A Better Man - PG-13 (Champagne Challenge #116)

[PNWgal]

A bit late to the party, but here's my answer to the Between the Fire and the Fountain challenge.

Enjoy!


Usual disclaimers apply. I own nothing by my own imagination.



A BETTER MAN




"Say that again." Silver eyes never leaving his friend's face, Josef pushed himself up from reclining on the burgundy sofa in the dark ballroom. When the tiny brunette cuddled at his side whimpered, he soothed her with a absent caress. She sighed and turned her face deeper into the prickly velvet, the neat, twin holes in her neck black in the red light.

"You heard me." Mick stiffened his spine and forced his gaze to remain steady on Josef as the elder vampire rose to his feet with the fluidity of a jungle cat. Josef wasn't only a friend, he was the closest thing to a sire Mick had now that he'd ki--now that Coraline was gone. "I'm done."

"Done with what, exactly?" Josef took a step forward and had to give the younger credit for not following his impulse to take a step back. "Done with being a vampire? In case you haven't noticed, Mick, killing Coraline didn't change that. Despite what Hollywood spoon-feeds the masses in those trite vampire movies, you don't turn back to human when your sire is killed. You are what you are."

"Josef, I--" Mick took an unnecessary breath to steady his nerves, choosing his words with care. "I want to be better. Better than what Coraline turned me into, better than," his hand swept the debauchery around him, "this."

Josef's glance took in the writhing and moaning bodies surrounding the two of them. "Better than me, you mean."

Mick recognized the dangerous tone of Josef's voice and did his best not to squirm under the tycoon's penetrating stare. Josef had killed for less. "No." His voice wavered on the denial; he cleared his throat. "No," he said, putting more force behind the one-word denial. "That's not what I meant."

Josef snagged a flute of champagne from a passing tray and took a sip. "Perhaps you'd like to enlighten me."

Mick struggled with a younger vampire's instinctive deference towards his elder, and ran a trembling hand through his hair. "I know what you've done for me, Josef."

"Nothing spectacular, apparently." The wine's bubbles bitter on his tongue, Josef set his glass on a nearby table. "Just took a miserable fledgling under my wing when I hardly needed to do so. Taught him to feed without killing. Sent work his way when he started his own business, and gave him a place to hide when his wife's not-so-tender loving care got to be too much, just to name a few." As Josef ticked off the things he'd done, Mick's shame rose higher and higher, strangling him until he thought he would choke. Josef had been a friend when Mick had none, had been a calm and cool counterpoint to the fire of Coraline's misguided obsession. Since he'd been Turned, Mick had done things he'd never dreamed himself capable, things that sickened the ghost of the man that flitted inside him and looked for something, anything of his former life to anchor itself. Josef had guided a lost fledling through the shipwreck of a lost life, had given that fledgling a bedrock to rebuild that life.

"Josef..." A subtle inhale revealed the hurt and sense of rejection underneath Josef's rage, shock and insult. Mick stopped, gathered his thoughts and tried again. How could he explain something to Josef he couldn't explain to himself? How could he make Josef understand how deeply one tiny blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl had affected him? "Josef, I used to think there was nothing left for me after I was Turned. Coraline took everything I had, everything I was. My future, the life I thought I would live with her was gone. I won't deny you showed me a better way, but there has to be more that using humans to satisfy my needs."

Thoughtful, Josef rubbed his chin. "Tell me, Mick..." he waved a negligent hand around the darkened room, "does anyone here look like they're being used? Does anyone seem to be here against their will?"

"Josef..."

"Answer the question." The command was quick and quiet, a hint of a snarl underlying the words. "When you feed here, do you have to force anyone to give up their blood?"

"No." Mick's answer was hushed.

"Do you enjoy my girls?"

Mick hesitated before answering. "Yes." The admission came hard, and Josef knew it. Mick had been raised with honor and integrity, a product of his generation, a man torn between the carnal hungers of the vampire and the strict Catholic upbringing of his youth. "I do enjoy them, and appreciate them - and I make sure they know it."

"Do you have to hunt anymore, like you did with Coraline?"

"No." Decades of regret and sorrow reverberated in the single word.

"Mick." Josef laid a hand on Mick's shoulder. "When was the last time you had to kill to feed?"

"Years. It's been years." Mick dropped his gaze and studied the pattern of the thick carpet under his feet. "I know what you've given me, Josef. You showed me another way, you taught me I didn't have to let the monster win. I'm not ungrateful for that." He raised his eyes. "You taught me to be a better vampire. I want to be a better man."

