Why - a One shot - PG 1/2/10
Posted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 11:05 pm
Hi everyone! 
Well, this is my first fanfic, and I can honestly say that I never thought I would ever write one. I seem to have a very capricious muse lol!!! I also suspect that this is a theme which must have been explored already, so, I apologize if it resembles someone else's work too closely: that was unintentional on my part.
I have made an illustrated version of it in the form of a slideshow, so if you would like to read it in that form here is the link.
Hope you enjoy!
I don't own Moonlight or any of the characters.
Rating is PG
Why
At last, he was at peace. At last, he could trust again. Even in himself…
He had just loved her, and she was now asleep in the trusted safety of his arms. Never had he felt so close to anyone before… and so pure. He almost felt human again, he pondered, smiling with melancholy. He watched her sleep as one would watch a miracle, in disbelief and awe. Familiar feelings invaded him, now deeper, stronger than ever before.
He leaned closer, his lips almost brushing against hers, soft eyes filled with wonder intensely staring onto hers, straining to see through them right into her soul. In the faintest murmur, he breathed out softly:
I will never let anything happen to you. I will protect you forever… I will love you forev…
He stopped with a start. Shivers raced down his spine as his last words echoed in his mind. Yet he exhaled in a nervous chuckle, and felt a half-smile form on his lips. His horror had already dissipated, he realized with surprise and wonder. At last, he no longer feared the memory of those words…
… those fateful words that had sent his entire world crumbling down, shattering everything he had ever known and cherished; … those innocent words, so natural for one as deeply in love to concede. So genuine, so sincere… so naïve. Which he had been punished so brutally for daring to utter. Betrayed. He no longer loved her now, he was sure of it, yet the memory still hurt.
How could she do this to me? I would never do this to my worst enemy.
Yet he smiled again. Watching Beth asleep in his arms, love and trust beaming through her peaceful features, he felt whole again. The nightmare was over now. He was alive again… happy again… redeemed... loved.
Emboldened by his nascent serenity, lured by a longing for closure, he let his thoughts drift back to That Night.
That Darkest of Nights, a lifetime ago, when reality ripped into nightmare. That Night which had haunted him ever since. He gently let his mind sink into the memories of how it had begun, slowly soaking in the feelings they evoked…
Bliss. Burning, unbearable, insane bliss… Naïve and arrogant bliss. Knowing he would be this happy tomorrow, and the day after, and the one after that one… for weeks and months and years to come… for the rest of his life… for longer than his mortal mind could possibly fathom… forever.
Ever since That Night, for all those decades, he had known for a fact that he would never feel that way again. No matter how many centuries he lived.
And yet there he was.
I have never felt this happy. Never, not even then. I have never loved anyone like this. Not even her.
He brought his lips to his angel's and brushed on the softest kiss, too faint to reach her in her dreams. Barely touching her, he caressed her face with his, slowly inhaling the scent of her skin, and her love for him even as she slept. He looked at her… so beautiful, so soft… her gentle breaths scarcely disturbing her delicate features. So human, so fragile… so mortal.
I will never let anyone hurt her.
The mere thought made him sick to his stomach. Before he knew it, his mind begun to explore what it might feel like if he ever had to experience the unthinkable… losing her. He had never truly considered that eventuality, so unbearable it was. He never really believed that it could happen. Not that he believed himself powerful enough to prevent it, but somehow, even after everything else, he could not fathom that the Universe could be so cruel. Not towards her, anyway… not towards one so pure to have saved even him, surely… He felt his eyes fill with tears. She was so fragile… a stray bullet, an accident… Certainly, that was not likely, he reminded himself with failing conviction. All right, so it was possible, but not likely, not with him there to protect her.
I will never let anything happen to you.
Of course, he knew that someday… Another wave of nausea coursed through his stomach. Again, he immediately began grasping at familiar thought patterns to suppress it.
It doesn't matter, I'll always know she loved me. She will have lived a happy, full life, with me; experienced the best in life, the only thing that really matters, true love. With me, thanks to me... I'll always know that… I'll always have that. And anyway, it doesn't matter right now, we still have decades ahead of us… That's a long, long time.
But the truth forced its way through.
No, it's not.
Pain and terror flooded him, unstoppable. Unbearable.
Suddenly both horror and relief struck. He understood.
That's why she did it.
