Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

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librarian_7
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Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by librarian_7 »

Disclaimer: I don’t own Josef. Really. Kudos to whoever does.

AN: This is a really, really late entry for the challenge...

Just a comment that this is set in spring of ’08, so it’s in an earlier time in Josef and Freshie Lucky’s relationship (specifically, before “Comfort”). And also, very importantly, I decided to write about this particular moment after seeing Allegrita’s “Insomnia” story. It’s a very different viewpoint, but set at the same time. Plus, she deserves credit for reading and improving it! And then, there’s the thought the incredible Lilly put in, too…thanks for beta’ing!


Insomnia

Oh, lovely. 5 a.m., and I haven’t slept a wink. Just too wired. With all due respect to Homer, rosy-fingered dawn is on the verge of flipping me off. And it’s so unfair. Josef comes home in a bad mood, and I’m the one who ends up staring at the ceiling all night.

I’m not sure when I got elected “freshie most likely to tease Josef out of a snit,” but evidently I have been. I’m also not sure how it is we all know the instant he gets home, what kind of a temper he’s in, but we do. It’s an amazingly uniform response. Maybe it’s the snarl of the Ferrari’s motor, or the way the door opens and closes. Maybe it’s just his footsteps, although mostly he moves like a ghost. Maybe we just know, because part of him is…us.

Maybe I could concentrate on that, and use it as a raft to drift off on.

The feel of his arms around me, the touch of his tongue on my throat…the fangs, oh, the fangs sliding in, and the pull of his mouth…the way sometimes, his body strains against mine, as though he wants so much more than my blood…

No good. Well, it is good—way past good, but it’s not putting me to sleep. Just heating up my blood.

I bet he’d laugh if he knew I was lying here worrying about him. I’ve never known anyone so self-sufficient. So self-contained. And most of the time, so self-satisfied.

This is what he gets—what I get—from sharing confidences. I couldn’t believe that when I asked him what was bothering him, he actually answered. Sometimes, it’s almost like he thinks he’s talking to himself, and doesn’t expect me to understand or remember what he says, but I do.

How many masks does that vampire have, anyway? Enough to drive me to distraction, that’s for sure. And just when I think I’ve got him figured out, he takes another one off, and surprise, it’s a whole new world of Josef.

And this thing last night, who’d have thought it? Josef. With regrets. And of all things, regrets that he fathered no children.

It’s Mick’s dilemma. I almost said, it’s Mick’s fault. I can’t imagine Josef thinking about such things often, but oh, no, Mick has to come in and announce that maybe—maybe—he has a long lost son. How can Josef help but think about it, too?

He didn’t say much, but it was enough. Enough to break my heart for him.

I can’t help but wonder if there’s not someone out there from his family. Nieces, nephews, cousins. Surely his entire bloodline didn’t die out with him. He could hire a researcher—there’s got to be someone out there who’s a relative. Maybe I can suggest that. Then again, he thinks of everything. If he thought it would do any good, he’d have done it. Long ago.

Or maybe…science has come so far. Maybe they could do something with his DNA and in vitro? I’d be so…honored…to host mother a baby for him. I can’t imagine what it would be, to carry his child…

Who am I kidding? I’m just some random freshie. He’d never trust a job like that to me. Even if it were possible, I’m nothing to him, really. But I can dream, I can dream he’d ask me.

What would it mean to be able to carry his baby in my body, to hold his child in my arms…to feel the steady beat of a Kostan heart next to mine…now, there’s a thought…to sleep on….
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cassysj
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by cassysj »

Oh wow this does bring me right back to the early Josef/Lucky days. Mick talking about things that Josef had long since put behind him but now must dredge up.

Lucky wants to do so much for him even at this point in their relationship. She wants to give him everything his heart desires.

:hearts:
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by allegrita »

Lucky, if my story inspired you to write this lovely vignette, then I'm both honored and glad. :hug:

This poignant story says so much about the vampire-freshie dynamic. Lucky adores Josef utterly and would sacrifice anything for him - yet she knows that freshies are just ephemeral beings to him, not really important in the grand scheme of things. He uses her as a sounding board when he's thinking out loud, but she feels as if he doesn't really even know she's there. She worries about him so much... thinks about his happiness, frets about him. And he doesn't even realize it, despite the fact that she's anything but "some random freshie" to him, even at this earlier time in their relationship.

Freshies who love their vampires are doomed to a life of unfulfillment in a lot of ways. No wonder Lucky yearns to have something more of Josef. Something of his to call her own. :sigh: :hearts: :rose:

Beautifully done, honey.
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by MoonShadow »

I love the comment about the snarl of the Ferrari engine. That is a perfect touch because that finely tuned engine responds instantly to the slightest reflex.

