Vampire Speculation PG-13
Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:33 am
I do not own any recognizable characters, no copyright infringement is intended. The only thing that is mine is Tangie. 
Mick and Josef were having a drink.
“So I was watching this episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.” Mick said.
“Why? Is Beth role-playing? Don’t let her play with real stakes. Let her chase you around with a cross that’s always fun.
Mick glared at him “No but…..there was this ancient vampire and he was hideous. I mean really disgusting. It made me wonder what are we going to look like in a few centuries.
Josef held his arms out and did a runway model spin. “400 is fabulous.”
Mick sighed. “Yeah, but what about 1,400 or 2,400? We are still decaying, so eventually it has to catch up with us.”
“I’ve never seen it catch up with anyone.”
“How old is the oldest vampire you know? I mean really know not someone who says they walked with Julius Caesar.”
Josef shrugged. “That’s hard to say. How do you know your father was telling you the truth that you looked like Grandpa Robert? I mean when someone claims to be four hundred and they talk about reading Dickens in school you know they’re lying but how can you be sure of anything besides your own lifetime? Tom Rodriguez’ sire claims to be over two thousand. I know an eight hundred year old vampire who confirms his existence at least back that far but it’s not like we get birth certificates.
“How do you know your guy is really eight hundred?”
“I don’t but I can confirm he’s at least six hundred because that is how long he has been on the Vampire Council. They don’t let babies on the Council so his age rings true.
“How does he look?” Mick asked.
“Like an old man. He was old when he was turned.”
“How does he smell?”
Josef sighed. “That is such a rude question. He smells powerful like he could put you down in an instant.”
Have you ever met Tom’s sire?”
“Yes and no his skin isn’t rotting off the bones. He has a powerful scent but the humans still can’t detect it.”
“So do you think we really are immortal?”
Josef sipped his drink. “Doesn’t matter. Humans will eventually die out and then we will disappear. It’s not like we can become vegans.”
Mick nodded. “Do you think we’re aliens?”
“Little green men? Maybe. If so we came from a planet where our food source died out and we found a replacement. Maybe it was like that movie Tangie was watching Daybreakers.
“I thought the freshies couldn’t watch vampire movies.”
“They can’t watch Twilight. I’m not offended by the genre. Anyway a plague turned 95% of humans into vampires. If that happened I might try to leave the planet in hope of finding a compatible species.
“That does make sense. I wonder who was the first vampire on Earth.
“Maybe the aliens weren't vampires initially and it was a reaction to the planet. Some vampires think it's evolution but since no one is born or conceived vampire I’m ruling that out.
Mick hesitated. “Josef, is it hard not having a point of reference with people? I mean I grew up with electricity, radio, I even had a television before I was turned. What do you have?”
Josef waited a good five seconds before answering. “Shakespeare. The freshies are all required to be familiar with at least six plays.
“Is there anything else?”
Josef stared at his empty glass. “The King James Bible but I haven’t read that in a while. Mick it doesn’t matter where we came from, what matters is we move with the times.
Mick refilled their glasses and Josef toasted. “May the odds be ever in your favor.”
Mick raised his eyebrow. “That sounds vaguely familiar.”
“Stop reading Phillip Marlowe and read something from this century. The freshies are all reading The Hunger Games.”
Mick laughed. “I see role-playing in your future.”
Mick and Josef were having a drink.
“So I was watching this episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.” Mick said.
“Why? Is Beth role-playing? Don’t let her play with real stakes. Let her chase you around with a cross that’s always fun.
Mick glared at him “No but…..there was this ancient vampire and he was hideous. I mean really disgusting. It made me wonder what are we going to look like in a few centuries.
Josef held his arms out and did a runway model spin. “400 is fabulous.”
Mick sighed. “Yeah, but what about 1,400 or 2,400? We are still decaying, so eventually it has to catch up with us.”
“I’ve never seen it catch up with anyone.”
“How old is the oldest vampire you know? I mean really know not someone who says they walked with Julius Caesar.”
Josef shrugged. “That’s hard to say. How do you know your father was telling you the truth that you looked like Grandpa Robert? I mean when someone claims to be four hundred and they talk about reading Dickens in school you know they’re lying but how can you be sure of anything besides your own lifetime? Tom Rodriguez’ sire claims to be over two thousand. I know an eight hundred year old vampire who confirms his existence at least back that far but it’s not like we get birth certificates.
“How do you know your guy is really eight hundred?”
“I don’t but I can confirm he’s at least six hundred because that is how long he has been on the Vampire Council. They don’t let babies on the Council so his age rings true.
“How does he look?” Mick asked.
“Like an old man. He was old when he was turned.”
“How does he smell?”
Josef sighed. “That is such a rude question. He smells powerful like he could put you down in an instant.”
Have you ever met Tom’s sire?”
“Yes and no his skin isn’t rotting off the bones. He has a powerful scent but the humans still can’t detect it.”
“So do you think we really are immortal?”
Josef sipped his drink. “Doesn’t matter. Humans will eventually die out and then we will disappear. It’s not like we can become vegans.”
Mick nodded. “Do you think we’re aliens?”
“Little green men? Maybe. If so we came from a planet where our food source died out and we found a replacement. Maybe it was like that movie Tangie was watching Daybreakers.
“I thought the freshies couldn’t watch vampire movies.”
“They can’t watch Twilight. I’m not offended by the genre. Anyway a plague turned 95% of humans into vampires. If that happened I might try to leave the planet in hope of finding a compatible species.
“That does make sense. I wonder who was the first vampire on Earth.
“Maybe the aliens weren't vampires initially and it was a reaction to the planet. Some vampires think it's evolution but since no one is born or conceived vampire I’m ruling that out.
Mick hesitated. “Josef, is it hard not having a point of reference with people? I mean I grew up with electricity, radio, I even had a television before I was turned. What do you have?”
Josef waited a good five seconds before answering. “Shakespeare. The freshies are all required to be familiar with at least six plays.
“Is there anything else?”
Josef stared at his empty glass. “The King James Bible but I haven’t read that in a while. Mick it doesn’t matter where we came from, what matters is we move with the times.
Mick refilled their glasses and Josef toasted. “May the odds be ever in your favor.”
Mick raised his eyebrow. “That sounds vaguely familiar.”
“Stop reading Phillip Marlowe and read something from this century. The freshies are all reading The Hunger Games.”
Mick laughed. “I see role-playing in your future.”
Very true. It sounds like Mick has some catching up to do. 
