Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by Moonlighter »

redwinter101 wrote:And I hoped someone would appreciate the "something blue" :giggle: .

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Oh, believe me, I did -- almost before I read the lines!! Bad Red, bad, bad Red! :snicker: :whistle: :snicker:
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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by redwinter101 »

dc, that's such lovely feedback - thank you so much. So, you're worried about Mick and you're worried about Josef. No worries for Beth? Just askin'.

Moonlighter, I am irredeemable. :snicker:

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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by coco »

Just had another re-read Red. Still adore it as much as I did on my first read :D
Softly, gently, Beth drew back, brushing her fingers across his face. "Hey." It was all she could manage, and it was enough.

"Hey." Mick touched his forehead to hers, his hands sliding beneath her jacket, stroking circles, tracing rib and spine. He kissed her again, moving from mouth to jaw to throat. He had expected the vampire to roar but his desire was all him, all human. In the fire of her embrace, he felt like a man, a husband once more.
This stood out for me this time and I think it's because the greeting to one another is so simple and yet we know everything that's behind the "hey". For some reason, it's the perfect greeting for them.

And if dc isn't worried for Beth, don't worry because I'm worrying enough about her for this whole board I think :snicker:
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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by redwinter101 »

Ah, coco :smooch:

Thanks so much for the re-read - and that section is my favourite bit. After all their worrying about what to say, how it would be to see each other again, they really only needed one word.

Yeah, I know, I'm hopeless. :roll:

And I'm delighted that at least someone's worrying about Beth :chair:

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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by PNWgal »

Damn it...you'd think I'd learn.

*runs for tissues*

This is one of those rare stories that stays with me for days afterwards - it leaves an indelible mark behind...and this chapter in particular has left a feeling of dread.

If only Mick had kept himself apart, stayed within the fold, safe from the vicious temptations of love, emotion, humanity, none of this would be happening and he wouldn't be stuck in a riptide of betrayal.

I'm not sure what Josef's about, but I have a VERY bad feeling about the bargain he's struck - and I can't help but agree with him that if Mick had just acted like a vampire, none of this would have happened.

Then Mick and Beth - you've built up the anticipation of seeing each other so well, it's like you're almost THERE watching them both count down the minutes.
Dressed in black suit and dark grey shirt, shoes shined to a polish his sergeant major would have approved, hair raked from his face, clean-shaven and clear-eyed, Mick took a final inventory and headed out.
Beth made her final preparations. She sat in front of the mirror, a high colour betraying her nerves, wondering what Mick would see. A year older, a line here, a freckle there.
Both the same, yet so very different.

And this:
He closed his eyes, head tilted; she was close. It wasn't a scent or a sound - he could feel her. Eyes still closed, he started to move, forward, a little to the side, guided by his own magnetic north, his pole star. He stopped, breathing quickened, every nerve alive and aglow. Reaching out, mere inches, his arms circled, drawing her into his embrace. Warmth, life, her, like autumn rain on parched earth, flowing through cracks and crevices, reaching into his corners, washing him clean.
Easily the most beautiful paragraph in a chapter full of them.

I'm actually worried for all three of them - whatever's going to happen, none of them are coming out unaffected.
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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by lynnrxgal »

Redwinter, I just came across this wonderful chapter.. and I'm breathless! All the talented ones have eloquently made comments that were in my head, but I must share what's in my heart. Mick and Beth together like this is so sensuous and by that I meant that all these senses were used: sight, touch, sound, smell and even taste. I agree with Moonlightsonata in that I missed their touching in the last four episodes.

I had tears in my eyes as well and now I am fearful of the next two chapters. Here it has been almost a year in real life that we have not had our Moonlight, and I STILL miss it SO much! Stories like this make me miss it even more!
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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by redwinter101 »

PNWgal, I'm warning you now, the next two chapters are not to be read at work. Alcohol would also be a good plan. Fair warning, k? And this was supposed to be the happy, non-crying chapter! I hope that at least some of the tears were happy ones.

One of the things that made me want to write this story is one of the things you picked up on here - if Mick had behaved like a true vampire, none of this would have happened. Yet for all Josef's frustration and anger at the situation he finds himself in as a result, he knows that this very human predicament is important, and he has a respect for the sanctity of Mick and Beth's love - even if he wishes it weren't so.

And nope, no-one gets out unaffected. No ma'am.

lynnrxgal, have a :hug: - I'm right there with you. That's why I write about these characters - they still inspire me and I miss them so much. Moonlight touched my heart in a way I could never have predicted or expected and I am so glad to have friends far and wide, who understand exactly how that feels. And thank you for your beautiful words about the use of senses here - I think there are some emotions that are just too powerful to put into words so the senses take over.

:rose: :rose: :rose:

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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by PNWgal »

redwinter101 wrote:PNWgal, I'm warning you now, the next two chapters are not to be read at work. Alcohol would also be a good plan. Fair warning, k? And this was supposed to be the happy, non-crying chapter! I hope that at least some of the tears were happy ones.

One of the things that made me want to write this story is one of the things you picked up on here - if Mick had behaved like a true vampire, none of this would have happened. Yet for all Josef's frustration and anger at the situation he finds himself in as a result, he knows that this very human predicament is important, and he has a respect for the sanctity of Mick and Beth's love - even if he wishes it weren't so.

