tears that itched as they clung to her damp face. With steady hands Beth swiped at her cheeks and took a couple of deep, cleansing breaths. With the calming, she felt lighter. Freer. She’d turned a corner and could finally look ahead.

As Beth reached for her keys to start her car her stomach growled and she rolled her eyes at the irony. She thought she might have a breakfast bar in her bag. Searching for it her hand came across her phone and an idea hit her.

Should she do it? Shouldn’t she wait? No. Life’s too short. It’s time to live. No more waiting.

A quick scroll through contacts and she hit send. “Hey, Mick? It’s a beautiful day. How about meeting me at the beach? I’ll bring lunch.”

Wait I second till I get a tissue...

That was beautiful and sad all at the same time. What a perfect inner voice for Beth. And definitely some unfinished business that needed to be addressed.

And Mrs. Lindsey's "I see," did indeed speak volumes. I wonder if she was still in the parking lot somewhere and saw Beth sobbing?

Time for Beth to look ahead - she knew first hand that life was short.

This was just lovely, GA! So wonderful to have you back writing for us!

Oh my gosh, where the heck are those tissues?!

I love this. And I honestly believe that Beth would have done this. It was the right thing to do, hard as it was. Poor Mrs. Lindsey... but that stone should stay in the family.

I can just see Beth buying out the store because she's starving, too! And then she blames Mick.

Pass the tissues, ladies

This is a wonderful bridge between the end of 'Mortal Cure' and the scene on the beach, GA. At the funeral, Josh's ring was on Beth's finger, but her heart was elsewhere. Of course Josh's family would assume he had proposed and Beth had accepted, but Beth knew there would be a point in time where she'd need to be honest with them.

Frances is perfect - she's in mourning for her son and assumes Beth is as well, thinking they will help each other through their grief. Her shock at learning the truth (I see) was kept in check, but her silent departure indicated just how hurt she was. By taking the ring and the money with nary a word to a guilt ridden Beth was the only way she could strike back in a 'dignified' manner. Beth was now as dead to her as her son.

My stomach was in knots as Beth tried to face this woman then tell her the truth. Her melt down afterward was fully understandable- a good cry to ease all the tension she felt, but once relieved, Beth looks to the future.

Thanks so much for this!

So glad your muse is letting you write again! Beautiful connection between Mortal Cure and the picnic as dsr said.

That was a wonderful little fill-in. I loved that Beth had to be honest and reveal the truth to Mrs. Lindsey, no matter how painful. She couldn't live a lie. Josh's memory deserved the truth. And that explains why at the beach she wasn't wearing his ring any longer, as Mick noticed. Thanks!

How have I missed this treasure before??????

This wonderful little story feels perfectly in character for Beth at this time: rather like a counterpoint to her dance-around-the-truth with Josh. Fueled partly by her guilt for not being honest with Josh, and believing (rightly or wrongly) that her actions had a role in Josh's death, she was honest with his mom, when it really would have been kinder remain silent.

It also fits beautifully with her words to Mick at the beach picnic. She was more direct about her feelings than she had been previously and put the ball clearly back in his court.

In time, I hope Mrs. Lindsey would come to see the act for what it was. An earnest young woman who wanted to do the right thing--just not in the right way or at the right time.

Thank you!

jenna

exactly what we needed to know....(You were there and got it all!)

Lovely. And emotionally true.

I do love a story that fills in a blank. This is absolutely in character, and in canon.

Welcome back, GA! We've missed you.

MLC: Thank you. I don't think Mrs. Lindsey would have stuck around long enough to have seen Beth's breakdown. But then again, who knows? Yes, Beth knows first hand that life is short - no more wasting time. It's good to be back.

Alle: So happy you liked it. I think Beth would have felt obligated to give the ring back because the stone was his grandmother's. And because she was kind of living a lie with Josh. Had she been honest he wouldn't have proposed. LOL. Of course she'd blame Mick.

DSR: Thank you. I hate loose ends and think that Beth would definitely given the ring back. And the money. She wouldn't have felt entitled to either. I tried to put myself in her shoes. Admitting the truth to his grieving mother would be terrifying and humbling. I can't imagine the pent up tension that this and all the drama leading up to it would cause. Frances is how I imagined Josh's mother to be. Glad it worked for you.

r1015bill: I am too! LOL. Thank you.

helloeeze: Josh's memory did deserve the truth. I think Beth would have felt she owed him that. No way could she have kept what didn't belong to her. Thank you.

Jenna: You didn't really miss it. I hadn't posted it that long ago. I'm glad it feels in character to you. I don't know if it would have been kinder to stay silent though. Mrs. Lindsey would have viewed Beth as almost a daughter-in-law. She would have probably continued to do so. Would it be kind to letting her keep on thinking/doing that? She would feel humiliated when it came out later. I do agree that it fits with Beth being more direct with Mick at the beach. No more pussy-footing around. She was on a mission! LOL

Lucy: It does feel like that sometimes! Thank you, glad it worked for you.

Lucky: I love a story that fills in the blanks too. I like things tied up nice and tidy. Thank you. Glad it felt in character and in canon. I could not imagine Beth keeping the ring or money. The guilt would have stifled her and had her continuing to live a lie. I don't think she was totally unselfish either. She would not have been able to move forward and after what she wanted with that weight over her.

Just found this story. How absolutely perfect GA

I always felt that Josh did indeed die happy thinking that he had protected the women he loved and won her back from the mysterious Mick St. John. Beth needed to cleanse her soul before she could move on and do what her heart told her was right. Returning the ring to Josh's family and admitting she would not have accepted his proposal gave her closure but still let Josh with a happy death.

BEM: Thank you. I don't know if Josh died happy per se, but he did die believing that his and Beth's relationship was on the upswing. I'm sure Beth took some comfort in that and it helped with her guilt somewhat. But what a tangle she must have been in, knowing it wasn't true. I think in the couple days leading up to his death she really did want to believe the same thing but with his death and learning of his impending proposal she had to face the truth. And then share it with his family in order to have that closure. Not something I envy her.

This was making me cry, too.
The perfect Scene to fit into the Story. It makes so much sense it will go into my personal Canon of what happened. I think Beth has been all over the place during that Episode, but your Story explains how she could go on after all the guilt and sorrow and have a picnic with Mick.
I love this.

I love that Beth did this, hard though it was for both women. I always wondered about how Beth felt about receiving the insurance money and the family ring after she had realized she would not have accepted the proposal from Josh. It feels very right and satisfying that she returned these things to his family. And what emotions this brought forth!

francis: It made sense to me and I'm over the hill that it made enough to you to become your personal canon. As much as I wanted Beth to choose Mick and put Josh behind her, his death was a huge hurdle. I felt there had to be a little more to Beth's recovery.

Shadow: I agree. I couldn't stand the thought of Beth keeping the money and ring. Their relationship wasn't what Josh thought it was. So keeping it made her a fraud. At least that's how I saw it. I'm very happy that this scenario felt right and satisfying to you as well. Thank you.