Sleep (PG-13)
Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:02 am
Disclaimer: I own nothing...darn it.
Note: This is just a quick oneshot...wrote it is just under an hour, so it's far from perfect. But it's been so long since I've posted anything, that I decided to post it anyway. I hope you all like it. Also, this is my first attempt at a first-person FF.
Sleep
I run my hands across the slick, metal framework of my freezer. It’s cold, yet inviting as ever. Popping open the lid, I am greeted by a surge of frigid air. If I were still human, I’d have veered from the freezing blast, its sub-zero temperature stinging my face and hands. But I, a vampire, am now drawn to it. It welcomes me, willing me come closer. My fingers fumble with buttons and buckles as I shed my clothing, allowing the garments to fall carelessly to the floor. Hoisting myself up, I swing my legs over the freezer’s edge and settle inside. Lying back, stretched straight inside the lonely confines of my sanctuary, I feel the familiar coolness wash over my body, soothing. However, I leave the lid of the freezer ajar, not yet ready for sleep. Still, I can already feel my senses beginning to dull, as my eyes grow heavy and my limbs, numb.
When I became a vampire, everything changed. Nothing was left untouched, nothing kept sacred—not even sleep—and even after more than fifty years, I still have not stopped trying to fight the cold darkness that tugs at my weary mind. It is this darkness that is the root of my fears. Sleep for the undead is not filled with pleasant dreams. However, nor is it filled with nightmares. It is nothing but a black cloud that envelopes the mind. It is in this moment, when sleep washes over me, that I cease to be undead. Each day, however, I continue to retreat to my freezer, fear in my heart, but acceptance in my mind that this is part of who I have become.
A pained laugh escapes my lips as I reflect on my situation. I, a vampire, am afraid of sleep. Many years ago, when I was very young, at least in vampire years, I relayed my fears to Josef. I remember how he laughed and taunted me, his voice livid with sarcasm—but despite his laughter, his eyes were sad. I knew then that I was not alone in my fears. However, I learned very quickly after my turning that there are certain issues that vampires never discuss, even amongst ourselves, but rather deal with quietly in the privacy of our own minds—so I never again mentioned my fear of sleep. Not to Josef…not to anyone.
I hear a quiet creaking, so I turn my head slightly and gaze through the frosty glass. I catch a flash of blonde hair and pale skin. Beth. I raise myself into a sitting position, and my eyes follow her as she crosses the room, her naked body luminous under the fluorescent lights. She is now standing beside my freezer, a smile on her lips. I extend a hand to her, which she takes, and I guide her movements as she steps lightly inside my freezer. I lie back down as she quickly gets settled, her back pressed hard against my chest. The space between us is nonexistent. I can sense her need for closeness, so I wrap my arm protectively around her. Brushing her blonde hair from her face, I softly kiss her forehead. She is perfect—like a china doll, her beauty frozen…ageless. A soft, contented sigh escapes her lips, and she is still. I know that sleep has stolen her from me…at least until night falls.
Lying here beside her, I am reminded of a night, long ago when Beth was still a child, and I had sat outside her bedroom window watching her as she slept. Just to makes sure she’s alright, I had told myself. But as I watched her tiny, sleeping form, I was filled with longing for the small sliver of normality that lay before my eyes. However this longing had soon deepened into a sharp pain as I saw her chest rise and fall in a hypnotic rhythm, a smile passing quickly across her lips. I knew then that she was obviously lost in some pleasant dream, and I fled from her window ledge, back into the darkness.
Now, watching her, she is completely still, and her face is emotionless. My heart aches knowing that she will soon be faced with a grim reality. Being but a young fledgling, she does not yet wonder where it is she goes as she descends into the darkness of undead sleep. I have pondered whether or not I should tell her myself, but I decided that some things are best left unsaid. Besides, realization will come soon enough that nothing comes without a price—especially not eternity.
“C’est la vie,” I mutter under my breath, as I reach up to lower the freezer's lid. I then grimace at the bitter irony of my words.
