Characters: Mick and Beth
Rated: PG
Many, many thanks to Moonlighter for being my beta and offering her advice, support, ideas and all around help with this story. I couldn't have done it without you, girlfriend!
When Mick appeared in Beth's apartment after Josh died, what if he had said "You make me want to" out loud to her?
What If – You Make Me Want To
“Turning someone into a vampire isn’t saving a life, it’s taking one.”
“Because it’s such a curse. I know. You tell me all the time.”
“You don’t know! Beth, how could you know?”
“If you hate what you are so much then why do you go on living?”
Just this morning you were contemplating telling her how you feel, Mick thought to himself. Now would be the time. “You make me want to.”
Beth stared at him. “Wha…what did you say?” Her heart soared. Could it be that he does have feelings for me?
“I said ‘you make me want to’,” Mick choked out. “I’ll go now, like you asked.” In an instant he was gone, leaving the sheer curtain billowing in the breeze.
Beth continued to stare at the space where Mick had stood only a second before. The moment Mick disappeared it became clear to her; she needed him. Right here, right now. She jumped up from her chair, stumbling in her haste. “Mick, wait! Come back!” She collapsed to the floor, crying. “Don’t you leave me too,” she sobbed to the empty room, wondering what she had done. Why did I send him away?
Outside on the lawn, Mick stood still when he heard her plea. He couldn’t turn his back on her; couldn’t let her think that she had been abandoned by both of the men in her life who loved her. He leapt to her balcony again and saw her crumpled on the floor, sobbing.
Cool hands caressed her wet cheeks as he pulled her face up to look at him. “I’m here Beth,” he said softly. “I won’t leave you.”
Relief flooded her face and she gave him a weak smile but it only lasted a moment before the guilt consumed her once again. Her face fell and she broke down in sobs against his shoulder. “It’s my fault,” she choked out. “It’s my fault Josh is dead.” Mick picked her up, cradling her gently in his strong arms. He walked over to the couch and sat down with Beth on his lap, her head against his shoulder as she continued to weep. “I – I told him to carry on with the case when he wanted to recuse himself. If I hadn’t he’d still be alive.”
Mick pushed Beth’s head up. “Beth, look at me. Look at me!” She raised her red eyes to his. “You didn’t kill Josh. Huerta killed him. And Tejada killed him. Beth, his job killed him. It’s not your fault.”
Beth looked at Mick but quickly turned away, burying her head on his shoulder once again. “I wanted to break up with him, but I was too chicken. After I saw what happened to Sarah Whitley, I got scared.” She hiccupped. “I ran back here to the dull and boring, because it felt safe.”
“That’s only natural, Beth. You should be afraid of vampires,” Mick tried to reason, though deep within him he knew how much he wanted Beth by his side. It’s for her own protection, he tried to convince himself.
Beth shook her head, wiping her eyes on Mick’s shirt in the process. “But it wasn’t fair to Josh! I meant to tell him it was over, but I kept putting it off. Now…now it’s too late. He’s dead.” She looked up at Mick with puffy eyes. “He deserved someone else. Someone who would have appreciated him more than me. I took that away from him.” She started sobbing again and Mick just held her, rocking back and forth with his cheek on top of her head.
Her sobs soon subsided to sniffles. “I’m sorry I asked you to turn him,” she whispered in a meek voice. “He wouldn’t have wanted that. It’s just…” she took a deep breath. “It’s just that I wanted more time. To try and make things right.”
“Beth,” Mick said softly. “He loved you. Anyone could see that. You were there for him and he died believing you loved him. That’s what he would have wanted, and that’s what you gave him.” He bent his head to try and get a peek at Beth’s face. “Your face was the last thing he saw when the end came…it’s not a bad way to go,” he added, giving Beth a little half grin.
Beth gave him a feeble grin in return and then let out a deep sigh. Mick could tell she was exhausted, emotionally and physically. He stood up with her still in his arms. “C’mon, you’re exhausted. You need to get some sleep.” He started towards her bedroom.
“Mick,” she said, trying to regain some dignity after having blubbered all over him. “You can put be down. I’m perfectly capable of walking by myself.”
