Moonlightaholics

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Rating: PG-13

Author's Note: This story was written for the Second Birthday Challenge. My deep thanks to Lilly for her skills as a beta and her impeccable ear for Mick's speech patterns.

Unbirthday

Bottoms up – here’s to my second unbirthday. Well, technically, it’s the night after, but I’ve been a little busy for the last twenty-four hours. This is the first chance I’ve had to sit down with a drink, stare at the fire, and let it all sink in.

OK, I’m a vamp again. I only got a few days as a human, but I can honestly say I didn’t waste any of ‘em. I spent that week rediscovering what it’s like to be mortal, and I’ll admit it, I was surprised at how uncomfortable it can be. Inconvenient, too. Funny, the way that human limitations seem so… well, limiting, when you’ve had it the other way for so long. Chasing a guy who doesn’t want to be caught is hard when you’re mortal… especially if you’ve spent a week eating fast food. And as for hand-to-hand fighting, well, let’s just say that Lance and Pierce Anders gave me a new appreciation for instant healing. That vertical leap has gotten me out of some sticky situations, too. And you know what else? It’s fun. Tonight, after Beth left, I jumped up on a pillar, just because I could. First time in 56 years that I did something like that just for kicks.

So… what’s changed? I don’t know, exactly. I guess part of it is that I got a taste of the downside of mortality. I see it a lot more clearly now. And there’s something else. This time, I did it myself. Hard as it was, I made the choice to give it up, and for the right reasons. And I have no regrets. Well… maybe one. If only Beth and I… but the timing was lousy. Maybe if we’d had a month…

I need another drink.

Man, I miss the taste of Scotch. Maybe add a little A-positive… that’s better.

It wasn’t easy, but I had to do it. Yeah, I could have asked Josef to send someone to rescue Beth. But I couldn’t sit by and let some hired goon bungle the job. Anders had Beth! So I asked Josef for a much bigger favor. We keep upping the ante, Josef and I, but I think I’ve finally got him beat. What he did for me… I can never repay that debt. Here’s to you, buddy.

There is one thing I can do to repay Josef. Well, aside from feeding fresh, which is not going to happen. I really am gonna try to be less negative about being a vamp. If I’m stuck with this condition, I might as well learn to live with it. Would I give it all up in a heartbeat to be human again? Hell, yeah. I still hate the bad parts. Every word I said to Beth about the downside is true. I’ll never be comfortable with being a bloodsucking monster. But even though I’m not human, the past week has made me realize that I need to do a lot more living, in my own undead way.

Starting with Beth. I almost lost her tonight. If I hadn’t kissed her… and man, that was some kiss. More like a battle than a love scene. She struggled in my arms till I kissed my way through her defenses. And then finally… finally, she kissed me back. Oh, Beth. I don’t know how we’ll make this work, but I swear I’m gonna find a way.

Letting her walk away tonight was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and I’ve done a lot of really hard things this week alone. But I had to let her go. I wasn’t kidding about needing time – I’ve gotta get used to my body again. I can never tell Beth this, but when she was struggling, I came so close to vamping out. I may not be a new turn by the strict definition of the term, but my body doesn’t know that. It’s a lot harder to control the urges. I lose my temper too easily, I’m hungry all the time, and I seem to need the cold a lot more than I did before. It’s nothing like when I was first turned, but still… if I’m gonna make things work with Beth, I need to be at the top of my game.

She’s giving me time. But not too much. Heh. She knows me too well. But she’s right. I can’t hide in the shadows anymore. It’s time for this vampire to step into the light.
<>

from his lips to our ears....thru your hands.....

Happy Unbirthday!

A wonderful walk into Mick's mind.

In a lot of ways I think it was best for Mick to be turned quickly. Psychologically of course because it was a choice but I often wondered if you turned back naturally after "The cure" is it a slow process? Do you slowly lose the ability to taste food and is the sun allergy gradual? How sad that would be to feel yourself losing what you craved for so long.

Lucy, thank you!

Cassy, that's a really good point. I bet it would have been torture for Mick to lose it gradually. But oh, man... he wanted more time. He's a realist and he knows he chose this, but that doesn't make him miss it any less.

What a great take on the challenge! The title is so wonderful alone! And the voice of Mick could well have been a voiceover from the show, in episode 13 1/2. You explain so well why he let Beth go, why he kissed her so almost violently, how he feels about humanity and vampirity now. You give credit to his friendship with Josef, and it all fits so well. You got Mick. Just right.

Lovely answer to the challenge Allegrita!

I could see this scene playing out before my inner eye. Poor Mick, he'll always mourn the loss of his human life, but the difference now is, it was HIS choice to be turned. And that's a huge difference.

Yes, a wonderful walk into Mick's thoughts indeed.

Thank you Allegrita!

This is great, Alle. And I really do hope that you really mean this, Mick......

I really am gonna try to be less negative about being a vamp. If I’m stuck with this condition, I might as well learn to live with it.

Cos if you start your whining again, you are gonna get very short shift from Josef...... and from me as well!

Alle

This s fabulous!

Mick begged Josef to turn him back, to restore the condition that he had considered a curse for decades--for Beth. He had relished some of the joys of humanity, but he had honestly confronted the pains and limitations, as well.

Personally, I think this was a turning point in many ways.

