Another Birthday (Josef/Sarah) PG-13

[librarian_7]

Just a vignette, set some years in the future...a trifle for our birthday celebration.

Disclaimer: I don't own Josef. Or Sarah. Sure wish I did. They'd both be happier.

Another Birthday

Waverly Place, 2034

A nod, and the nurse on duty slipped away, leaving them alone. He appeared at irregular intervals, throughout the year, but this date was like clockwork. He never missed.

He’d given up, years ago, on bringing presents, although the flowers ordered for the day were always special. Exotic bouquets of orchids, bright birds of paradise, in place of the usual roses.

Josef looked down at her sleeping form and let himself feel the black, empty hole in his heart pulse and threaten to overcome him. He’d gone through a period when he’d spoken to her as though she could hear him. And a few years as well when he’d raged at her, screamed at her to wake up, dammit, just wake up!

She never moved, never responded. Not so much as a shiver of an eyelid, or a twitch of a finger.

With each year, her skin grew more waxen, her hair darker, its deep auburn untouched by sun. Josef had found her beautiful as a mortal, laughing and moving. Now, she had the ineffable, distant allure of a goddess carved from marble, and he sometimes found himself so drawn to her he left everything to fly to her bedside, staring down at her for hours, her unearthly stillness a mirror to his own.

She’d be one hundred years old today. With no knowledge of seventy-nine of them. In all this time, he’d seen to it that she had the finest care, that everything that could be done for her was done. A dozen times he’d thought the researchers were close to a breakthrough, that some cure, some miracle, would be found.

And nothing. Nothing changed.

Josef took her hand, her pale, perfect skin unmarred by time. He felt the black despair rolling in, threatening to pull him under again. He felt something shift inside him, almost physical, almost like an icepack breaking. It was a decision, he supposed, perhaps one long overdue.

When he spoke, his voice was close to cracking. “Sarah, sweetheart—I’m sorry. I can’t—I can’t do this anymore. You’ll always be cared for, I swear it, but I can’t go on like this. I’m sorry. I loved you—I love you—but I just can’t.”

He gave her cheek a last caress, his eyes burning, sight blurred. He didn’t see the tear sliding from the corner of her eye as he turned away.

As he walked to the door, he felt as though he were wading in wet cement. He moved slowly, lost in the feeling that he was cutting out the best part of himself.

And because he moved with such sorrowful deliberation, when the faintest rasp of a whisper, something that might have been imagined, and might—might—have been “Charles,” floated across the room he was still there to hear it.

He was back by the bedside, on his knees, yelling for the nurse, begging Sarah to speak again.

At the end of the long night, he had to admit that nothing seemed to have changed, that her coma continued unabated. But it was a gleam of light in the darkness, and the watching, the waiting, the hoping, would go on.

From day to day, month to month, birthday to birthday, he would go on. Unbroken.

[cassysj]

Oh my! I love reading anything related to Sarah. He'll never really be free because he doesn't want to be. She was the light of his life and he's not ready to go back to complete darkness.

I can't imagine Josef ever letting Sarah go. I can only see final death separating them.

[allegrita]

Soooooo sad, Lucky!
But so full of love, as well. I imagine poor Sarah inside a glass box, shouting to Josef in her mind, trying to make him hear. I feel such pity for both of them... but hope, as well. This is a hopeful story in the end. Maybe never to be realized, never to be fulfilled--but hope, nonetheless.

Thank you for this lovely, emotional birthday present!

[RangerCM]

What makes this ever more sad is that just when he'd reached a point where he might be able to heal and move on, he's pulled back in for what may very well be another 100 year vigil.

[moonlight_vixen]

Oh man, Lucky.... The desperation and the glimmer of hope just get to you!

[wpgrace]

Wow, Lucky... niiiiiice. I don't know whether to be sorry, or glad, for him.

[eris]

Poor J. He's living Pygmalion in reverse.

[LadyAilith]

Oh, my...how sad. Poor Josef. I hope at some point there is resolution to his vigil. One way or the other...

LadyAilith

[francis]

This is profound. I am so touched by what Josef goes through, the despair, the rage, the defeat. And then - a glimmer of hope that is both cruel and soothing. He was ready to let go, move on, grieve and mourn and then let go. Now he's back at square one, but he knows she's in there somehow, hearing him. It's more than he had before, and it's not any easier now. I feel both sad and hopeful. You always manage to evoke so much emotion even from a cursory reading, and when going into your story deeper it's always so nourishing. I want to savor every word you write, because it's just good.

[tucutecats]

Wonderful.wonderful, heartbreaking,you are the best L 7

[Phoenix]

He gave her cheek a last caress, his eyes burning, sight blurred. He didn’t see the tear sliding from the corner of her eye as he turned away.

[librarian_7]

Thanks for all the comments! I sometimes think that the hope is both a lifeline and a chain for him. I know some have written either about Sarah waking from her long sleep, or dying (or both!), and they're all interesting stories. But I think it's an integral part of Josef's present character, that she is this unchanging, untouchable presence in his life.

Lucky

* I know, I wrote one little story where she had died, but that's sort of an anomaly.

[Marigold]

This was a very sad story.

He didn’t see the tear sliding from the corner of her eye as he turned away.

While reading this, I imagined Sarah struggling against her body, fighting to show Josef that she is still in there, that she doesn't want him to leave her.

He may have missed the tear, but he heard the whisper. That "gleam of light in the darkness" was all he needed to change his mind. He will continue to watch, wait, and hope. One day, it may pay off.



Thank you, Lucky. This was beautiful.

[librarian_7]

Marigold, thank you for reminding me of this! It's been literally years since I looked at it...and I'd totally forgotten about it.

(I'm not sure what that says about me...but I've written so many fics, some of the little ones slip out of mind.)

I was pleased to read this one again!

Lucky

[jen]

Lucky

This was lovely!

We see Josef reach what he thinks is the end of his dreams of Sarah returning to him, and he tries to leave and we get a tantilizing glimpse as just how thin the separation between them may be as Sarah reaches through the gulf separating them and calls his name, or what his name was.

No, Josef doesn't really want to be free. Not if there is a chance of getting his Sarah back.

In his devotion to Sarah Whitley, we see a man far more like Mick than he would lead us to believe.

Wonderful short piece!

Thank you!

Jenna