He didn’t slow at all. “And I’m perfectly capable of carrying you,” Mick said matter-of-factly. Beth sighed in resignation as he continued into the bedroom, setting her down on the edge of her bed nearest the bathroom door. “I think you’ll feel better if you take a hot shower,” he called from the bathroom over the sound of the running water. He walked out of the bathroom and headed out the bedroom door towards the kitchen. “And I’ll fix you something to eat.”
“I’m not hungry,” Beth said stubbornly as she began to get undressed by taking off her sweater.
Mick stopped and turned around. “When was the last time you ate something?”
“I don’t remember.” She stood up to unzip her jeans.
Mick quickly turned away and headed towards the kitchen again. “Which is why I’m going to fix you something to eat.”
Beth watched his retreating back and sighed before walking into the bathroom.
Mick looked around Beth’s kitchen for something he knew how to fix, settling on toast with peanut butter. He poured some milk into a coffee mug, added some chocolate syrup and zapped it in the microwave. He waited until he heard the shower turn off and a few minutes later, heard Beth climb into bed.
“Here you go,” he said as he set the tray down on Beth’s lap and sat in the chair next to her bed.
“Thanks. I guess I am pretty hungry,” she admitted sheepishly. She finished off the toast in no time, and sipped at her hot chocolate. The combination of the warm shower and hot chocolate did the trick; Mick noticed Beth becoming increasingly drowsy even before she finished her drink.
“Okay, I think you’re ready to get some sleep,” he said as he took the mug away from her before the last drops spilled. Beth slid down under the covers.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
Mick smiled. “You’re welcome. Now get some sleep,” he added as he headed for the kitchen with the dirty dishes.
“Mick?” she asked softly.
He stopped. “Yes?”
“You’re not going to leave, are you?”
“No Beth, I’m not going to leave. I’m just going to put these in the sink and I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” she mumbled. By the time Mick returned to the chair beside her bed, she was fast asleep.
MLMLMLML
Beth tossed and turned restlessly, the dreams of Josh coming unbidden.
“You have to stay on this case – it’s the right thing to do.”
“I forgot how cute you are when you’re crusading.” He backed her against the wall and kissed her, again and again. There was no mistaking the look of desire, of need, on his face. Beth closed her eyes as his mouth assaulted hers. Suddenly the kisses became gentle and tender and she felt herself relax. She put her hand up to the back of his neck and ran her fingers through the long curls. She drew back to take a breath and opened her eyes slowly. Mick’s hazel eyes were staring back at her, full of love. He smiled as he bent his head to kiss her again, and she was lost in his embrace…
…A phone was ringing. “Bobby, thanks for getting back to me so fast. I want to set up a security detail ASAP.” Beth watched Josh leave her bed. This was what she wanted, right? Escape New York and come home to the safe and predictable? The sudden knocking on the door startled her. She got out of bed and went to answer it, forgetting she had nothing on. She opened the door wide and Mick was standing there, speechless as his eyes raked up and down her naked body. Appearing to be unable to deny his feelings any longer, he grabbed her and kissed her until she felt faint. Her knees gave way and Mick scooped her up in his strong arms and carried her to her bed. She watched with smoky eyes as he stripped before her and slowly climbed onto the bed, every bit a predator on the hunt. But she wasn’t scared - she was excited…
…Then she was in a car speeding down the highway. She was driving – chasing something but she didn’t know what. “Stop! Pull over!” Josh was yelling at her. “But we have to find them!” she yelled back at him. The car careened around a corner…
…And she was on a dirt road in the trees, alone in the car. There were loud gunshots and bullets flying and then the windshield shattered. She jumped out of the car, ran to the trunk in back, opened it… and saw Mick’s lifeless body lying there covered in blood and riddled with bullet holes…
“MIIICK!!” She sat up in bed, screaming. In an instant Mick was beside her, gathering her trembling body into his arms.
“Beth! Beth, it’s okay! I’m here, I’ve got you. It was just a dream, Beth. Shhh…” He stroked her hair and held her close to his chest.
