Killing Time - Challenge 117 (PG) 7/23/10

[darkstarrising]

Hi all

My answer to the 'Killing Time' challenge is the drabble below, a brief tale of a dark period in Mick's life, when blood was all.
My thanks to Fleur, my unsuspecting, but most gracious beta.

Killing Time

Shadows are like absent lovers.
Enveloped in their dark embrace, you feel nothing but yourself,
Hungry for more than what they can give.
Shelter from the light, promise of the night.

A shadow myself, I wait, killing time
Until someone approaches.
Their fear enticing, their blood inviting,
Take me!

I close my eyes, body and soul hardened by desire.
Visions of penetrating flesh, not to give life, but to take it,
Savoring blood’s warmth
Are almost enough.

But they’re not. They never are.
The hunger’s too great, the urge too strong.
So in shadow I’ll hide until it’s
Killing time.

[jen]

Lovely, Karen

You have your finger on the pulse point of Mick's quandry in this exquisite little drabble. The pull of the bloodlust is unrelenting if denied too long, and he both fears and dreads its control. While Josef has come to enjoy it, for Mick it is insufficient. It leave him unsatisfied, yet trapped by its necessity.

Brava!

Jenna

[Fleur de Lisa]

Well, I held out an entire minute after you posted it to comment!

One thing I never thought to mention to you during the many times I was lucky enough to pre-read this, was how erotic it is. Every time I read this, something different is revealed to me. The sadness that permeates this is so eloquently described--that part just jumps out at you immediately. The heartache of him being unable to deny what he is; he has no choice during this point in time but to succumb to what he now is.

The opening line is just glorious. Just a brilliant, beautiful opening.

Back to the eroticism---this reading, I got caught up in the enticing way the taking of a life was described. The taking of blood and life, from a vamp's perspective, is a seductive thing. The initial hunting of the victim, the penetration of teeth---and sometimes other body parts, as well as the excitement this act engenders is palpable in this drabble. Your choice of words doesn't hurt either--I hear 'hardening' and 'penetrating' in reference to Mick, and you know where my mind goes.
Seductive and darkly beautiful.
Another job well done, my friend.

[allegrita]

Blood was all, but it wasn't enough. And that's partly why that time was so very dark.

Beautiful poem/drabble, DSR! It really is a poem, and as such it says much more than the mere arrangement of words. It's very haunting. This Mick isn't the person we know now. He's trying to immerse himself in what he sees as the vampire's nature. What he doesn't get at this point in his life is that (at least in the ML-verse) the person's nature is not removed by the process of becoming a vampire. It's enhanced, changed, yes... but the basic nature is still there. And Mick's basic nature is not that of a sociopath. He cares about the damage he does. Each death kills him a little inside, because he values life. He's struggling to become something that he can never, ever be, despite its dark allure. And he remains unsatisfied, because he knows what he's doing is wrong.

I'm going to come back to this again and again. There's just so much here to appreciate.

[Moonlighter]

... The taking of blood and life, from a vamp's perspective, is a seductive thing. The initial hunting of the victim, the penetration of teeth---and sometimes other body parts, as well as the excitement this act engenders is palpable in this drabble.

I think that's a great description of this drabble, Fleur. I also get a feeling of Mick as a coiled spring about to be released at any moment, and his fear and excitement about that.

This was great, DSR. It is, indeed, killing time.

[Lucy]

[redwinter101]

Wonderfully dark, dsr. I firmly believe Mick had a time in his life when he truly deserved the description of monster that he gave himself and this is a great exposition of the irresistible (at that time) allure of the hunt and the kill.

Marvellous.

Red

[Luxe de Luxe]

dsr, this is wonderful. I love the way you put that phrase to two uses here. you very sneakily use the more conventional or expected of the two meanings early on and then WHAMMO! when you read it for the second and final time, it's a real kick in the guts. This packs a punch. awesome.

[darkstarrising]

Lovely, Karen

You have your finger on the pulse point of Mick's quandry in this exquisite little drabble. The pull of the bloodlust is unrelenting if denied too long, and he both fears and dreads its control. While Josef has come to enjoy it, for Mick it is insufficient. It leave him unsatisfied, yet trapped by its necessity.

Brava!

Jenna

Thanks, Jenna The intent here is just as you've captured it; Mick is trying to pull away, trying to find some way other than killing, but he's denied his need for so long, he ultimately succumbs.

[darkstarrising]

Well, I held out an entire minute after you posted it to comment!

One thing I never thought to mention to you during the many times I was lucky enough to pre-read this, was how erotic it is. Every time I read this, something different is revealed to me. The sadness that permeates this is so eloquently described--that part just jumps out at you immediately. The heartache of him being unable to deny what he is; he has no choice during this point in time but to succumb to what he now is.

The opening line is just glorious. Just a brilliant, beautiful opening.

Back to the eroticism---this reading, I got caught up in the enticing way the taking of a life was described. The taking of blood and life, from a vamp's perspective, is a seductive thing. The initial hunting of the victim, the penetration of teeth---and sometimes other body parts, as well as the excitement this act engenders is palpable in this drabble. Your choice of words doesn't hurt either--I hear 'hardening' and 'penetrating' in reference to Mick, and you know where my mind goes.
Seductive and darkly beautiful.
Another job well done, my friend.

Thanks, Fleur and thanks for letting me bounce this off you. One night, this idea popped into my mind very clear, then when I started to write it, clarity disappeared.

It is erotic; the line that get going through my head was "60 years is a long time to deny yourself the touch of another" and this piece reflects both the irresistible, seductive pull of blood as well as the need to connect with another. Only at this point in his life, the connection will end in death, something he's grown to hate, but can't find a way around - yet. The other aspect is that in a human relationship, the 'penetration' could result in the beginning of a new life. In this vampiric one, life is drained away.

[darkstarrising]

Blood was all, but it wasn't enough. And that's partly why that time was so very dark.

Beautiful poem/drabble, DSR! It really is a poem, and as such it says much more than the mere arrangement of words. It's very haunting. This Mick isn't the person we know now. He's trying to immerse himself in what he sees as the vampire's nature. What he doesn't get at this point in his life is that (at least in the ML-verse) the person's nature is not removed by the process of becoming a vampire. It's enhanced, changed, yes... but the basic nature is still there. And Mick's basic nature is not that of a sociopath. He cares about the damage he does. Each death kills him a little inside, because he values life. He's struggling to become something that he can never, ever be, despite its dark allure. And he remains unsatisfied, because he knows what he's doing is wrong.

I'm going to come back to this again and again. There's just so much here to appreciate.

Thanks, alle

Blood was all, but it wasn't enough.

Exactly!!! The man Mick was before he was turned found taking life revolting. He was a medic during the war, trying to save those he could. Now, as a vampire, his instinct to survive has overridden any revulsion he might have felt for killing, but he's finding it harder to endure. He's trying to find another way, but at this point, he's just not strong enough.

And for calling this a poem

[darkstarrising]

... The taking of blood and life, from a vamp's perspective, is a seductive thing. The initial hunting of the victim, the penetration of teeth---and sometimes other body parts, as well as the excitement this act engenders is palpable in this drabble.

I think that's a great description of this drabble, Fleur. I also get a feeling of Mick as a coiled spring about to be released at any moment, and his fear and excitement about that.

This was great, DSR. It is, indeed, killing time.

Thanks, Moonlighter It is about fear, feeling his victim's, but it's about his as well. A part of him doesn't want to do hunt his prey and drain them, but there's a stronger part that does. As he waits in the shadows, he's fantasizing about prior kills, in part to see if he can pull away, but in part to get himself psyched. Indeed, a coiled spring or a snake waiting to strike.

[darkstarrising]

thanks, Lucy - glad you enjoyed!!

[darkstarrising]

Wonderfully dark, dsr. I firmly believe Mick had a time in his life when he truly deserved the description of monster that he gave himself and this is a great exposition of the irresistible (at that time) allure of the hunt and the kill.

Marvellous.

Red

thanks, red I wish we knew more about that 'monstrous' time in his life. It would have been incredible to watch Mick in that mode. Based on what was said, though, there had to be a point where he succumbed fully to his vampiric needs. Over time, he likely struggled to rise above it, but failed from time to time. This drabble shows a man caught in between what he is and what he wants to be.

[darkstarrising]

dsr, this is wonderful. I love the way you put that phrase to two uses here. you very sneakily use the more conventional or expected of the two meanings early on and then WHAMMO! when you read it for the second and final time, it's a real kick in the guts. This packs a punch. awesome.

Thanks, Luxe Yeah, that was a bit sneaky of me, but that's exactly what I wanted to do. 'Killing time in the shadows' could be taken either way.