Authors note: As much as I love Mick and Beth, their lack of discussion on certain topics has frustrated the hell out of me. So I’ve decided to write it myself.
Spoiler: Takes place 3 days after Sonata
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. I do not own these characters (although try telling that to my subconscious mind between 12:00 and 6:00 am)
I want to say ‘thank you’ to all you wonderful writers whose stories I have frequented (you know who you are
). I don’t know how you guys do this on an ongoing basis but I am grateful that you do. And a special ‘thank you’ to Hydriotaphia, who encouraged me to try writing, who talked me through it and beta-ed for me so I wouldn’t make an ass of myself.Just Right
L.A. was in sore need of some rain. But instead of the spring showers they usually had this time of year they’d received the thunderstorm to beat all thunderstorms. The torrential rains pummeled the parched earth, delivering more water than it could absorb causing muddy runoffs and leaving the foliage in mangled ruin.
Beth flinched at the loud boom overhead. She hated thunderstorms. And to top it off, she had left her umbrella at home; not that it would be useful in this wind. Talbot had shared his with her on the walk to their cars and it suffered an inelegant demise, turned inside out with joints busted at odd angles; as a result she was now a wilted mess. Her white cotton skirt was plastered to her legs and her designer sale shoes were blowing bubbles at the seams.
But finally, the bright spot in her day was just coming up. Wet or not, she had no intention of being late tonight. She’d just ask Mick for some towels. Beth smiled. After all, this wouldn’t be the first time she’d need to dry off in his apartment. The wipers whispered in time to her pounding heart. After Mick’s stunning declaration of love three days ago, she’d made him promise – no more secrets. He’d finally agreed but begged for a little more time. By her estimation, three days was long enough. It was showtime.
Beth parked her car in the interior garage of Mick’s building and scurried to the elevator. She admitted to herself that her haste was only partly due to her love of answers; she missed him. Three silly days, but she missed him. A lot. After that wonderful kiss in her doorway they’d held each other for a little while and then talked about her fear of Turning. If or when it ever happened it was still a ways off and she would have the necessary information to make that decision when the time came. He promised. As for the other thing…
Beth approached the apartment door, each step closer increasing her anticipation. She ran a hand through slightly frizzed hair and plucked futilely at her skirt. Losing patience, she stomped her leg hoping to dislodge it.
“You’re supposed to knock on the door, not the floor”. Mick stood in the doorway eyeing her leg which was clearly visible through the nearly transparent skirt. His face was alight with humor. He was clearly in a good mood.
Beth walked passed him into the apartment. “Ha ha. Very funny.” She dropped her bag next to the couch on her way to the kitchen. “Do you have any towels?”
Mick joined her in the kitchen and pulled a couple towels from a drawer.
Beth accepted them gratefully, patting randomly at her skirt hoping to absorb most of the moisture. “Thanks.”
Mick watched her, the path of the towel as it moved from thigh to knee suddenly mesmerizing. He cleared his throat, trying to bring his mind around to the purpose of their date.
“So….um…..”
“Yes?” Beth looked up, figuring she had done as much as she could and focused her attention on Mick.
Mick gestured towards the couch. “Whanna get started?” It was going to be like yanking off a band aid; painful but best done fast. But if they made it through tonight they had a good chance of weathering whatever else came along. There would be no more secrets; Beth would know everything.
She headed to the living area and Mick fell into step behind her, affording him a perfect view of the damp skirt outlining the backs of her thighs. Mick inhaled softly: rain, frustration, excitement, Beth and… Mick stopped and inhaled again. And another man. Oh, he knew the unwelcome scent well, but it didn’t normally cling to Beth like a second skin.
Mick reached for her arm instinctively, causing Beth to face him with a questioning look. “What?”
He searched her face for a moment before asking, “You work a case with Talbot today?”
“Yeah. We walked through a murder scene. It’s most likely a self-defense ca… Why?” A self satisfied smile spread across her face. “You’re jealous! Not that I’m complaining, but, why?”
Mick let go of her arm and scowled down at her smug expression. “His smell is all over you. You must have been working pretty close. I’ll ask again, should I be jealous?”
“Yes. Like I said last time, if for no other reason than it lets me know you care. It’s not like you make it obvious. A girl needs some sign."
Hands on hips Mick shook his head, bewildered. “What are you talking about?”
Beth rubbed her hand over her face and then crossed her arms. This was not how she wanted their discussion to go. But so be it. “You told me you love me….”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it came as a real shock to me because you never gave me any sign that….that….” Beth paused, her face suffusing with color.
“What?”
“That you wanted me. So much. You’ve kissed me, but let’s face it, it’s not like you get carried away or anything. I thought that maybe…when you fell in love with me... but you said you already do and still…” There, she’d said it.
Although her face was still flaming she looked at Mick directly, her eyes clearly expressing what it cost her to admit that she didn’t think she turned him on.
Mick’s snort of laughter was the last response she anticipated and had Beth spinning around to hide the tears that came unbidden; a small storm that quickly overflowed her eyes and drenched her cheeks. Even she hadn’t realized just how much Mick’s apparent lack of ardor had hurt her.
