Josef Can Keep A Secret PG-13
Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 3:14 am
I do not own any recognizable characters. No copyright infringement is intended. Conversations between Beth and Josef from episodes are in bold print.
I get strange ideas sometimes. This is one of them.
2008
Well then you know how I’m going to handle it.
Mick has protected me, saved me more times than I can count.
And you’re returning the favor.
Just don’t tell him we’re doing this.
I can keep a secret.
I’d have done it even if she didn’t ask but I do owe you Beth.
Beth has no idea how well I can keep secrets.
2007
Why did Coraline choose me?
Maybe she thought she could put a little family together and settle down. You know like the woman who gets pregnant to save a bad marriage.
You specifically were probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
1985
Ring! Josef picks up his private line.
Good evening.
Where is he????
Please identify yourself.
Josef, you know who I am.
I also know you were raised in an era when manners still existed.
Coraline Duvall St. John
Mrs. St. John what can I do for you?
Where is my husband?
That’s not my concern.
But I’m sure you know.
If I see him, I will let him know his wife wishes to speak with him.
He won’t see me. He won’t take my calls. I don’t know what to do.
Perhaps you should give him some time to determine his future.
I gave him his future. He’s still complaining about our wedding night.
I’m surprised you didn’t satisfy him my dear. I’ve never heard of anyone complaining about you in that department.
Josef, he’s still upset that he’s not human. Do you know what he said last week?
“I could be collecting Social Security and playing with my grandchildren.” Instead I’m a bloodsucking monster with no one.
Pity you can’t get pregnant.
Thank you Josef. Coraline hung up the phone.
I had no idea my flippant remark would change the lives of three people.
After the fire.
Josef I killed her. I killed Coraline.
What happened?
She had kidnapped a child. A child she was going to bring into this life. I had no choice. I staked and burned her.
Very little surprised me in 375 years but this just floored me. I said aloud. You did what you had to do. It’s not appropriate to turn a child.
Appropriate???? How about monstrous, demented and sick?
Maybe just desperate, Mick.
Don’t tell me you feel sorry for Coraline! It’s my fault. I said something about grandchildren.
It’s not your fault. She wanted to save her marriage. When people are desperate they can do horrible things. I said
How could Coraline do something so unforgivable? How does someone even come up with such an idea?
I honestly don’t know Mick. But the girl’s safe, you’re free and Coraline is at peace. You need to put it behind you.
I get strange ideas sometimes. This is one of them.
2008
Well then you know how I’m going to handle it.
Mick has protected me, saved me more times than I can count.
And you’re returning the favor.
Just don’t tell him we’re doing this.
I can keep a secret.
I’d have done it even if she didn’t ask but I do owe you Beth.
Beth has no idea how well I can keep secrets.
2007
Why did Coraline choose me?
Maybe she thought she could put a little family together and settle down. You know like the woman who gets pregnant to save a bad marriage.
You specifically were probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
1985
Ring! Josef picks up his private line.
Good evening.
Where is he????
Please identify yourself.
Josef, you know who I am.
I also know you were raised in an era when manners still existed.
Coraline Duvall St. John
Mrs. St. John what can I do for you?
Where is my husband?
That’s not my concern.
But I’m sure you know.
If I see him, I will let him know his wife wishes to speak with him.
He won’t see me. He won’t take my calls. I don’t know what to do.
Perhaps you should give him some time to determine his future.
I gave him his future. He’s still complaining about our wedding night.
I’m surprised you didn’t satisfy him my dear. I’ve never heard of anyone complaining about you in that department.
Josef, he’s still upset that he’s not human. Do you know what he said last week?
“I could be collecting Social Security and playing with my grandchildren.” Instead I’m a bloodsucking monster with no one.
Pity you can’t get pregnant.
Thank you Josef. Coraline hung up the phone.
I had no idea my flippant remark would change the lives of three people.
After the fire.
Josef I killed her. I killed Coraline.
What happened?
She had kidnapped a child. A child she was going to bring into this life. I had no choice. I staked and burned her.
Very little surprised me in 375 years but this just floored me. I said aloud. You did what you had to do. It’s not appropriate to turn a child.
Appropriate???? How about monstrous, demented and sick?
Maybe just desperate, Mick.
Don’t tell me you feel sorry for Coraline! It’s my fault. I said something about grandchildren.
It’s not your fault. She wanted to save her marriage. When people are desperate they can do horrible things. I said
How could Coraline do something so unforgivable? How does someone even come up with such an idea?
I honestly don’t know Mick. But the girl’s safe, you’re free and Coraline is at peace. You need to put it behind you.
I got chills! 
