Josef versus Beth (rated G)
Posted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 3:38 pm
Written for the Champagne Challenge #114
The first sentence was written by allegrita, who graciously allowed me to use it. I hope you like it.
Thanks to francis for translating the story!
Josef versus Beth
Mick opened the door and knew instantly that something wasn't right. Carefully he bumped the door to open wide and froze at the sight his home greeted him with.
„Wonderful!“, he sighed and entered fully. What in the world had happened here? His apartment was totally ruined, furniture and windows broken, one of the walls had an enormous crack. He was interrupted in the contemplation of the chaos by his wife storming down the staircase and throwing herself into his frame.
“Hey Mick, there you finally are!”, was the exuberant greeting of the blonde vampiress.
“Hello Beth”, he greeted her back and wrenched himself slowly from her hug. He studied first her and then again the chaos around them. “Did you do that?” he asked finally.
“Hmm, yes, in a matter… sorry about the little disruption.”, she apologized quickly and started to study her nails intensively.
Mick almost laughed. „Little disruption? Beth, our new flat is practically a ruin. What happened?“ he asked almost desperately.
She rolled her eyes. „It wasn’t my fault, really.“ she said and tried to attach her best puppy dog smile. Mick just shook his head.
“All right, I’m gonna tell you.”, she sighed.
A little earlier that evening:
„I don’t think that this is a good idea,“ Beth again voiced her concerns and placed herself opposite Josef.
“Beth, believe me, I have a little bit more experience in these things than you.“, he calmly answered her.
“Yeah, okay. Just because you’ve been in business a few decades more than me, doesn’t mean you are always right.”, she said almost defiantly. “Why do you always feel like you have to be right?”
“Because first of all I’m older and have more experience than you, perhaps?” he answered back a little bemused.
“It’s my business.”
“And it’s almost bankrupt.“
„I’d sell it rather to my worst enemy than to you.“, she hissed.
He raises his eyebrows. “Really? How interesting. But now to the point, Beth. I have always warned you that you are too nice to your employees, they just aren’t working enough. If they had more respect of you, they would work much harder, believe me.”
“My employees have respect of me! I just don’t try to install fear and terrify them all the time, like you are doing. And I’m not sitting in a swivel chair all the time and give instructions, like certain other people do.”
„I’m not sitting in a swivel chair all day and just give instructions.“, Josef protested.
“Really? I bet you are rusty already from sitting around so much. I mean, when was the last time you were fighting like a vampire?” Beth gathered momentum now.
„You really shouldn’t challenge me!“ he said almost menacing.
“So what? Whoever wins will be given full authorization to dictate the future of the business.
„You really want to take that risk?”, he asked.
“Yes, I want to.”, she said confidently.
„You are rather sure of yourself.“
“Mick and I have been living in China the last few years and I have picked up some martial arts along the way.”, she answered and grinned.
“A vampire of not even 100 years has no chance against me anyway”, he said self-assuredly.
“Do you want to test this theory?”, Beth asked with a sugar sweet voice.
Josef stood up and snarled.
Mick raises his eyebrows questioningly. “You challenged him in earnest?”
She nodded yes.
“What happened then?“
She shrugged. „We had been fighting a little bit and then five minutes ago I threw him through the window of the living room, since then I haven’t seen him.“
Mick’s eyes were wide with shock. “You threw Josef through the window?”, he asked incredulously.
“Yes, I have.”, she answered calmly, as if she would throw a 500 years old vampire through a window every day.
Mick groaned. „Besides the fact that you threw Josef through the window, how will you explain to the landlord here in Vancouver that we need a total renovation of our flat after only two weeks?“
Beth rolled her eyes. “You can ask Josef, he’s the one with more than enough money. And he…”
she stopped and faced the door.
Mick turned around and could just throw himself out of the way before a furious Josef came through the door like a missile to launch himself at Beth.
The End.
The first sentence was written by allegrita, who graciously allowed me to use it. I hope you like it.
Thanks to francis for translating the story!
Josef versus Beth
Mick opened the door and knew instantly that something wasn't right. Carefully he bumped the door to open wide and froze at the sight his home greeted him with.
„Wonderful!“, he sighed and entered fully. What in the world had happened here? His apartment was totally ruined, furniture and windows broken, one of the walls had an enormous crack. He was interrupted in the contemplation of the chaos by his wife storming down the staircase and throwing herself into his frame.
“Hey Mick, there you finally are!”, was the exuberant greeting of the blonde vampiress.
“Hello Beth”, he greeted her back and wrenched himself slowly from her hug. He studied first her and then again the chaos around them. “Did you do that?” he asked finally.
“Hmm, yes, in a matter… sorry about the little disruption.”, she apologized quickly and started to study her nails intensively.
Mick almost laughed. „Little disruption? Beth, our new flat is practically a ruin. What happened?“ he asked almost desperately.
She rolled her eyes. „It wasn’t my fault, really.“ she said and tried to attach her best puppy dog smile. Mick just shook his head.
“All right, I’m gonna tell you.”, she sighed.
A little earlier that evening:
„I don’t think that this is a good idea,“ Beth again voiced her concerns and placed herself opposite Josef.
“Beth, believe me, I have a little bit more experience in these things than you.“, he calmly answered her.
“Yeah, okay. Just because you’ve been in business a few decades more than me, doesn’t mean you are always right.”, she said almost defiantly. “Why do you always feel like you have to be right?”
“Because first of all I’m older and have more experience than you, perhaps?” he answered back a little bemused.
“It’s my business.”
“And it’s almost bankrupt.“
„I’d sell it rather to my worst enemy than to you.“, she hissed.
He raises his eyebrows. “Really? How interesting. But now to the point, Beth. I have always warned you that you are too nice to your employees, they just aren’t working enough. If they had more respect of you, they would work much harder, believe me.”
“My employees have respect of me! I just don’t try to install fear and terrify them all the time, like you are doing. And I’m not sitting in a swivel chair all the time and give instructions, like certain other people do.”
„I’m not sitting in a swivel chair all day and just give instructions.“, Josef protested.
“Really? I bet you are rusty already from sitting around so much. I mean, when was the last time you were fighting like a vampire?” Beth gathered momentum now.
„You really shouldn’t challenge me!“ he said almost menacing.
“So what? Whoever wins will be given full authorization to dictate the future of the business.
„You really want to take that risk?”, he asked.
“Yes, I want to.”, she said confidently.
„You are rather sure of yourself.“
“Mick and I have been living in China the last few years and I have picked up some martial arts along the way.”, she answered and grinned.
“A vampire of not even 100 years has no chance against me anyway”, he said self-assuredly.
“Do you want to test this theory?”, Beth asked with a sugar sweet voice.
Josef stood up and snarled.
Mick raises his eyebrows questioningly. “You challenged him in earnest?”
She nodded yes.
“What happened then?“
She shrugged. „We had been fighting a little bit and then five minutes ago I threw him through the window of the living room, since then I haven’t seen him.“
Mick’s eyes were wide with shock. “You threw Josef through the window?”, he asked incredulously.
“Yes, I have.”, she answered calmly, as if she would throw a 500 years old vampire through a window every day.
Mick groaned. „Besides the fact that you threw Josef through the window, how will you explain to the landlord here in Vancouver that we need a total renovation of our flat after only two weeks?“
Beth rolled her eyes. “You can ask Josef, he’s the one with more than enough money. And he…”
she stopped and faced the door.
Mick turned around and could just throw himself out of the way before a furious Josef came through the door like a missile to launch himself at Beth.
The End.
I'd like to see the security tapes that recorded that rumble! 
