This is a parody, folks. I've found some people like it, some find it disturbing. It's just my sick sense of humor, inspired by Fleur De Lis, and a certain interview... WARNING: use caution when consuming liquid beverages. Author not responsible for keyboards or other computer equipment damaged.
Title: Eternity -- Isn't That A Cologne?
Author: Cat Moon
Rating: PG13 I guess, a bit of language
Genre: PARODY
Timeline/Spoiler: Fleur De Lis again
Disclaimer: ML characters don't belong to me, I have no money, I make no profit.
Summary: Poor Shakespeare
Eternity, isn’t that a cologne?
By Cat Moon
“To me the unrequited love aspect of this show and the ROMEO AND JULIET mirror that we provide is an essential part of the drama and the tension. In Mick’s mind there is no way he could ever cross that line despite the flesh being weak and despite the depth of feeling that he has for this woman. In his mind that would be the ultimate sin. Re-read ROMEO AND JULIET and see if you don’t cry when they kill themselves at the end. I’m not saying what we are dealing with is comparable to Shakespeare. “ [Laughs]
--Alex O’Loughlin, iF magazine interview. 11/20/07 (paraphrased)
***
Mickbeth sit together on the couch in his apartment. The lights are low and twilight is fading into Moonlight. They both hold identical glasses of amber liquid, about a quarter full.
“How long…” Beth inquires, looking at the glass nervously.
“It’s fast acting poison,” he assures her. “And it’ll be as painless as possible.”
“Good, good.” She nods. “Then we’ll never again have to worry about that bitch Morgaline stalking us through the decades. We’ll be free of her forever, and she won’t have the satisfaction of mindfucking us anymore.”
Mick nods, relieved. “And I won’t have to suffer through the unbearable agony of watching you die a shriveled up ninety year old prune that I haven’t had sex with in forty years anyway, or have to face the unspeakable sin of turning you into a monster like me.”
“No, my darling. This is the only way for us to truly be together and happy for eternity. No one will ever again be able to tear us apart again.”
“Not even us,” he responds. “Are you ready?”
She takes a deep breath and nods resolutely. “I love you, Mick St. John.”
“And I love you too, Beth Turner. Always.”
They raise their glasses and toast each other. “On three?” Mick asks.
“On three.” Beth answers.
“One. Two. Three!”
They both down the liquid in one quick gulp. Then they sit back to wait the short amount of time for the end to come.
Mick sits up abruptly, making an 'oops' expression. “Wait a second – I’m a vampire. This poison’s not gonna kill me.”
Beth stares at him incredulously, trying to take in air that is becoming harder to get as her lungs slowly stop working.
“My bad.”
Glaring at him murderously, Beth grabs a fist full of his shirt and hauls him down to her, nose to nose. “You better turn me RIGHT NOW, you bastard!” she growls.
“Well, so much for peaceful eternity,” Mick says, as he sinks his fangs into Beth’s neck.
The end.
11/24/07
