Champagne Challenge#104 Cluedo Bottled Blood for Josef PG-13
Posted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 4:03 am
I do not own any recognizable characters. No copyright infringement intended. This is my answer to the Cluedo challenge. It's a comedy more of a farce.
Mick let me offer you a drink. Josef opened the small refrigerator in his study and pours two glasses of A positive.
Josef why are you getting your blood from a refrigerator?
Manners Mick. If my guest wants to drink cold battery acid, I shouldn’t let him drink alone. You can call me a lot of things but rude is not one of them.
Josef, when I come over here there are usually four or five freshies within shouting distance. I have never seen you drink blood from a bottle in your own home. What’s going on?
They have the night off.
All of them. But I see different girls on different days. There’s a schedule they can’t all be off. What’s going on?
All right if you must know they’re on strike.
Strike??? Is it the sweat shop environment they work in around here or have they finally decided that your dress code is sexist?
Do you remember Brian Murphy? Josef asked.
Yeah, I met him a few times at your poker games. Has he relocated to LA?
No. But he was in LA and got called up to Seattle for business. He didn’t want to leave his freshies alone at the hotel so he asked me to babysit.
What happened?
They’re decorative Mick. But they don’t have anything going on upstairs.
Unlike your brain surgeons.
You call me sexist. Just because women don’t wear a lot of clothes doesn’t mean they aren’t intelligent. All my regular girls have either graduated or are going to college. I’m not sure Brian’s went to high school, let alone finished.
So tell me about the battle of the freshies.
Well they’ve been driving my girls crazy. They’re every blonde bunny stereotype. Even their names Bambi and Barbie.
The last straw was when they wanted to go out with Natasha today. She’s an art history major, doing her thesis on Van Gogh. She told them she was going to The Getty Center to see Irises. They wanted to go. They thought they “got” things there.
You’re kidding.
I wish I was. Bambi and Barbie were very upset when they found out it was a museum. They told Natasha they wanted to leave. She offered to call the limo for them, but then they said they wanted to look at the Irises. Natasha brings them to where the painting is. Bambi pulls a watering can out of her tote bag and says loudly Well if it’s a picture we won’t need this.
Natasha was mortified. She decided to drive them back herself. When they got outside, they saw the ice cream man. She told me they screamed like three year olds. She bought them ice cream and they said Brian never lets them buy from the ice cream man.
Why?
Because the ice cream men are vampire slayers. Josef said.
Vampire slayers???
They have weapons. The wooden sticks from the ice cream pops.
My head hurts. Mick said.
Natasha spoke to the rest of the girls. They decided if I made them stay with Bambi and Barbie one more minute it would be abuse and they would go on strike.
I told them I gave Brian my word that his freshies could stay in my home until he returned.
So?
So I told the girls that I would not tolerate a strike. Especially since I had just decided to give them a week off at the Beverly Wilshire.
Mick let me offer you a drink. Josef opened the small refrigerator in his study and pours two glasses of A positive.
Josef why are you getting your blood from a refrigerator?
Manners Mick. If my guest wants to drink cold battery acid, I shouldn’t let him drink alone. You can call me a lot of things but rude is not one of them.
Josef, when I come over here there are usually four or five freshies within shouting distance. I have never seen you drink blood from a bottle in your own home. What’s going on?
They have the night off.
All of them. But I see different girls on different days. There’s a schedule they can’t all be off. What’s going on?
All right if you must know they’re on strike.
Strike??? Is it the sweat shop environment they work in around here or have they finally decided that your dress code is sexist?
Do you remember Brian Murphy? Josef asked.
Yeah, I met him a few times at your poker games. Has he relocated to LA?
No. But he was in LA and got called up to Seattle for business. He didn’t want to leave his freshies alone at the hotel so he asked me to babysit.
What happened?
They’re decorative Mick. But they don’t have anything going on upstairs.
Unlike your brain surgeons.
You call me sexist. Just because women don’t wear a lot of clothes doesn’t mean they aren’t intelligent. All my regular girls have either graduated or are going to college. I’m not sure Brian’s went to high school, let alone finished.
So tell me about the battle of the freshies.
Well they’ve been driving my girls crazy. They’re every blonde bunny stereotype. Even their names Bambi and Barbie.
The last straw was when they wanted to go out with Natasha today. She’s an art history major, doing her thesis on Van Gogh. She told them she was going to The Getty Center to see Irises. They wanted to go. They thought they “got” things there.
You’re kidding.
I wish I was. Bambi and Barbie were very upset when they found out it was a museum. They told Natasha they wanted to leave. She offered to call the limo for them, but then they said they wanted to look at the Irises. Natasha brings them to where the painting is. Bambi pulls a watering can out of her tote bag and says loudly Well if it’s a picture we won’t need this.
Natasha was mortified. She decided to drive them back herself. When they got outside, they saw the ice cream man. She told me they screamed like three year olds. She bought them ice cream and they said Brian never lets them buy from the ice cream man.
Why?
Because the ice cream men are vampire slayers. Josef said.
Vampire slayers???
They have weapons. The wooden sticks from the ice cream pops.
My head hurts. Mick said.
Natasha spoke to the rest of the girls. They decided if I made them stay with Bambi and Barbie one more minute it would be abuse and they would go on strike.
I told them I gave Brian my word that his freshies could stay in my home until he returned.
So?
So I told the girls that I would not tolerate a strike. Especially since I had just decided to give them a week off at the Beverly Wilshire.
I love Josef.