The scent of Beth’s embarrassment was supplanted by the brackish smell of tears. Mick reached out to her, baffled.
“Beth?”
Sensing Mick’s approach Beth took a couple steps away trying to pull herself together; mortified by her lack of control and determined that Mick not see it.
“Beth.” Not giving her the chance to walk away, Mick grasped her arm and turned her around. The look of devastation on her face stunned him.
“Beth, no. No.” He pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back and laying his cheek on her head. He wanted to absorb her pain, leach it from her and make it his own.
Beth hid her face in Mick’s chest, willing the tears to stop but instead, she began to sob. Mick held her tighter as her body began to shake.
In clipped, chopped words between shudders, Beth poured out her misery. “You couldn’t stay away from Coraline. She was a…..a fever. You threw a chair through her w…window. You betrayed your best friend to have….to have Lilah. Even….”
Mick closed his eyes but couldn’t close his ears or shut out the anguish in Beth’s voice. Each sob, each shudder left a welt across his heart.
“Even what?” he whispered in her hair.
Beth grasped his shirt, holding on as if garnering the strength to expel the last of her grief. “Even Morgan. Even when you thought Coraline was Morgan”. Her voice broke on the last words, uttered in a whisper as if too shameful to be spoken aloud, “But not me.”
“Not you?” Mick grasped Beth’s face and turned it towards his, using his strength to negate her struggle to keep it hidden against his chest.
“Beth, I’ve never struggled so hard against anything in my life. In. My. Life. Than trying to keep away from you.”
The two stared at each other for several moments; the only sound the rain pelting the windows above and around them, the muffled boom of thunder far off in the distance.
“Why?”
Mick threw his head back with a sardonic laugh causing the moisture in his own eyes to fall down the sides of his face.
“Yeah, why. Because I was so damn afraid of hurting you. Because you’re my Beth, my Angel and I didn’t dare….” Mick stopped to clear his throat, his voice cracking with emotion. “I wouldn’t let any monster touch you. Not even me.”
Mick ran his thumbs under Beth’s eyes, wiping away the offending moisture.
“With Lilah and Coraline I was human, Beth. And young. If I could be human with you it would all be different. It’s the reason I wanted the cure so badly; so I could be free to be with you. To love you.”
“And Morgan?”
Mick gave an inward groan and took a deep breath. This one was touchier and he knew Beth was searching his face for any sign of a lie.
“I guess some part of me recognized Coraline and always knew it was her.” Mick braced himself for the question he knew she would ask next.
“Do you still love her?"
“Honestly, Beth, I don’t know how to answer that. She was my wife and she’s my sire. She’s had this….” Mick’s eyes darted, searching for the correct word, “hold over me for so long. The fever in the beginning. Then turning me. The guilt for killing her. And even for bringing you into my life.” Mick rubbed Beth’s arms as he felt her shiver. “Then she comes back as Morgan, playing her mind games. “
“What about that night? The night that I….You were both wet, she was in your shirt.”
“Nothing happened. I won’t lie and say nothing could have happened. I’m not trying to make excuses but I already wanted you. Being around you all the time and denying what I felt, it was torture. You were with Josh. I….I caved. Coraline has always had a way of getting under my skin. “
Beth bit her bottom lip and watched Mick’s expression intently before asking, “And if she comes back?”
Mick rubbed his knuckles along her cheek while he searched for an answer. Her blue eyes were large, scared. And suddenly Mick knew, he knew, without a doubt that his future, his happiness rested in those eyes. She had become the balm on his soul, his treaty against self loathing.
He shrugged. “Then she comes back. But it’s over between us. I’m not even interested in the cure. I meant it when I said no regrets about re-turning. You have a penchant for getting into trouble, the kind that no mortal guardian angel can handle.” Mick rushed to continue, sensing that Beth was going to argue his last statement.
“You once asked me why I go on living.”
Beth began to shake her head, the regret plainly written on her face, “Mick, I…”
“Shh.” Laying a finger over her lips he continued. “You had every right to ask me that. The answer is you. You have been my reason for living for the past 23 years, but never more so than for the last 10 months.”
It had not been easy for Mick to admit and voice his feelings but the hope and gratitude emanating from the woman in his arms more than made up for it. He could practically hear the wheels turning in her mind as she processed everything he’d told her. He prayed he hadn’t left any holes or gaffes because she was sure to hone in on them like a mosquito scenting blood.
Beth recited her findings in a slow, thoughtful manner. “So, you loved Lilah, but not enough to stick it out when Ray came back. You loved Coraline but she was an overload that shorted out the system.”
“You have such a way with words.”
Beth ignored him and continued. “And then there’s me.”
Mick laughed and Beth looked at him questioningly.
“I just thought of a child’s story that I liked. The Three Bears? One was too cold, one was too hot and the last was just right.”
“Are you comparing me to porridge?”
Mick raised an eyebrow and gave her his lopsided grin that never failed to send her stomach south. “Remember what happened to that third bowl?”
Beth raised her chin but didn’t trust herself to speak.
The smile grew.
Beth squealed as Mick pulled her against him and devoured her mouth.
