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I Feel Better (G) - Monologue Challenge 157

Posted: Sat May 17, 2014 4:30 am
by MickLifeCrisis
Disclaimer: I don't own Moonlight, any of its characters or dialogue.
Rating: G
Characters: Mick, Beth, Leni
A/N: From Fever, for the Monologue Challenge #157. Thank you PNWgal for the once over! :hug:


I Feel Better


“Mick, are you okay?”

“I feel better.”

I answer Leni’s question as she rushes into my arms, glad to see that I’m alive. Well, alive to her way of thinking. I glance over at Beth, sitting on the floor where she fell.

She looks down at her wrist, wrapped in a bloody towel and I wonder what she is thinking. When she offered me her blood I recoiled at the very idea. ‘Not yours! Not like this!’ I told her. I was sure it would be unbearable for me. But her stubbornness, and my vampire sense of self-preservation, prevailed.

I told her she would have to stop me; I didn’t think I would have the will power. And yet, once I tasted her blood I felt the connection between us. This was not just feeding for the sake of survival. This was something more. And I stopped when she merely whispered my name.

Then the awkwardness set in. As if sucking blood from someone’s wrist while sitting fully clothed in a bathtub full of ice water in No Star Motel wasn’t awkward enough. Neither of us said anything; she not really knowing what to say and me not fully in charge of myself yet. I needed a few minutes more for the blood to fully course throughout my starved body. I didn’t even close the bite marks or thank her. She stood up, grabbed a towel to wrap around her wrist and walked out to check on Leni, closing the door behind her for my privacy.

Now with Leni in my embrace Beth looks at me with a dazed stare. So much emotion roiling up inside of me and I can’t even say ‘thank you’ – not in front of Leni. All I can do is give her a small smile, and hope she understands how grateful I am.




The end.

Re: I Feel Better (G) - Monologue Challenge 157

Posted: Sat May 17, 2014 7:14 am
by allegrita
Awww... those poor kids. What a mess. :comfort2: But they'll figure it out. Eventually. :laugh: I love your interpretation of Mick. You really get his yearning to retain his humanity despite his vampire instincts, and his amazing connection to (and love for) Beth. Thanks so much for giving us this glimpse into his mind! :hug:

You know... a long time ago, I wrote a drabble that tried to capture Beth's thoughts during this same moment. How about you write a companion piece that does the same thing...? :teeth: I'd love to see your take on Beth's reaction after all she went through... :chin:

Re: I Feel Better (G) - Monologue Challenge 157

Posted: Sat May 17, 2014 10:56 am
by diane31
Oh I love that scene so much, I have wondered so much what goes through their mind at that moment. It feels so good to get into Mick's head then! Thank you!!! :yahoo: :rose:

I also love the way you give a hint of how Mick is going to react later on by showing the awkwardness that he feels. And it really gives a sense of, well, anticlimax I guess? The contrast between on the one hand the so special moments they just shared, when the rest of the world had retreated and only the two of them, Beth saving Mick's life, mattered, and on the other hand the descent back to Earth after that.

And I really love that you show Mick yearning to thank Beth, just not being able to. Seeing her like that, looking up at him with that dazed look in her eyes, well I guess we've all wished she had gotten that hug as thanks, hey?! :laugh:

allegrita wrote:You know... a long time ago, I wrote a drabble that tried to capture Beth's thoughts during this same moment. How about you write a companion piece that does the same thing...? I'd love to see your take on Beth's reaction after all she went through...
Oh yes yes yes please do!!!
:pray:

Re: I Feel Better (G) - Monologue Challenge 157

Posted: Sun May 18, 2014 12:34 am
by darkstarrising
I loved that scene as well and you captured its awkwardness perfectly. The look on Beth's face as Leni hugged Mick always fascinated me - she's probably sore and just a little confused. Maybe she felt the same type of connection that Mick did, but with Leni around, neither one of them could talk about.

Great answer to the challenge, MLC :hug:

Re: I Feel Better (G) - Monologue Challenge 157

Posted: Sun May 18, 2014 3:34 am
by cassysj
You really did a great job with their "first" time This feeding between vampire and human was as awkward as two teenagers figuring out their "firsts" what to say, what to hold back? What does she think? Etc.

Re: I Feel Better (G) - Monologue Challenge 157

Posted: Mon May 19, 2014 3:55 am
by MickLifeCrisis
Thanks so much for the lovely comments! :flowers: I'm glad this hit a chord with you all.

I'll have to think over writing a Beth POV... and Pgal told me the same thing! :chin:

Re: I Feel Better (G) - Monologue Challenge 157

Posted: Thu May 22, 2014 11:07 pm
by nutmegger911
Aarg! You're tearing my heart out! That was one of the most poignant scenes in the series. Beth sacrificing so much and then left to watch Leni rushing into Mick's arms. The jealousy was there. The loss in her face was palpable. Mick unable to convey his appreciation, and the awkwardness of it all. Tumultuous. Truly tumultuous.

Re: I Feel Better (G) - Monologue Challenge 157

Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2014 1:27 pm
by MickLifeCrisis
nutmegger911 wrote:Aarg! You're tearing my heart out! That was one of the most poignant scenes in the series. Beth sacrificing so much and then left to watch Leni rushing into Mick's arms. The jealousy was there. The loss in her face was palpable. Mick unable to convey his appreciation, and the awkwardness of it all. Tumultuous. Truly tumultuous.
Thank you, NM! I hope your heart is okay now. :kiss: