
This is my answer to the challenge to go down the Moonlight Road Not Taken. If I had my way, 'Fever' would have had an entirely different ending.
Please enjoy, and any quotations from the series are made with the utmost respect for the writer who authored them, in this case, Jill Blotevogel.
No Regrets
Alone.
That’s how he’d been for most of his life and would likely remain. Some of his isolation was self-imposed, hoping to distance himself from those he’d only end up hurting or who might hurt him. For all his charm and good looks, Mick St. John had been unlucky at love, more than an ordinary man could ever endure. Yet Mick was anything but an ordinary man and he had the scars to prove it.
Safe now within his sanctuary, the solitary man relived a lifetime of regrets; the choices he’d made, the women he’d loved, the friends and family he’d left behind. Today, he’d added to that growing list of regrets. Big time.
Go! Get out!
She hadn’t listened, she never did. Knowing Beth, she never would.
Kneeling before him, terror and determination warred within her, her doe eyes flicking to his golden ones then away again. Hands trembling, heart pounding, she’d plucked at her clothes to bare herself, offering her life’s blood to keep death at bay. He’d fought the urge to take her then, knowing the price of his salvation was eternal damnation, if in no one else’s eyes but his.
Not yours! Not like this!
In the end, need overcame all. The offering was taken, and none too gently. Another regret.
At some point, you’re going to have to stop me.
Eventually, she’d pushed him away, her stifled cry as fang tore flesh rending his heart. Her own instinct to survive had saved her, and in so doing, saved him. Her strength had become his, his weakness, hers. It was the pain, though, that shamed him most. In his desperation, he’d hurt the one he’d always protected, hungrily taking what he’d refused a lifetime ago and with it, her innocence.
While her pain would be fleeting, his would be eternal knowing it wasn’t just her blood he craved. Locked in his grip, her head on his shoulder, her softness and warmth, her caring, tortured him. While her blood would sustain his body, his soul would starve for what he could never have – the unconditional love of another.
A faint sound roused him from his reverie. A subtle scent, her scent, drew him to the door. A tentative knock, then another. Her heartbeat echoed within the stillness of his own, her shared blood drawing them ever closer. Her need mirrored his own, and he longed to ease it.
No! It’s too dangerous. For both our sakes, Beth, leave and never come back.
For a few moments, his savior waited. When only silence continued to greet her, she turned and walked away.
Once again, need prevailed; the door cracked opened.
“Beth.” He breathed her name. “You’re up late. You OK?”
She drew near, traces of their combined scent still present. “I..I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about you.”
“I’m fine. Really.”
The crooked half-smile disappeared at the sight of her bandaged wrist. Seeing this, Beth lowered her arm. “Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
The door closed behind them; the sanctuary had been breached.
She sat. He stood. Awkward silence hung between them, so much wanting to be said, with neither knowing how or where to begin.
His eyes strayed back to her wrist. “Does it hurt?”
A sad smile, then the truth. “A little. Josh wants me to see a doctor. He’s worried about tetanus.”
Pursed lips couldn’t hide Mick’s amusement. “Last time I checked, you couldn’t get tetanus from vampires. What exactly did you tell Josh?”
“I told him I stumbled in the dark and caught myself on a chain link fence. Hence, tetanus.”
Mick approached Beth. “That’s not what I meant. Didn’t he find it strange that you came looking for me on your own? That you didn’t call him first?”
Brilliant blue eyes searched his unreadable face; Beth was sure there was more to what Mick was asking. Yet she had a few questions of her own. “Not really. He knew how angry I was that you and Leni were nearly killed and that I can be just a little impetuous at times. He did seem a bit hurt, though.”
“I’m sorry.”
Beth waved dismissively. “Don’t be. Josh is far more upset that two detectives died and two civilians nearly died because someone he considered a friend betrayed him.”
“No. I mean I’m sorry about what I did to you.”
Beth reached up and taking Mick’s hand, gently pulled him down next to her. “You didn’t do anything to me. You’re my friend. You needed me, you needed what I could give. I have no regrets, Mick, and neither should you.”
He didn’t reply, he didn’t need to. His eyes gave him away.
Beth saw the opening and took it. “In the motel, what did you mean ‘not yours, not like this’?”
The question caught him off guard, something Beth was quite good at. He couldn’t tell her the entire truth; if Providence had seen fit to suppress her childhood memory of him, he wasn’t about to remind her.
“I was dying, Beth, and a dying vampire will do anything to survive, even hurt those they care about.”
“You care…. about me?” The words escaped before she could stop them.
More than I should.
The half-crooked smile emerged again. “Yeah, you can be a pest, but you’re growing on me.”
“Wait…you didn’t hurt Leni. Why do you think you’d hurt me? What aren’t you telling me?”
That I want you, I need you, and I can’t have you.
She was getting too close, both to him and to the truth. Her warmth was inviting, her blood enticing. He had to get away. Before he could move, Beth took his face in her hands, her eyes pleading. “Mick? I need to understand this feeling I have…about you. I feel…I don’t know, connected to you somehow.”
Mick drew her hands away, yet didn’t let go. Holding her arm, he gently ran his fingers along the sensitive area near the bandage.
“We are connected. Because of this.”
“Because I fed you?”
“Vampires don’t just bite to feed or kill. We also bite as ….” Words failed him.
“As what?”
“As an act of love.”
The words were barely audible, but he could feel her trembling.
“You gave yourself freely to save me. You’re a part of me now, and I’m sorry. I don’t want to cause any trouble between you and Josh. In time, when your blood is no longer in me, the connection you feel with me will fade.”
Ever so carefully, Mick removed the bandage, and raising her arm to his lips, gently kissed her wounds.
“Forgive me.”
“On one condition.” Beth kissed his cheek tenderly, then whispered. “That you never let the connection between us fade.”
Edited to complete a sentence in the first paragraph