That is life.
Note: This is just a quick oneshot...wrote it is just under an hour, so it's far from perfect. But it's been so long since I've posted anything, that I decided to post it anyway. I hope you all like it. Also, this is my first attempt at a first-person FF.
Sleep
I run my hands across the slick, metal framework of my freezer. It’s cold, yet inviting as ever. Popping open the lid, I am greeted by a surge of frigid air. If I were still human, I’d have veered from the freezing blast, its sub-zero temperature stinging my face and hands. But I, a vampire, am now drawn to it. It welcomes me, willing me come closer. My fingers fumble with buttons and buckles as I shed my clothing, allowing the garments to fall carelessly to the floor. Hoisting myself up, I swing my legs over the freezer’s edge and settle inside. Lying back, stretched straight inside the lonely confines of my sanctuary, I feel the familiar coolness wash over my body, soothing. However, I leave the lid of the freezer ajar, not yet ready for sleep. Still, I can already feel my senses beginning to dull, as my eyes grow heavy and my limbs, numb.
When I became a vampire, everything changed. Nothing was left untouched, nothing kept sacred—not even sleep—and even after more than fifty years, I still have not stopped trying to fight the cold darkness that tugs at my weary mind. It is this darkness that is the root of my fears. Sleep for the undead is not filled with pleasant dreams. However, nor is it filled with nightmares. It is nothing but a black cloud that envelopes the mind. It is in this moment, when sleep washes over me, that I cease to be undead. Each day, however, I continue to retreat to my freezer, fear in my heart, but acceptance in my mind that this is part of who I have become.
A pained laugh escapes my lips as I reflect on my situation. I, a vampire, am afraid of sleep. Many years ago, when I was very young, at least in vampire years, I relayed my fears to Josef. I remember how he laughed and taunted me, his voice livid with sarcasm—but despite his laughter, his eyes were sad. I knew then that I was not alone in my fears. However, I learned very quickly after my turning that there are certain issues that vampires never discuss, even amongst ourselves, but rather deal with quietly in the privacy of our own minds—so I never again mentioned my fear of sleep. Not to Josef…not to anyone.
I hear a quiet creaking, so I turn my head slightly and gaze through the frosty glass. I catch a flash of blonde hair and pale skin. Beth. I raise myself into a sitting position, and my eyes follow her as she crosses the room, her naked body luminous under the fluorescent lights. She is now standing beside my freezer, a smile on her lips. I extend a hand to her, which she takes, and I guide her movements as she steps lightly inside my freezer. I lie back down as she quickly gets settled, her back pressed hard against my chest. The space between us is nonexistent. I can sense her need for closeness, so I wrap my arm protectively around her. Brushing her blonde hair from her face, I softly kiss her forehead. She is perfect—like a china doll, her beauty frozen…ageless. A soft, contented sigh escapes her lips, and she is still. I know that sleep has stolen her from me…at least until night falls.
Lying here beside her, I am reminded of a night, long ago when Beth was still a child, and I had sat outside her bedroom window watching her as she slept. Just to makes sure she’s alright, I had told myself. But as I watched her tiny, sleeping form, I was filled with longing for the small sliver of normality that lay before my eyes. However this longing had soon deepened into a sharp pain as I saw her chest rise and fall in a hypnotic rhythm, a smile passing quickly across her lips. I knew then that she was obviously lost in some pleasant dream, and I fled from her window ledge, back into the darkness.
Now, watching her, she is completely still, and her face is emotionless. My heart aches knowing that she will soon be faced with a grim reality. Being but a young fledgling, she does not yet wonder where it is she goes as she descends into the darkness of undead sleep. I have pondered whether or not I should tell her myself, but I decided that some things are best left unsaid. Besides, realization will come soon enough that nothing comes without a price—especially not eternity.
“C’est la vie,” I mutter under my breath, as I reach up to lower the freezer's lid. I then grimace at the bitter irony of my words.
That is life.