Business as usual (PG-13) MickBeth Australia trip

[francis]

As our dear mods have made a deal with the ATC, and I have no talent whatsoever in banner making, I thought I might use another talent of mine and produce an Australian centric story. I'm not so sure about it, but here it is for your consideration.

Disclaimer:
I don't own Moonlight, and I don't own Australia.
Lachlan MacAllen is a figment of my imagination and resembles Jack the Oyster Farmer if you squint.
No Koala was harmed in the making of this story.



Business as usual

„Do you think we will see a Koala?“

„I’m not sure we have time for sightseeing, Beth.“ Mick scolded. „This is an important meeting with the Australian Vampire Commission and the sun is too much as it is.“

Beth looked up from her magazine. The plane was flying over beautiful clouds and the blue sea down under.
„How do the Australian vampires get around with so much sun? I wouldn’t have thought there would be vampires in Melbourne.“

„That’s where the myth stems from that vampires burst into flame if they go out during the day. Australian vampires sleep a lot. They dig a cellar under their houses and put a freezer down under, then spend daylight there. I met one of them once, and he told me he just had a whole library there, as he couldn’t by all means sleep that much. The fact that vampires hog all that literature is one of the causes why books are so expensive there.“

„What’s this meeting about anyway?“ she huffed. Mick hadn’t told her much, only that he had to leave town for a while and if she would like to go with him.

„Lots of Josef’s freshies have been distracted from their 100% obedience lately and began to ask Josef if they could visit Australia. He’s concerned that the Australian vampires use some kind of allure to get them.“

„Do you want me to sniff around among the freshies then?“

In fact, he wanted to use her as some kind of Guinea pig, but he wouldn’t tell her.
„That’s a good idea. See what you can find out.“

After checking in at a hotel they had a hard time adjusting to the time difference.
„I feel so rushed with everything.“ Beth complained. „I have to eat and sleep hours earlier than I’m used to.“

„Early bird catches the worm.“ Mick quipped. „I guess that’s why Australians are so effective and successful. They work real hard. That, and they’re descendants of a bunch of criminals.“

Beth nudged him. „That’s not a nice thing to say. Besides, Californians are descendants of gold diggers, so there.“

„Actually, my grandparents are Irish and German, so I’m descendant of a bunch of drunk Catholics and of OCD bureaucrats. But be assured, I talked in jest.“

„You talk like Josef. I’m beginning to think I should keep you apart.“

„You do that already. Every time I want to go to Josef for a poker game, I spot you in your bathrobe and decide to stay at home.“

She hit him again, but smiled.

The next evening after sunset they met the local head of the vampire community in his home. Lachlan MacAllen was a nice guy with an open face and a sexy eight-o-clock-shadow that was a few hours early. He shook Mick’s hand amiably and then grinned at Beth, who felt a bit subdued at his open interest.

„G’day. Nice to see you. Josef Kostan called ahead, so I knew you would come. Take a seat and tell me what this is about.“

Mick took place in a stuffed armchair and got comfortable. Beth was temporarily distracted by the way he sat there, then remembered where she was and took a seat on the couch.

Mick started to explain. „We have noticed a change in our freshies’ behaviour. Many of them, the most devoted first, have developed a strange craving for all things Australian. They want to go there, they use pictures of Australia in their facebook page, create banners and talk about boomerangs and kangaroos. Do you have any idea what this could mean? Do your freshies do the same?“

Lachlan looked blank for a while, then shook his head back and laughed a full body laugh that made Beth smile. He wiped the tears from his eyes and said: „Mr. St. John, thank you for this laugh. I don’t think I ever heard anything this hilarious in the last 250 years. It must be a strange bout of Australian fever. I’ve no idea what that is.“

„And your freshies?“

„They are like that all the time. Emerald, Phoenix, would you come in, please?“
He didn’t raise his voice much, but the two must have already been waiting in the shadows. Emerald was a stunning beauty, black straight hair, beautiful eyes and very pale skin, almost looking like a vampire herself. Phoenix was equally beautiful, with flowing red locks and a fiery temper.