Not to say that there were not a lot of them--when Coraline Turned him, that was the first major turning point we know of; then, Mick decided to stay with Coraline and try to be a good monster for a while--that was another, of sorts; at some point prior to rescuing Beth and thinking he killed Coraline, there was probably at least one moment when he decided that he didn't want to spend eternity in a red haze and decided to move back toward being a positive influence on th world. Then, there was rescuing baby Beth when he took the first real steps away from that life.

Yadda, yadda, yadda. We know these steps.

You have given us a peak into Mick's head and I love that he has decided that there are benefits to being a vampire and he has admitted that he enjoys them. Oh, he has enjoyed them before but his admission is a huge step.

Thank you for this!

Jenna

Agh!!! What a great fill in the blanks!!! Cos we just needed his voice here!!!! We were so used to getting his voice, his interior thoughts, and we really didn't get much in this spot!!! Fabulous! I so MISS his V/O's!!!!!!!!!!

Btw, I have been thinking of these Mick V/O's a lot lately, as we settle into Alex's new character. I think the device of those V/O's really endeared Mick to us. To have had the privilege of understanding this character, his most secret and sacred inner self, that was a rare treat in television, where you either get nothing, or you get it all spoken out loud, every stupid thought, joke, and body function. To hear this incredible individual's true feelings, feelings he shared with no one but us, not Beth, not Cora, not Josef, just us, that is what endeared him to us.

That Alex is at all able to make us care about McG, whose inner thoughts are the greatest mystery on earth, is testament to him, but also to Mick. Cos that bond--him and us-- is eternal.

What Grace said.

Jenna

francis, thank you so much. I love getting into Mick's head... and if you think I "get" him, I'm really happy. About the violence of that kiss... it just struck me as I was writing the story that there HAD to be a better reason than "just because" that Mick let Beth go after the kiss. And if he was struggling to control himself, that would be a good reason for him to want to take things slowly.

fairytoes, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I think Mick really did have a different attitude after the re-turning. There could be lots of different reasons for that, but knowing that he was the one who made the choice this time, must have been a big part of it.

AussieJo, thanks! I think there will be a lot of people giving Mick short shrift if he whines.

jen, I absolutely agree. I see the re-turning as a chance for Mick to make a fresh start as a vampire, and to admit that he wants to try to make things work with Beth despite the problems they face. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.

wpgrace, Oh honey, I miss 'em too. Sooooo much. What you said about Steve... well, voiceovers would be so very handy on that show, wouldn't they?! And I truly do love Alex for how well he manages to make us care about that buttoned-up guy...

The voiceovers are definitely a big part of what made me love Moonlight so much. Mick's voice in them was always so gravel-velvet deep, with a hint of whiskey and fog... and when he shared his thoughts with us that way, we were given a window into his complex psyche that helped us understand why he was so worth caring about. He shared things with us that could tell no one else... not even those he loved most dearly. We were his confidantes. I love carrying on that tradition of giving us a window into Mick's head... our beautiful, angsty vamp.

More like Birthday treat, Alle!! Thank you for this wonderful short story- You know how much I adore your writing.
I love the insight you've brought into the angsty mind of our Mick. He might be tormented about being a vampire, but that's just what makes him more human and endearing to me....not to mention his lovely face!

I loved this line; it seemed to sum up what he'd learned for the short time he was human again

But even though I’m not human, the past week has made me realize that I need to do a lot more living, in my own undead way.

Oh, but this makes such a perfect bookend for "Shock"! (After this I had to go back immediately to read that one, and then of course had to read this one again, in the proper order. . .)

I can so easily imagine Mick saying this as one long voice-over, at the end of FTP. That's just exactly where he seemed to be in his mind - so much more accepting of the vampire, now. Love how you explain this, and it really helps explain the lighter, less moody atmosphere of the last 4 eps. Nice to see Mick acknowledging the downsides of human existence, after he'd spent so long romanticizing it, and also acknowledging that there are things about being a vampire he likes. Not that there aren't regrets, as there would have to be.

Love his look back at the rooftop kiss, and his little revelation there. It makes a lot of sense that he'd need to get used to his vampire self again and was in some ways very like a new turn. And that last paragraph -- I could hear Mick saying those words soo clearly. *Sigh.*

Yes, you know, I always thought that Mick would come to accept his vampirism a little better after being turned, and I think you've got everything completely right in this story. I did wonder about this...

Alle wrote:And I have no regrets. Well… maybe one. If only Beth and I… but the timing was lousy. Maybe if we’d had a month…

... he wanted to come to her as a human man for their first time. Have I got that right?

Never thought of it that way, but yeah, Mick's re-turning would have been his second unbirthday. Very clever, alle and you've got Mick's voice perfectly.

Love the way he puts things in perspective; after wanting to be human again for so long, he's come to realize that there are downsides to being human (slow healing) and maybe one or two benes to being a vamp. Loved this

That vertical leap has gotten me out of some sticky situations, too. And you know what else? It’s fun. Tonight, after Beth left, I jumped up on a pillar, just because I could. First time in 56 years that I did something like that just for kicks.

He's like a little kid again, yet one who's come to understand that maybe Josef was right about making the most of what he is.

But even though I’m not human, the past week has made me realize that I need to do a lot more living, in my own undead way.

And thank you for this

Starting with Beth. I almost lost her tonight. If I hadn’t kissed her… and man, that was some kiss. More like a battle than a love scene. She struggled in my arms till I kissed my way through her defenses. And then finally… finally, she kissed me back.

You've described that kiss perfectly!!