Understanding (PG-13) Mick's re-turning from Josef's POV
Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 1:21 pm
This was a challenge to write first person POV. I chose Josef. He is a bit whiny here, but he assured me it was okay to tell you about his thoughts. 
Disclaimer: I don’t own this, but make no money from it.
Why, brother?
Why do you ask this of me?
Don’t you understand what this means to me?
You don’t.
You didn’t understand what it would mean to me when you became human again.
You didn’t understand what it cost me to lie about the cure. Because I knew about it.
And I denied it, denied you, because I didn’t want to lose you.
And while you were out playing human with your Beth, I was alone.
No office. No friend. No Sarah. And the still open wound of having to explain her to you.
I couldn’t even thank you properly for saving my life. Twice. Not even counting the blood in your fridge that helped me recover after the explosion. I couldn’t thank you, because you were angry with me. And you were right. I was careless. Almost like a human.
Don’t you understand how catching your humanity is?
That being around you for almost 50 years makes me want?
That the hardest thing about being 400 years old is to find excuses to live on?
That now that you are my friend I have all the excuses I need?
That I want to live because you are so utterly unpredictable and incongruent, moral, violent, passionate, guilt-ridden, caring, heartless, cruel and softspoken.
You are the mirror I need to get a grip,
the friend who sometimes pretends to need my advice just to make me feel valuable,
the reason I started to be interested in human life again.
You ground me. You floor me. You earthen me.
And all this makes it impossible to deny you what you want.
You wanted to be human, and I couldn’t begrudge you when you got it.
You now want to be vampire again, for her, and I cannot deny you.
If only…
If only you would want to be a vampire just a little bit because of me.
It would mean so much for me if you just acknowledged that you knew what you mean to me.
I am not jealous of Beth, at least not in any romantic way.
But I am jealous of your friendship with her.
Because you never would make such a sacrifice for me.
And you don’t take me into your life like you used to do before her.
I startle, suddenly aware of how spiteful my feelings become.
All this is going through my head while I drain you, and I should pay more attention.
This is your life in my hands.
I said „Forgive me“, but I didn’t say for what.
Now that your blood flows into me, I realize.
You know.
You understand.
And you care for me.
It’s in the tear that flows across your face when I lay you down on your table.
I feed you my blood, and try to convey what you mean to me.
You lick your lips, you feed, you get up, you smile a fangy smile at me.
I am at peace.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The very talented diane31 made my story into a slideshow and added screencaps that make the story into something even better! Check it out here in this blog:
http://moonlight-illustrated-fanfics.bl ... ancis.html
You can also download it as a PPT-file here:
http://www.4shared.com/file/152459813/b ... nload.html
Disclaimer: I don’t own this, but make no money from it.
Why, brother?
Why do you ask this of me?
Don’t you understand what this means to me?
You don’t.
You didn’t understand what it would mean to me when you became human again.
You didn’t understand what it cost me to lie about the cure. Because I knew about it.
And I denied it, denied you, because I didn’t want to lose you.
And while you were out playing human with your Beth, I was alone.
No office. No friend. No Sarah. And the still open wound of having to explain her to you.
I couldn’t even thank you properly for saving my life. Twice. Not even counting the blood in your fridge that helped me recover after the explosion. I couldn’t thank you, because you were angry with me. And you were right. I was careless. Almost like a human.
Don’t you understand how catching your humanity is?
That being around you for almost 50 years makes me want?
That the hardest thing about being 400 years old is to find excuses to live on?
That now that you are my friend I have all the excuses I need?
That I want to live because you are so utterly unpredictable and incongruent, moral, violent, passionate, guilt-ridden, caring, heartless, cruel and softspoken.
You are the mirror I need to get a grip,
the friend who sometimes pretends to need my advice just to make me feel valuable,
the reason I started to be interested in human life again.
You ground me. You floor me. You earthen me.
And all this makes it impossible to deny you what you want.
You wanted to be human, and I couldn’t begrudge you when you got it.
You now want to be vampire again, for her, and I cannot deny you.
If only…
If only you would want to be a vampire just a little bit because of me.
It would mean so much for me if you just acknowledged that you knew what you mean to me.
I am not jealous of Beth, at least not in any romantic way.
But I am jealous of your friendship with her.
Because you never would make such a sacrifice for me.
And you don’t take me into your life like you used to do before her.
I startle, suddenly aware of how spiteful my feelings become.
All this is going through my head while I drain you, and I should pay more attention.
This is your life in my hands.
I said „Forgive me“, but I didn’t say for what.
Now that your blood flows into me, I realize.
You know.
You understand.
And you care for me.
It’s in the tear that flows across your face when I lay you down on your table.
I feed you my blood, and try to convey what you mean to me.
You lick your lips, you feed, you get up, you smile a fangy smile at me.
I am at peace.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The very talented diane31 made my story into a slideshow and added screencaps that make the story into something even better! Check it out here in this blog:
http://moonlight-illustrated-fanfics.bl ... ancis.html
You can also download it as a PPT-file here:
http://www.4shared.com/file/152459813/b ... nload.html
and I go, "Of course!!!"
