Into Dust (PG-13)
Posted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 11:27 pm
Title: Into Dust
Author: redwinter101
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Moonlight or any of its characters
Note: This is not a darkfic - by my definition - but it IS sad, so only read on if you're prepared to be depressed.
Grace, don't read this. I'm breaking a promise.
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--- Into Dust ---
The music wraps around me, carries me and I let myself drift, feel your fingers closing, holding. Your touch opened my soul. You crept in and held me; we were together, inseparable, connected. I can still feel you, my body responds even though I know you're gone. Everything I am now, is you. My spirit, my body, bone and blood, is you. My hopes and fears, are you. My past, present and future, are you. My life, my death, us.
I can sense you. Not just in me, but in this place, our home. Every angle a view of you, a snapshot, a turn, a flash of smile, a golden gleam as you move. In every room, every corner, I can surround myself with you. Climbing to the bedroom, for the first time today the tears come, falling freely. The most private of all our places, here, we showed ourselves to each other and you taught me how to love.
A minor chord, redolent with melancholy; this was our melody played out across time and space, a constant reminder there is no joy so great as one that seemed impossible. We both knew it, felt it, pushed it away, accepted it. We were never meant to be. But we were. And now, alone, I finally understand the meaning of a lifetime.
Acceptance was long-fought and hard-won, you would live and die and I would go on. Childish dreams of everlasting life had no place here. To the world we remained as we had always been; you, the woman who took my heart, living, ageing, and I, the man who would always have the face of youth, my ancient fears hidden from all but you. But we changed every day, growing old in each other's arms, confounding ourselves, finding peace and joy, our own version of happily ever after, a lifetime of love.
It's time to say goodbye to this place. I will not return. I must leave Josef too, my only regret. The note is cowardly but I can't face him. I can't face another goodbye. He won't understand, but he'll forgive.
The drive is almost a dream, the cool, evening hush of a city taking pause between day and night. Sweet, sharp memory pulls me to you as I draw nearer, nearer, every moment we shared captured, revered, precious beyond measure. I will tell you again tonight of my love and loss and joy and sorrow and I will hear your whispers of comfort.
The cemetery is locked and bare and we are alone, together. The earth cannot divide us, a physical barrier no more meaningful than death itself. This is home now, because you are here and I feel the last cares slip away. Through the tranquility of night I sit with you. I have shed my tears, expended my grief; I am finished.
I am here, my life, my love, forever.
I must break my promise to you, made on so many days over so many years. I can go on without you, but I will not. I choose not. If God is merciful, I will touch you again. If not, this is how it must be. My lifetime is complete and I have reached my end. Forgive me.
In the quiet glade I lie down. I can see you through the trees, but I will not be disturbed. Clear-eyed, content, expectant, I feel you holding me. It's time, my love. As the first rays dapple the ground I can enjoy the warmth at last.
Author: redwinter101
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Moonlight or any of its characters
Note: This is not a darkfic - by my definition - but it IS sad, so only read on if you're prepared to be depressed.
Grace, don't read this. I'm breaking a promise.
***************************************************************************************************************
--- Into Dust ---
The music wraps around me, carries me and I let myself drift, feel your fingers closing, holding. Your touch opened my soul. You crept in and held me; we were together, inseparable, connected. I can still feel you, my body responds even though I know you're gone. Everything I am now, is you. My spirit, my body, bone and blood, is you. My hopes and fears, are you. My past, present and future, are you. My life, my death, us.
I can sense you. Not just in me, but in this place, our home. Every angle a view of you, a snapshot, a turn, a flash of smile, a golden gleam as you move. In every room, every corner, I can surround myself with you. Climbing to the bedroom, for the first time today the tears come, falling freely. The most private of all our places, here, we showed ourselves to each other and you taught me how to love.
A minor chord, redolent with melancholy; this was our melody played out across time and space, a constant reminder there is no joy so great as one that seemed impossible. We both knew it, felt it, pushed it away, accepted it. We were never meant to be. But we were. And now, alone, I finally understand the meaning of a lifetime.
Acceptance was long-fought and hard-won, you would live and die and I would go on. Childish dreams of everlasting life had no place here. To the world we remained as we had always been; you, the woman who took my heart, living, ageing, and I, the man who would always have the face of youth, my ancient fears hidden from all but you. But we changed every day, growing old in each other's arms, confounding ourselves, finding peace and joy, our own version of happily ever after, a lifetime of love.
It's time to say goodbye to this place. I will not return. I must leave Josef too, my only regret. The note is cowardly but I can't face him. I can't face another goodbye. He won't understand, but he'll forgive.
The drive is almost a dream, the cool, evening hush of a city taking pause between day and night. Sweet, sharp memory pulls me to you as I draw nearer, nearer, every moment we shared captured, revered, precious beyond measure. I will tell you again tonight of my love and loss and joy and sorrow and I will hear your whispers of comfort.
The cemetery is locked and bare and we are alone, together. The earth cannot divide us, a physical barrier no more meaningful than death itself. This is home now, because you are here and I feel the last cares slip away. Through the tranquility of night I sit with you. I have shed my tears, expended my grief; I am finished.
I am here, my life, my love, forever.
I must break my promise to you, made on so many days over so many years. I can go on without you, but I will not. I choose not. If God is merciful, I will touch you again. If not, this is how it must be. My lifetime is complete and I have reached my end. Forgive me.
In the quiet glade I lie down. I can see you through the trees, but I will not be disturbed. Clear-eyed, content, expectant, I feel you holding me. It's time, my love. As the first rays dapple the ground I can enjoy the warmth at last.
... fingers in ears... eyes closed... lalalalalalalalalalalalala! 
for Grace. Wise choice, sweetie.
Heart-breakingly lovely is SO how I feel about Mick and Beth. 