Shopping For the Vampire Who Has Everything PG-13

[cassysj]

I do not own any recognizable characters no copyright infringement is intended.

Josef’s freshies piled into the stretch limo and headed downtown to the trendy vampire eating spot Fire Blossom.

“Tangie are you sure we’re not too late? Delancy asked. It’s going to be worse than Black Friday.”

“The doors don’t open until noon and I have an 11:30 pass to guarantee the Kostanistas first pick.

Aqua frowned. “Yeah, but if Tom Rodriguez sold Josef a pass for his freshies how many other vamps have bought their way in.

Tangie shook her head. ‘I didn’t get it from Tom. I got it from my sister Plum. She won’t let anyone in before we look around but…….we have to promote on the freshie boards where the Kostanistas shop.

The line was a hundred deep in female freshies and twenty deep in males when The Kostanistas stepped out of the limo. Tangie lead the way and the rest of her girls fell in like ducklings following their Mama.

“Back of the line Tangie!”

“Fruitcake, we were here first!

“You won’t get away with this Tangerine.”

Tangie walked past the front door, down the side and turned left, within seconds all the Kostanistas vanished inside.

There were cries of frustration, anger and rage when the owner Charles Riley came out.

“Ladies and Gentleman……relax. I know we said the doors open at noon but let them pay premium rates. I know some of you have been here since closing time last night. LaDonna, Christine, Winter, Sugar come here.

They reluctantly stepped off the line and Charles handed them a signed piece of paper that said 40% off everything.

Charles stood in the parking lot. “Who has been here since 6A?” When everyone raised their hand he said. “Don’t lie. I’m checking security cameras and if you lie you’re banned.

Half the freshies dropped their hands. Charles handed out 25% off notes to all the early birds. Finally he said.

“Who was on line when Tangerine Blossom arrived at 11:17A?

All but a few raised their hands and he gave them 10% off coupons.

Inside the restaurant Plum Blossom Riley was showing them around.

“Ladies, we have everything the discriminating vampire could want for Christmas. On the right are full bottles of blood ranging in price from $1,000 to $10,000 depending on rarity.

Half bottles are on the left and they go from $500 to $1,000.

Under $500 are in the back and they include some lovely samplers and of course blood laced alcohol which goes from $50-$250 depending on the brand.

Tangie turned to the girls. “Josef has capped our holiday spending on him at $1,000.”

They all gasped in horror.

“Tangie, that’s not fair.

“We’re using our own money how can it be capped?

Tangie laughed. “It can be capped because I have ten pre-paid credit cards and that is all we are allowed to use today. He is serious. He doesn’t like us and I quote “wasting our money on him.” Receipts must be included with gift, no exceptions. So we have a choice, one gift from all of us, two gifts, from five of us or everyone on their own. You have five minutes to look around.


The freshies were very disappointed at the idea of giving him one gift but they asked to be told about the high end section.

Plum said. “I have a full bottle from a recent Academy Award Winning Actress. I won’t drop names but let’s just say…..her word is LAW.

“How do we know it’s really from Jennif…..? I mean how do we know? Jade asked.

Plum pulled out her phone and showed them a pic of that actress at what looked like a blood drive with Charles and Plum in the background.

The girls were satisfied. “How much?

“It goes for 10K but…..I’ll knock off a thousand so the rest of you can walk out with shopping bags but you have to tell everyone where you got it.

They all agreed and Plum filled their bags with Scotch, Gin, Vodka and Whiskey.

The Kostanistas clocked out at 11:58.


12:15

Josef yells over the intercom. “Laura, hungry!”

“Go to lunch.

“Where is my lunch?”

“The girls are otherwise engaged.

“All of them?” Josef asked.

“Of course all of them. They have to go shopping as a unit since you made your stupid Secret Santa rules.

“Santa’s not a secret, Laura. Get me someone from the cafeteria.”

“What do you want? A, B, O, AB.

“Laura, just get me someone in ten minutes or I’m going to drain you.”

Laura sighed and Mick got off the elevator.

“Laura, is he free?

Laura dropped her fangs. “He’s cranky. He needs a nap and a bottle.

“I can hear you. Josef growled.

“That was my intention.

Mick walked into the office. “Am I interrupting something?”

“All my freshies are out buying Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus, Kwanzaa gifts for me. So this can be accomplished they have chosen to starve me. They are all going to bed without dinner tonight.”

Mick rolled his eyes. “Yes Ebenezer. We all know this is your excuse to put them on the naughty list.

“They will have to earn their way back on the nice list with massages, attention, adoration, XBOX and sports.

“Just a typical evening at Casa Kostan. Mick said. “I was going to ask if you wanted to go shopping with me. Fire Blossom is selling premium blood.

Josef shook his head. “I did all my shopping. The freshies will have that place cleaned out in an hour.

“Even A positive?’ Mick asked.

“I don’t think Charles is even selling that. If so, I’m sure you can get it.

“I’m buying you a gallon.”

Josef rolled his eyes. “I could use it right now. If my lunch doesn’t get here in two minutes I’m buying red elf outfits for all the girls to match their backsides.

Knock Knock

“Come in.

Tangie opened the door. “You must be starving. Frank said he had strict orders to take us back to the mansion. I don’t get him. It was almost like he wanted you to miss lunch.

Josef smiled. “That was very inconsiderate of him. I’ll have a chat with him later.

Tangie frowned. “Not too severe I hope.

Mick groaned. “I’m going to Fire Blossom. I’ll see you next Monday at Beth’s party.

Tangie was already on Josef’s lap and he was whispering. “You’re too damn efficient.”

Tangie giggled. “We can tell everyone I was too late. I know how to earn my way off the naughty list.

[francis]

They scheme and plot... it's like I'm watching an Episode of Dallas.

[allegrita]

Man, francis is right! There are schemes on top of plots on top of arrangements on top of negotiations! I love your Josef and freshie stories.