“It turned into a nightmare,” she whispered to him. “At first I kept dreaming about Josh, and all the things that happened today. In the dream, I seemed to be uncomfortable around him, like I shouldn't be there. Then suddenly Josh would turn into you. And then it felt so right, like I belonged with you.” She blushed when she said it.
“So what made you scream?”
Beth shuddered. “I was at the park. There were gunshots. I opened the car trunk and… and…” She closed her eyes and clung tightly to Mick. “It was you lying in the trunk, all shot up.” She paused as the scene replayed in her mind. "I - I thought I'd lost you," she added very softly.
Mick hugged her and kissed the top of her head. “You haven’t lost me, Beth. I’m fine.” Beth gave him a weak smile and Mick took a nervous breath. “Would you like me to stay here with you? I mean, you know, next to you? On the bed?” he stammered. Beth nodded into his chest. Mick slowly released her and stood up, kicking off his shoes. Lying down on his back on top of the covers he grabbed an afghan off the foot of the bed. Beth snuggled next to him with her head on his chest and he covered her with the afghan, encircling her with his arms as if to protect her from any more bad dreams. She let out a long sigh and Mick felt her whole body relax. Now if only I can relax as well, he thought to himself with a smile.
They laid like that for some time in a comfortable silence, eyes shut, enjoying their closeness. From her steady breathing, Mick thought Beth had fallen asleep, so he was surprised to hear her voice.
“Mick?” she whispered.
“Hmm?” he replied softly, eyes still closed.
“What did you mean when you said that I make you want to go on living?”
Mick’s eyes shot open in surprise.
“Mick?” Beth asked again when he didn’t respond, lifting her head to look at him.
Mick pulled her tighter against him, but addressed the ceiling. “I did a lot of bad things after I was turned, Beth. Things that you could never imagine. Things that I carry tremendous amounts of guilt about. I wanted to make up for them. That’s why I became a P.I. – to use my special abilities to help people.” He paused before going on. “When Coraline kidnapped you as a child, that was a turning point for me. Rescuing you gave me the strength to leave Coraline for good. Protecting you and watching over you to make sure she didn’t try to harm you again gave my life a new purpose.” Mick rolled over to face Beth, propping his head up on one elbow. “Then in the blink of an eye, you became a beautiful young woman who captured my heart walking barefoot through a freezing fountain at two in the morning.”
Beth blushed and looked away for a second when he said that. Mick reached his hand up and drew a finger tenderly down her cheek, drawing her eyes back to his. “And every day since then, my feelings for you have grown. You are the reason I go on living – to be with you,” he said softly as their eyes locked.
Slowly, Beth leaned forward and pressed her lips to Mick’s, kissing him gently. When she pulled away she was amused at his look of disbelief. So she kissed him again, and this time he kissed her back, with tenderness and longing. Then they broke apart, and Mick rolled onto his back again, running his hand down his face as he released a heavy sigh.
“Mick?” Beth asked, confused. “What’s wrong?”
“We shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not right,” he said as he dropped his hand. He turned to face her, propping himself up once again to look directly into her eyes. “After everything you went through today, it’s too soon. I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of your vulnerability right now.”
“I don’t think you’re taking advantage of me, Mick,” she said as she brushed the hair from his forehead. Then she sighed. “But I do know what you mean.” She looked away for a minute, out the window. “Maybe when all of this is over, the funeral and everything I mean,” she said as she waved her hand around in the air. “When it’s all over with, maybe we could try… you know…”
“Dating?” they both said at the same time and broke out in soft laughter.
Then Mick turned serious. “You know, relationships between humans and vampires are difficult, dangerous…”
“And complicated,” Beth finished for him. “Yes, I know. But I think we’re up for the challenge, don’t you?”
“Yes, I think we can handle it.” Mick smiled and they kissed again, lightly, as if sealing a promise. Then Mick lay back down and Beth nestled up to his side.
“I’m glad you’re here with me Mick,” Beth said as she closed her eyes. “I don’t think I’ll have any more nightmares.”
“I hope not,” he said as he tucked the afghan around her once more. “Sweet dreams, Beth.”
“Sweet dreams, Mick.”
THE END