Another lovely, lovely, snippet of Josef goodness.
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by darkstarrising »

O. My. God.

Lucky unfiltered and no, I'm not trying to be funny. Lucky musing, wondering, dreaming, fantasizing all in one lovely little vignette.

This is Lucky before she became so special to Josef, but he is already so special to her. Almost every line gives a bit of a glimpse into Lucky's psyche, pouting just a little because she can't sleep and the reason she's so wired is, as always, Josef. The thoughts of a woman who's already being drawn into his world, thinking she doesn't even register on his radar...
Oh, lovely. 5 a.m., and I haven’t slept a wink. Just too wired. With all due respect to Homer, rosy-fingered dawn is on the verge of flipping me off.
This is just soooo Lucky.
How many masks does that vampire have, anyway? Enough to drive me to distraction, that’s for sure. And just when I think I’ve got him figured out, he takes another one off, and surprise, it’s a whole new world of Josef.
These are the lines that capture her fascination with him and his ability to keep her guessing, again, said as only she could.

Wonderful, Lucky :hug:
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by librarian_7 »

Oh, my, what incredible comments! I love it. cassy--"whatever his heart desires" is pretty dead on.

Alle and dsr--wow...what amazing analysis! I was particularly struck by the "unfiltered" comment; you know, in all these stories, this is the second one that's actually written in first person Freshie Lucky POV. These two...I usually hear their stories in 3rd person, for some reason. But this one had to be the thoughts in her head.

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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by francis »

I love that the thought of Josef biting her doesn't put her to sleep, but thinking of nursing his baby does.
This is Lucky's voice, so without her usual self control to please Josef. She's thinking what she's thinking without worrying what he might like or not. She knows that none of her thoughts would be spoken to Josef because he thinks of everything on his own. She's so attuned to his needs already but still thinks she's nothing to him. Sad, but true.

Love this story! :hearts:
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by LadyAilith »

So poignant and touching. If he only knew...

Thanks Lucky. This story is marvelous!
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by tucutecats »

Luckys dilemma.loving a vampire is fraught with danger,but not loving him would be worse, this relationship can only end one way , or maybe ???????????????Josph and Lucky how we love these two, insomnia , he loves me,he loves me not, keeping lucky awake.
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by eris »

Very nice, and it fits into the scenes from the episode really well. (I also love the Odyssey remix. It's a perfect mood-setter.) I have to wonder, though, if a certain vampire isn't lurking about outside Lucky's door listening to her restless night, or even causing it by his proximity. It seems like he'd stick close to the heartbeats in the aftermath of something like that.



It's funny, but J's reaction on that one, when he said he had no rugrats... I didn't believe him. His response to Mick looked like more pain than someone who never had kids, but wanted them. It looked more to me like J was remembering someone he'd lost - either to death or because he was cast out of his family when he turned. Then again, that's probably just my brain. :brow:
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by Penina Spinka »

Thank you for telling me about this. I would feel bad if I missed a Lucky adventure. Even without dialogue, being in her head is good. If only he knew how much she cares, would he keep her? I guess he expects to be loved and he's the only one who really matters. Since it is a challenge, this is probably all there is, but it was good to read.
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by librarian_7 »

Thanks so much for the comments, ladies! Poor Freshie Lucky...she get so analyzed around here!

And eris, I think I've seen more than one fanfic that involved Josef losing a young family when he was turned...or right before.

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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by RangerCM »

I think I love this so much because we do know that their relationship changes so much after this. It would be tragically sad without that knowledge, but at the same time, I find myself still a bit melancholy knowing that these innocent fantasies are much less complicated than the reality of her life with Josef will be.
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by NightAir »

Ooh! An early glimpse into Lucky and Josef's budding relationship!

You rarely write Lucky being a bit snippy, even if only in her thoughts, but insomnia will do that to a person. :laugh:
It's funny that she acts annoyed at being the designated Josef mood-cheerer when in reality she wouldn't want it any other way. Likewise, she's annoyed at Mick for precipitating Josef's melancholia, but without that catalyst Josef would never have opened up to her on this particular subject.
But Lucky is fooling herself by assuming Josef isn't talking to her when he answers her questions, tells her his thoughts. She hasn't yet realized that she is the only human he lets see behind the mask(s).
I wonder how Josef would respond to her fantasy of carrying his child. Would it be like Mick's incredulous question to Beth?, "You want to have my baby?" :gasp: :teeth:

It's always a pleasure to find another story about Lucky! :hearts:
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Re: Insomnia, PG-13, Champagne Challenge #127

Post by moonlight_vixen »

I'm catching up on all my fanfic, and I have to tell you that the second I saw a new Freshie Lucky/Josef story, I left streakmarks on my laptop to get here :laugh: I just love the quick glimpses into the early days of Josef and Lucky!
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