Lachlan asked straight away: „Do you have any idea why the freshies in L.A. suddenly have a strange wish to visit Australia?“

Emerald shrugged. „No, I’m a member of several freshie boards, but I have no idea what happened. This one board completely changed it’s face within minutes and now promotes the heck out of Australia. They even have little koalas as icons.“

Phoenix on the other hand turned beet-red. Lachlan fixated her. „Do you want to share with the class, fiery one?“

„I didn’t realize it would upset anybody. You know, some of my fellow freshies in the US and in Britain are in on it. We searched for a sponsor for our website and found that the Australian Tourism Commission made the best offer. It’s not my fault that it spread into a Down Under frenzy.“

„Now,“ Lachlan smiled. „I don’t think it’s something dangerous. We just have to make sure the freshies don’t all come over. We won’t want to starve our brethren in California.“

„Maybe a freshie proof fence…“ Emerald suggested.

„I will make sure they know it’s only temporary, and everything will change back soon.“ Phoenix offered.

Mick was delighted. Problem solved. They took their leave and went back to the hotel.

Mick called Josef to tell him the news. „Everything okay over there?“

„Well, Mick, it’s almost business as usual. The freshies are talking about a change on their favorite website, it’s puzzling them that everything changed back again. I caught Lucky trying to get rid of a Didgeridoo CD. The fever must have died down.“

„Good. I think I might stay down under a while longer, though.“

„What for? It’s awfully hot there.“

„I know. But Beth has fallen in love with the country and insisted on visiting some sights. I fear she caught the fever.“

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[redwinter101]

Too funny, francis.

Australian fever indeed .

Red

[catravers]

That was just too good francis. I love any story mentioning by beloved Australia.
Thanks for a great read.

[wpgrace]

A sexy 8 o'clock shadow that was a few hours too early?? The vamps suck up all the books and increase the prices? Oh and Beth got distracted by watching MIck sit??

You have clearly memorized every post on this board and turned it all into a great big snark!!! This whole thing is hilarious!

Thanks for the laugh, francis!

[Phoenix]

So freshie Phoenix has a fiery temper, huh? Just don't get her started on the bloody vampires being to blame for the book prices here.

Thanks, Francis. I fell out of my chair laughing.

[cassysj]

Francis that is hysterical!!! That Australian fever once you get it, it's hard to shake.

[Lilly]

Lachlan looked blank for a while, then shook his head back and laughed a full body laugh that made Beth smile.

Such a vivid image you paint here -- almost like I've seen it somewhere before.

francis - this is great from start to finish! I hope you won't be offended, though, when I tell you that my very favorite part is your disclaimer. It's brilliant in its simplicity.

[francis]

Thank you, Lilly. No, I'm not offended, the disclaimer is always an integral part to my work. :curtesy:

Thank you cassy, and for your inspired Tangie story, too.

Phoenix, I don't know much about what that freshie is like, only what Beth told me.

wpgrace, you see how much I pay attention to what people post... especially if it makes me laugh.

catravers, so you're infected already? Poor girl!!!

redwinter, thank you so much.

[librarian_7]

Lovely, francis! I really enjoyed this one. I've always thought that being up all night, vamps would have lots and lots of time to read....

Lucky

[PNWgal]

francis, I just loved this.

I chuckled at the disclaimer, but I laughed out loud at the reason books were so expensive Down Under is because the vampires were hogging them all.

Thanks for sharing this!

[coco]

francis that was hysterical

I too am a fan of your disclaimer

[mitzie]

Absolutely priceless!!!!

mitzie

[MoonlitRose]

Francis,

I'm still ROTFLMAO!

Loved the story and the disclaimer!

[darkstarrising]

francis,

this is just too precious and funny....especially getting Em and Phoenix into the story!!! Priceless!! A perfect rejoinder to the April Fool's joke!!

[francis]

Thank you, dear readers. I'm tickled pink that you liked this little sillyness so much, it was just a random act of going with the flow.