And nope, no-one gets out unaffected. No ma'am.

Happy tears, yes...this was such a moving chapter, and I just KNOW something horrible's going to happen. :eyes:

Warning received and will be heeded, believe me. ;-)
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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by starbucksjunkie »

Oh red.

I thought you were through breaking my heart. I should have known better. :hankie:

Others have already pointed out your breathtaking, magical prose. The reunion. So simple. So poignant. So very Mick and Beth. And for the reader who might have an inkling of what is to come, so very, very bittersweet.

What I glean is such a basic, fundamental, and again, heartbreaking truth. Now is all we have. The exhilarating, breathtaking, heartbreaking now. And you create it like no one has in the ML universe. The fragile beauty of their reunion is like a harsh and beautiful bookend to their farewell. We are with them as they rediscover each other. And we rejoice--and look over their shoulder.

I fear I know where you may be leading us. And I will willingly go. Your story has that power.

Brava, lady. Truly. :rose:
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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by redwinter101 »

sbj, :blushing: :blushing: you humble me with such high praise. "Fragile beauty" is such a wonderful description of Mick and Beth. Thank you. :rose:

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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by francis »

Sigh. I kept this one to read when I had time, cause I needed to savour it.
I love so many sentences in this, especially that:
He closed his eyes, head tilted; she was close. It wasn't a scent or a sound - he could feel her. Eyes still closed, he started to move, forward, a little to the side, guided by his own magnetic north, his pole star. He stopped, breathing quickened, every nerve alive and aglow. Reaching out, mere inches, his arms circled, drawing her into his embrace. Warmth, life, her, like autumn rain on parched earth, flowing through cracks and crevices, reaching into his corners, washing him clean.
And I almost didn't catch the foreboding, it was very very subtle. :snicker:
Your banner is a bit distracting while reading the last paragraphs, by the way. I had to remind myself that he is with Beth. :biggrin:

All in all, I'm :cloud9: and love love love their reunion and how you described their emotions, Mick's, Beth's and Josef's.
Can't wait to read the next chapters, even if you seem to plan on raining on the parade. :mdrama:
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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by redwinter101 »

Thanks, francis. :hearts:

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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by Lupine »

I have read this multiple times, each time with the intention of commenting, since that is the only form of payment I can give you for the wonderful gift of this story. But I've found commenting on this installment very difficult because of it's foreshadowing of doom. My head knows that the muse must be obeyed, but my heart has been torn enough by the demise of these characters last year that it rails against it happening again in any form. And that is my, insufficient though it may be, reason for the lateness of this response.

This story in general and this installment in particular is so powerful. The characters true to their natures and their actions and emotions true to the story line. This is a retelling of Romeo and Juliet with Mick and Beth as equally in love and denied the life they deserve because of outside and petty forces. (Perhaps why my personal preference is for Pride and Prejudice)

There are so many powerful lines in this story:
"You're right. I have been avoiding you." A small smile didn't reach his eyes. He spoke in a near-whisper. "Because I made a mistake. I should never have told you I had a plan until I had all the pieces in place. I've been avoiding you because I didn't know how to tell you that I'm not sure I can pull this off. He held Mick's eye, hoping dishonesty would be mistaken for regret.
Josef does have a plan, it's just not one that he likes, but he has decided it is the only way and that he can live with it. Will he, in the end be able to live with it, and what does it mean for Mick and Beth?
She turned and any thoughts Josef had of warning her, of trying to change what was coming, disappeared. She shone. The woman he had spent the last hours with was gone. The real Beth was back, full of life and hope. Nothing he could do would change that, even if he could bring himself to say the words.
Whatever the ultimate outcome for Mick and Beth this passage shows that permanent separation was not an option - life without each each other was not a life worth living.
"Everything has gone as planned. The clock starts now,"
Too bad it's not like most of the clocks in my house - out of batteries.
He craved the absence of feeling no more. She was here again and he could open himself, let her back in, answer the call of his name on her lips, let go. Up the stairs at a steady pace, no longer any need to rush, the memories of their stolen moments banished.
In a few simple words you powerfully convey Mick's emotional struggle over the last year.
So long apart, they were finally home.
Just beautiful!
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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by redwinter101 »

Lupine, believe me, any payment due has now been settled in full - what a wonderful, beautiful comment. This story is actually very loosely based on a well-known story - but it's not Romeo and Juliet or P & P (I will reveal all once the story's finished).

After splitting Mick and Beth up for a whole year, I tried so hard to make their reunion fitting and adequate for what they'd been through - and I'm so happy that came through to you.

Thank you again. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the feedback.

Red :heart:
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Re: Afterglow, part ten (M/B/J, PG-13)

Post by JJRose »

"Warmth, life, her, like autumn rain on parched earth, flowing through cracks and crevices, reaching into his corners, washing him clean."

Beautiful. So incredibly, vividly beautiful.

Finally I get a chance to come back here and catch up with this. And now I'm terrified that you're going to rip my guts out in the next chapter. But at least you'll do it poetically, as only you can...
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