Insomnia (Beth, Champagne Challenge #127, PG)

[allegrita]

Thank you so much, JaniceVictoria! It was interesting, exploring an angsty Beth for a change.

[Lucy]

So... maybe I’m the opposite of a family for him —

Some of the strongest words here ......shades of green here allover....honest shades of green.
Worth the wait, for sure.

[Shadow]

When I saw your most recent video, which has such a vivid What's Left Behind vibe, I felt an amazing connection to it, and to you.

I was just about to put that video up when I read this story . . . and I have to tell you, I felt the same connection from the other side! There was something extraordinary about reading Beth's thoughts comparing her rescue and Jacob's . . . right after I'd fit those two scenes together side by side.

And bless her gallant heart, after a long wrestling match with her own self-doubts and insecurities, and her self-centeredness, I truly believe that Beth would come out the other side with her priorities in the right order. That's what I love about her.

Me too, and that's such a great way to put it. Sometimes it's really a struggle for her, but when it's important, it seems like she'll finally end up in the right place.

[maggatha3]

Oh my, how have I missed that story? Alle, you gave poor Beth one of those horrible, horrible nights after stressful time that your mind just won't shut up even for a second, and doing the most hurtful and heartbreaking thoughts. Like the sky is falling upon you! Beth had her own issues to face, a continuing vulnerability, that made her relationship to a vampire - especially one like Mick- even more complicated ,it seems. It was really fascinating to read how her trauma lead her through all those feelings towards Coraline, Jacob, Lilah, but mostly Mick. Such a full circle, from despair and jealousy to hope,love and relief.

Thank you

[allegrita]

Lucy, my sincere apologies for not acknowledging your comment before. I love what you said - this is Beth being utterly, brutally, and embarrassingly honest in all the worst ways. And yeah, I can totally understand why she feels the way she does in the dark hours of a sleepless night. But she comes full circle, as Maggatha so wonderfully said, and she finds strength and compassion in the light of day. That's why I love her so much. She's damaged and complex and strong and resilient. I love Beth.

[jen]

Lovely, thoughful story, Alle.

I'm sure Beth has had her share of sleepless nights. Instinctively feeling safe does not make her immune from the occasional bout of insomnia.

Thank you!

[allegrita]

Jen, my apologies for not responding sooner. I agree -- Beth's good at putting things into little boxes inside her mind. But sometimes, in the dark, those boxes spring open, and oh my... once the box is open, it's hard sometimes to put the demon inside back in, and close the lid! Beth had a lot of shocks to deal with after Jacob's rescue, and it was a real journey, going along with her through that awful night. She might not be proud of parts of that night... but she ended up in a really good place. Beth's like that: she has a lot of mental dragons to slay, but she's a strong and good person at heart.

[jen]

Alle

Don't worry about being late!

When I saw this pop back up on Active Topics, I got to enjoy it again!

Beth will continue to mentally explore the events of that kidnapping probably for the rest of her life. You have done a wonderful job of showing us one of those nights, and the mental journey into the light.

[Marigold]

Wow! This is such an honest look at Beth's reaction to some very stressful events. Her emotions and thoughts are completely understandable -- sometimes, your mind just needs to be 'selfish,' and think certain thoughts, regardless of how you actually feel, or what you know. It's part of the coping process. Sometimes, all you need to feel better is a good cry.


I really like how, in the first section, Beth's thoughts are raw, and are perhaps transporting her back to her childhood ("the scary lady," "wanna"). Then, in the second section, Beth realized that her initial emotions were a bit "embarrassing," and she examined her thoughts from a more neutral, calm perspective. And then, at the end, Beth comes to a conclusion: Family isn't only about DNA. This means that she can be family to Mick, just as Jacob can be family to Mick. There is room for everyone.

This is perfect, Alle! Thank you!

[allegrita]

Thank you, Marigold. I like that--there's room for everyone. I think Beth finally got there, after a lot of work. But that's one thing about Beth that I really admire. She does struggle to do the right thing, even when it's a tough struggle. And Mick's worth the effort.

[cassysj]

One of the best things about revisiting old challenges is the great stories. You have such a perfect voice for Beth here. She is a jumble of emotions, She doesn't want to share her angel and you can understand that but the rational side of her would keep her up all night over this.

[jen]

Alle

This is a truly superb look into Beth's mind--and I totally agree with the statements upthread. Her flaws, and she does have them, make her more interesting. She has a past that occasionally blindsides her, as it did on this night.

You also did a wonderful job of giving us a peak into the Moonlight version of those sleepless nights where emotions often overrule logic and we briefly surrender to them. Beth managed to take control of them here as she did when she awoke from a dream in bed with Josh after calling out Mick's name. She told him about her dream and he was understanding, then she kissed him, got up and got ready for work.

Sensible. Logical. Sound.

And poor Josh didn't have a chance...the girl's in love.

Thank you!

Jenna