Well, this is my first fanfic, and I can honestly say that I never thought I would ever write one. I seem to have a very capricious muse lol!!! I also suspect that this is a theme which must have been explored already, so, I apologize if it resembles someone else's work too closely: that was unintentional on my part.
I have made an illustrated version of it in the form of a slideshow, so if you would like to read it in that form here is the link.
Hope you enjoy!
I don't own Moonlight or any of the characters.
Rating is PG
Why
At last, he was at peace. At last, he could trust again. Even in himself…
He had just loved her, and she was now asleep in the trusted safety of his arms. Never had he felt so close to anyone before… and so pure. He almost felt human again, he pondered, smiling with melancholy. He watched her sleep as one would watch a miracle, in disbelief and awe. Familiar feelings invaded him, now deeper, stronger than ever before.
He leaned closer, his lips almost brushing against hers, soft eyes filled with wonder intensely staring onto hers, straining to see through them right into her soul. In the faintest murmur, he breathed out softly:
I will never let anything happen to you. I will protect you forever… I will love you forev…
He stopped with a start. Shivers raced down his spine as his last words echoed in his mind. Yet he exhaled in a nervous chuckle, and felt a half-smile form on his lips. His horror had already dissipated, he realized with surprise and wonder. At last, he no longer feared the memory of those words…
… those fateful words that had sent his entire world crumbling down, shattering everything he had ever known and cherished; … those innocent words, so natural for one as deeply in love to concede. So genuine, so sincere… so naïve. Which he had been punished so brutally for daring to utter. Betrayed. He no longer loved her now, he was sure of it, yet the memory still hurt.
How could she do this to me? I would never do this to my worst enemy.
Yet he smiled again. Watching Beth asleep in his arms, love and trust beaming through her peaceful features, he felt whole again. The nightmare was over now. He was alive again… happy again… redeemed... loved.
Emboldened by his nascent serenity, lured by a longing for closure, he let his thoughts drift back to That Night.
That Darkest of Nights, a lifetime ago, when reality ripped into nightmare. That Night which had haunted him ever since. He gently let his mind sink into the memories of how it had begun, slowly soaking in the feelings they evoked…
Bliss. Burning, unbearable, insane bliss… Naïve and arrogant bliss. Knowing he would be this happy tomorrow, and the day after, and the one after that one… for weeks and months and years to come… for the rest of his life… for longer than his mortal mind could possibly fathom… forever.
Ever since That Night, for all those decades, he had known for a fact that he would never feel that way again. No matter how many centuries he lived.
And yet there he was.
I have never felt this happy. Never, not even then. I have never loved anyone like this. Not even her.
He brought his lips to his angel's and brushed on the softest kiss, too faint to reach her in her dreams. Barely touching her, he caressed her face with his, slowly inhaling the scent of her skin, and her love for him even as she slept. He looked at her… so beautiful, so soft… her gentle breaths scarcely disturbing her delicate features. So human, so fragile… so mortal.
I will never let anyone hurt her.
The mere thought made him sick to his stomach. Before he knew it, his mind begun to explore what it might feel like if he ever had to experience the unthinkable… losing her. He had never truly considered that eventuality, so unbearable it was. He never really believed that it could happen. Not that he believed himself powerful enough to prevent it, but somehow, even after everything else, he could not fathom that the Universe could be so cruel. Not towards her, anyway… not towards one so pure to have saved even him, surely… He felt his eyes fill with tears. She was so fragile… a stray bullet, an accident… Certainly, that was not likely, he reminded himself with failing conviction. All right, so it was possible, but not likely, not with him there to protect her.
I will never let anything happen to you.
Of course, he knew that someday… Another wave of nausea coursed through his stomach. Again, he immediately began grasping at familiar thought patterns to suppress it.
It doesn't matter, I'll always know she loved me. She will have lived a happy, full life, with me; experienced the best in life, the only thing that really matters, true love. With me, thanks to me... I'll always know that… I'll always have that. And anyway, it doesn't matter right now, we still have decades ahead of us… That's a long, long time.
But the truth forced its way through.
No, it's not.
Pain and terror flooded him, unstoppable. Unbearable.
Suddenly both horror and relief struck. He understood.
That's why she did it.
You should definetly go on with writing. You're a big talent. Love your style and the way you make the emotions so palpable for the reader! Thank you a lot for the story. 
You are a wonderful writer. I can't believe this is your first fic. So Mick finally understands the motivation. This time at least he and Beth will do it right, with full disclosure and mutual consent, with no regret on Beth's part. Beautiful.... 
