Josef's (Very) Bad Day - PG 13 (3/28/09)

[nutmegger911]

Josef’s (Very) Bad Day
By Nutmegger911
Original post Saturday, March 28, 2009

Here’s a little ditty about one of those days in the life of our favorite hedonistic vampire. Feed the muse with comments.
Posted nekkid, no beta on this, sorry folks…

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Josef’s (Very) Bad Day

Josef was pacing the living room barking out orders to his small army of traders. The markets were so volatile these days that almost any move was pure speculation. You couldn’t even bet on the markets simply going down. In the course of the last four hours quick moves and surprise options calls had his holdings bouncing like a superball. Right now, he was down about $260 million. Not a good day.

Today the news was calling hedge fund traders the culprits. There was a crowd picketing outside his office. The good news, he wasn’t at the office. The bad news was he was working from home, because the latest bonehead designers couldn’t seem to… Oh, I don’t know… design an office!

To make matters worse, there had been an unfortunate incident on the premises last week and the front porch had to be rebuilt. The carpenters had finally finished their incessant banging and all that was left to do was paint. Maybe now he could concentrate.

Josef despised working from home. “This is supposed to be my respite, not my office,” he had told Mick. “When stress comes into Kasa Kostan, it affects the taste of even my favorites. They don’t call it a sour mood for nothing.”

Not that it truly mattered right now; most of the girls were down with the Asian flu. Hence Josef had a house full of temps. As hard as they tried these girls were less friendly, less tasty, less intelligent, less spunky… just plain less than he was used to with his girls. Well, at least he wasn’t drinking morgue blood.

“Hungry!” he called out and another temp stepped into the room. Just as Josef was about to have a bite one of his minions interrupted, “Excuse me, Mr. Kostan?”

“What now, James?”

“There was a little mishap.” He leaned in and whispered something into Josef’s ear.

“Oh, for God’s sake! It’s a porch! He’s a painter. It needs to be done this morning. End of story.

“But, sir... He said… ”

“I don’t care what he said. Finished… This morning… or he’ll be finished.”

“I can help.” The freshie piped in. Both men stopped mid conversation.

“You?” James said.

“I’m very good at painting” she said earnestly.

“You’re a freshie.” James said

“I’m a willing freshie; as in willing to help. Besides, Mr. K can still feed from me when I’m done. Come on. It’ll be fun.”

“You want to paint my porch?”

“I would love to paint your porch, Josef.” She cooed. She snapped his suspenders to emphasize her point.

“James, show Miss….”

“Candy.”

“Show Candy where the paint is, then send in another freshie for my morning snack.” Josef said. “I’ll be eagerly anticipating your return” he said to the girl.

“The paint is right outside the front door.” James said as he led Candy away.

“What a difference an hour makes.” Josef thought. Things seemed to be looking up. Maybe the temps weren’t so bad after all. His most recent snack wasn’t all that bad, and one of the girls was even picking up where that slacker had left him in the lurch. It would probably take her the whole day to paint the porch, but he had to admire the initiative she showed.

Just as he was finishing his thought the girl came inside carrying a wet brush. Josef couldn't help but smile at the sight. She looked cute in her short shorts with bits of taupe paint smudged here and there. “Is there something you need, babe?”

“I’m finished.” She grinned.

“Already?” Josef was astonished. He would have expected the job to take half a day with a professional painter. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure, silly!” came Candy’s reply. “Oh, and it isn’t a porche, it’s a Ferrari.”

[AggieVamp]

OHHH NOOOO!!! Josef just THOUGHT his temp freshie was going to work out..

I liked this

hehehehe

Karen

[nutmegger911]

Hi Karen,
Glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.

[mitzie]

Didn't see that ending coming at all!! Josef will be so pissed it will be beyond anyone's imagination!!!!

for giving me a much needed laugh!!!!

mitzie

[Catmoon]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I heard Josef's yell all the way over here! (I'd tell you I had a great laugh over this, but Josef is watching...).

[Luxe de Luxe]

LMAO!

That was very very funny... oooh I can just imagine the look on his face.

Well done NM!!

[wpgrace]

OH! A dead freshie story! Excellent!

[francis]

I think she might be a dead willing freshie soon.
Is this a blonde joke or did she dye her hair?

This was fantastic. Poor ferrari though.

[nutmegger911]

Thank you, for reading and commenting.

Mitzie - Happy to provide a laugh! And so glad the ending turned out to be a surprise.

Catmoon - Don't worry, Josef Muse told me to write it. He will (eventually) be able to laugh at it, too.

Hi, Luxe - Thanks for the encouraging words. So glad you found it funny.

Now, Grace - It isn't a dead freshie story... yet.

Hi there, Francis - Personally, that wasn't my vision of the girl, but since the only physical description I gave of Candy was short shorts, you get to fill in the blanks with your favorite ditz.

[Josefismysire]

OOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYGGGGGGGGGG......



I am still laughing so hard I'm crying!! This was GREAT!!!! What a wonderful story, NM!! Thank you thank you thank you for the best laugh I've had in days!!

[moonlight_vixen]

Well, they don't call them "dead freshies" for nothing See, that's what happens when you give a girl named Candy a paint brush...

Stress in Kasa Kostan is never good, and considering he lost $260 million our poor baby is not going to be in a good mood at all! But us dedicated Josefites will make him feel better!!

Great story!! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time

[nutmegger911]

Hi JIMS - Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and commenting. (Keeps the muses fed)

MV - Thank goodness Josef has the $260 million to spare. Otherwise... Well, otherwise he wouldn't be Josef, would he? And it's a good thing all you Josefites are there to soothe him. He surely must appreciate everything you do.


Josef Muse has asked me to make the following announcement:

No freshies were harmed in the making of this fanfic.

*Hey, just the messenger here...*

[eris]

Pleading blonde is about the only defense she has for this, and I doubt that would work.

[Liana]

Poor silly willing freshie... what a waste...

No freshies were harmed in the making of this fanfic.

[nutmegger911]

Pleading blonde is about the only defense she has for this, and I doubt that would work.

Well, Eris, she could always plead the fifth. Of course, in her case she might only have a pint to spare.

Liana - Glad you're enjoying the comments as well as the fic.