Long Story Short (PG-13)
Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:50 pm
This was written for champaigne challenge #126 (Keep it short). It has exactly 500 words. I did plan it a bit shorter, but Josef can be a bit verbose.
No characters were harmed with this story. No copyright infringement intended.
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Long story short
Mick was working on some files in his office when there was a knock. He took a sniff. Mustiness and chemical compounds, with a strong side of Josef. Curious, he opened the door.
Josef was standing there, in his best business attire, Armani suit, Italian shoes and a silk tie. But he was dripping with dark brown fluid as if he was rained on by a snowblower after running through a puddle of mud.
He looked at Mick pleadingly from under wet bangs. “Will you let me in already?”
Mick came out of his stupor. He led Josef to the living room and let him sit down in one of his stylish grate chairs. After getting some blood and whisky for them both, he finally asked.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Then you better get started.”
“You know the accountant I employed half a year ago? The brunette with the nice backside?”
“Yeah. Did she shove you into the mud?”
“Just wait. 28 days ago I realized she was dating the accountant of my biggest rival.”
“So you threw her out?”
“Will you just wait, please? I heard that they had a big row a week ago and she was ready to split up.”
“How do you always hear the gossip?”
“I pay attention to my secretaries. Especially during lunch hour. Well, I asked her to have a conference with me and we planned a mutually beneficial action: She would pretend to be in love with him some more, and get some important information out of him, so by the time she would really dump him, I would be able to slay the competition and get him out of his job. She agreed.”
“But what does this have to do with you being all wet and dirty?”
“Patience, Mick. Besides, I always play dirty. Anyway, today she asked me to meet her at the Page Museum to exchange information. When I got there, her accountant was there too, as was my rival, a vampire, by the way.” He took a gulp of whiskey laced blood and swigged the fluid around in the tumbler.
“What happened?”
“We had a fight.”
“So?”
“The accountant was a vampire, too. And my accountant was his wife and soon-to-be fledgling.”
“So what?”
Josef looked away and spoke in a small voice. „I fell into the tar pits. That is, they threw me.“
Mick laughed gleefully. “I knew it. So, what do you want from me now?”
Josef turned on his pleading puppy dog eyes. “Can I take a shower and borrow some clothes? I don’t want my freshies to see me like this.”
Mick smiled. “Be my guest. Just don’t expect me to never talk about it again.”
Josef sighed. “I knew you would milk this for what it’s worth. At least Beth didn’t see me.”
A voice from the stairs made him whip around. “What are you two up to now?”
Josef groaned. He would never live this down.
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No characters were harmed with this story. No copyright infringement intended.
xxxxxxxxxxx
Long story short
Mick was working on some files in his office when there was a knock. He took a sniff. Mustiness and chemical compounds, with a strong side of Josef. Curious, he opened the door.
Josef was standing there, in his best business attire, Armani suit, Italian shoes and a silk tie. But he was dripping with dark brown fluid as if he was rained on by a snowblower after running through a puddle of mud.
He looked at Mick pleadingly from under wet bangs. “Will you let me in already?”
Mick came out of his stupor. He led Josef to the living room and let him sit down in one of his stylish grate chairs. After getting some blood and whisky for them both, he finally asked.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Then you better get started.”
“You know the accountant I employed half a year ago? The brunette with the nice backside?”
“Yeah. Did she shove you into the mud?”
“Just wait. 28 days ago I realized she was dating the accountant of my biggest rival.”
“So you threw her out?”
“Will you just wait, please? I heard that they had a big row a week ago and she was ready to split up.”
“How do you always hear the gossip?”
“I pay attention to my secretaries. Especially during lunch hour. Well, I asked her to have a conference with me and we planned a mutually beneficial action: She would pretend to be in love with him some more, and get some important information out of him, so by the time she would really dump him, I would be able to slay the competition and get him out of his job. She agreed.”
“But what does this have to do with you being all wet and dirty?”
“Patience, Mick. Besides, I always play dirty. Anyway, today she asked me to meet her at the Page Museum to exchange information. When I got there, her accountant was there too, as was my rival, a vampire, by the way.” He took a gulp of whiskey laced blood and swigged the fluid around in the tumbler.
“What happened?”
“We had a fight.”
“So?”
“The accountant was a vampire, too. And my accountant was his wife and soon-to-be fledgling.”
“So what?”
Josef looked away and spoke in a small voice. „I fell into the tar pits. That is, they threw me.“
Mick laughed gleefully. “I knew it. So, what do you want from me now?”
Josef turned on his pleading puppy dog eyes. “Can I take a shower and borrow some clothes? I don’t want my freshies to see me like this.”
Mick smiled. “Be my guest. Just don’t expect me to never talk about it again.”
Josef sighed. “I knew you would milk this for what it’s worth. At least Beth didn’t see me.”
A voice from the stairs made him whip around. “What are you two up to now?”
Josef groaned. He would never live this down.
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Well Josef can't win all the time! 
And I'd love to see what clothes of Mick's Josef would actually wear! 
Thank you!
If word gets out that Josef has been thrown into the Tar Pits, he might have to think of a new way to rid himself of people who piss him off! Oh, man... let's see... hmmmmmmmm....
On second thought, never mind. 
It's just one of those moments that makes you grin from ear to ear...