100% Freshie Chapter 23 --PG-13

[librarian_7]

Disclaimer: The characters from Moonlight are copyrighted by CBS, and no infringement is intended.

Special note: This work takes place in the world of Moonlight, but your favorite vamps are not the main focus. Sorry about that; try to enjoy the story anyway. You might be surprised.

100% Freshie

Chapter 23

“Under no circumstances.” Will spoke slowly, enunciating each syllable very carefully. “Do you understand?”

The doctor nodded, although not in agreement. “I understand your position,” she said, “but you need to consider the situation, Mr. Spence. Her mind is gone. And it’s not coming back.”

Will turned away gazing through the thick one-way window. As though she could sense his presence, Hunter was pressed against the other side, eyes wild, hands scrabbling against the glass. Her mouth was working, but even Will’s ultra-sensitive ears could hear no sound. As he watched, an attendant came in and attempted to pull her away. His efforts did not distract her; she reached for the glass, hands outstretched, yearning. The look on her face was terrible to see. “I thought she was improving. You stood there last week and told me she was improving.”

The doctor shrugged her slender shoulders, the movement elegant within her white coat. “Mr. Spence, I’m not here to argue with you. I made a recommendation. If you choose to take it, I think it would be best for all concerned. If not, we will continue to treat Hunter.” She paused. “But you should be aware that her prognosis is poor. I don’t know exactly what happened to that girl, but I’ve been dealing with the wreckage left in the wake of this lifestyle”--Will noticed she was careful to avoid saying vampire—“for over fifteen years now. Once these girls are broken this badly, they rarely come back.”

“Rarely does not mean never.” Will was grasping at straws, but there was no other option. “I refuse to give up on Hunter. She was special. She was—she is important to me.”

“Mr. Spence,” the doctor sighed, “every girl that comes through here in her condition is special, and every one has a protector who thinks she’s important. The ones who aren’t special to someone—well, you know as well as I do that there is another professional in this town who handles those cases.”

Will raked a hand through his blond hair, frustrated. “And now you’re telling me I might as well call on the services of—that professional.” He couldn’t bring himself to say it, but he did know who was meant.

“It would save you and Hunter a great deal of pain.”

If the sudden appearance of the vampire looming so very close to her face startled her, the doctor gave no indication. Will reflected that this was probably not the first time she’d been target of misdirected aggression; she certainly handled it well. He backed down, took a slow, measured breath before he spoke. “Let’s just say that the issue of euthanasia is off the table. This girl is twenty-three, and physically there is nothing wrong with her, correct?”

“That’s accurate, as far as it goes.” The doctor, he noticed, was phrasing things very carefully at this point. Perhaps she was not as immune to his anger as she appeared.

“Then, although I do not have your experience and training, doctor, I fail to see why this is a matter of great urgency. Surely, as long as the bills are being paid, there is no reason not to continue to—to try and help her.” Will let his pain edge into his voice at the last. He understood that this woman saw herself in the same light as a veterinarian urging that an injured animal be put down, but to suggest that for his Hunter? It was unspeakable. It was an indictment of his species that such a practice was not only tolerated, but encouraged, and it sickened him. A kill, in the heat of rage or passion, that was one thing, but this cold-blooded disregard for life was wrong. He might have lost a lot of touch with his humanity, but he wasn’t that far gone.

The doctor shrugged again. “If that is what you wish, certainly we will do everything we can for her. I’m only trying to make you aware that everything we can do, may not be enough to actually help her.”

Will nodded. “I understand. But you need to understand that she—she fed me with her heart’s blood for over two years, and I will not abandon her now.” Abandon her again, he added silently.

The doctor regarded him coldly. For a human, Will thought, she was as cold as any vamp he’d ever known. Perhaps it was fifteen years, as she’d said, of dealing with the wreckage of their presence in the city, perhaps it was a mask to hide the compassion she must once have had, but as far as he could tell, she was cold to the core. “Of course,” she said, adding with a faint shadow of empathy, “I do know what these girls are to their—friends.”

“But?”

“But sooner or later, in other cases I have seen, the friends stop appearing. Stop visiting, and stop caring. And in the end, we do what we should have done long before. Free the spirits trapped inside these ruined minds.”

Through the window, Will could see Hunter sitting quietly now, but she was still staring directly at him, some uncanny sense drawing her gaze ever in his direction. “I want to see her,” he said abruptly. “I need to hold her.”

The doctor nodded. “She’s a bit underweight yet. I don’t think feeding from her at this time would be the best course of action.” Her voice was distant. He could tell she didn’t approve, but she probably had seen vampires feeding from other wrecked freshies. And he understood the urge. He wanted to recapture how it had felt to taste Hunter’s blood, he wanted desperately to renew the connection between them. He wanted to explain to her that base nourishment was the least of it. What he desired was to recapture a shadow of what had been lost, an echo of what had once been. Will was convinced that if he could only re-establish the bond of blood more strongly, that Hunter would become aware of herself again. He realized, unexpectedly, that he didn’t care if she became aware of him, as long as she returned to some consciousness of her own identity. He didn’t think this human, this emotionally detached professional, could understand that.

Well, if she wanted cold… “Doctor, I realize that you may have some opinions and observations about my—kind—but I can assure you that not all of us are monsters. We can be more capable of common decency than many of the humans in this city. I want to protect that girl, not to prey on her. And you need to recognize that.” He didn’t wait for an answer. He simply walked out of the observation room, not caring what she might have to say, but he could hear the air moving slightly as she shook her head behind him.

As he entered Hunter’s room, he caught the eye of the attendant and sent him out with a gesture. She was sitting in the corner, knees pulled up to her chest, rocking a little and crooning to herself. Her eyes followed him as he crossed the room, tracking his movement, but there was no recognition in them. He smiled at her, trying to keep his eyes kind, his movements slow. As with his previous visits, he spent long minutes approaching her carefully, with the patient stealth of the predator he was, even if he might have rejected the label in this context. Once he had coaxed her into his arms again, it was easier to pretend. To close his eyes and hold her close, to drink in the scent of her skin, to forget where they were, and what she had become. To forget that it was ever and always his fault.

She was quiet, with him, and he would swear that somewhere within her dreams, she remembered his touch, responded to it from deep inside. When they came to tell him that he needed to go, she clung to him, as unwilling to break the contact as he was. The sound of her heartbroken sobs rising into hysteria followed his footsteps, as he knew it would haunt his nights, and he cursed himself. Whatever he said to others, he knew himself for a monster, for a despoiler. All those years ago, Firefly’s pain had ended, he hoped, in his arms, but Hunter…Hunter would have to go on. He had a glimmering of why the doctor had recommended what she had for this broken girl, but Will had been down that road, and he would never face that again.

For tonight, he would have to find solace somewhere, away from the sounds of cries that echoed in these corridors. He walked out blindly into the night, knowing he would seek surcease from pain in the blood of another vulnerable girl, and comfort after that, if she would allow it, in the touch of yet another.

[francis]

I so feel for Will, dealing with Hunter’s demise. He has a lot of humanity, but it hurts. Good chapter, I could feel this.