"How do you plan to feed? Vampires of your age still require fresh blood on occasion. What you're proposing is not only foolhardly, it's unhealthy." Although blood peddlers were common knowledge in the vampire Community, Josef had been firm in his insistence that Mick only feed fresh. Not only was it healthier for a vampire of Mick's age, it was important for Coraline's tortured fledgling to learn there were humans that were not only willing, but eager to give up a piece of their life so vampires could live.

Mick's face took a stubborn twist. "I met this guy at a crime scene a few weeks back - works at the morgue. Said he could supply me with all the A-positive I'd need, or hook me up with his cousin at the hospital blood bank."

Studying the determination in every line of Mick's body, Josef gave up. The young vampire was nothing if not stubborn, and if Mick had decided the glamorous life wasn't for him, nothing Josef could do would convince him otherwise. "Very well." He dropped his hand from Mick's shoulder and gave an elegant shrug. "If you insist on this course of action, I won't stop you. However, you will continue to feed fresh as well."

"I won't bite anyone again, Josef. I won't use humans that way anymore." Mick was adamant.

"For Christ's sake, don't be so damned literal. If you're going to drink bagged from a glass, you can do the same with fresh." Josef's patience was wearing thin. "Or does the human have to be dead first to maintain your balance on that moral high ground you're currently occupying? You're still under my jurisdiction, my friend, and I don't need you half-crazed from a bad diet. A healthy vampire is a happy vampire."

"Ok." Mick raised his hands, palms out, in surrender. If Josef was willing to compromise, so could he. "I'll drink whatever you want, but I won't take it from the source anymore."

"Alright," Josef agreed. As he continued to fix the younger with a gimlet stare, Mick finally gave in to his earlier urge to fidget, then frowned when Josef grinned.

"What?" The question snapped out sharper than Mick intended.

"Don't be petulant, Mick." Josef's smirk grew wider. "You still haven't answered my original question."

Mick's ring caught the light as his hands perched on his hips. "Which is?"

"Why you've decided to live like a monk."

Mick sighed and ran his hands through his hair, no closer to an explanation that he'd been when he first pulled into Josef's driveway. When he'd come to Josef six months ago, singed and scratched and beaten after his fight with Coraline, weary in mind and spirit after her subsequent death, the elder had called in a freshie to help heal his wounds. The girl that had answered the snap of Josef's fingers had been a blonde and petite, barely coming up to Mick's shoulder in four-inch heels, with eyes the color of sunny summer skies. She'd snuggled her hips into his lap and had laid her head on his shoulder as she held out her wrist.

She hadn't known Mick had just killed his wife, wouldn't have cared if she did know. Her trust that Mick wouldn't hurt her was absolute, the same trust shown to him by a small girl earlier that night. The shame of being unworthy of such trust had almost brought him to his knees.

The freshie had borne too much of a resemblance to the little girl he'd just delivered to an exhausted and thankful mother, and Mick hadn't been able to bring himself to pierce her skin with his fangs. The young woman who'd perched herself on his lap was more than a wrist or a throat, deserved more than to be bitten and fucked by one such as him. She'd been a little girl once, like the girl who had wrapped small arms around his neck and trusted him to keep her safe. She was someone's daughter, someone's sister - someone's future mother. Mick hadn't even known her name, couldn't recall it now months later.

The child named Beth had left her imprint on his soul, had taken his heart in her tiny hands and made him yearn to be the hero he saw reflected in her china-blue eyes. She'd done something Josef would never be able to do and wouldn't do, even if it had been in his power. She had found that spark of humanity inside Mick he'd thought he'd lost forever, and he'd spend the rest of her life thanking her by embracing that spark, by making himself into the man she thought him to be.

A good man.

A better man.

[NocturneInCMoll]

Fantastic, PNW--just how I imagine this scene could have gone. Josef's and Mick's reactions were so in character. And the fresh blood negotiations were highly amusing.

[Moonlightsonata]

I really liked this story. Of course, all your stories are held in very high regard. Maybe I will add more comments about this later - since I feel what I had said is inadequate - but I just wanted you to know this was a really special good night treat.

[PNWgal]

Thanks, Nocturn! I can see Josef being more than a bit perturbed that Mick would want to walk away from everything he'd given him.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, MoonlightSonata - thanks for reading!

[MickLifeCrisis]

I could see this in my head perfectly. Your words paint such a clear picture! I liked how Josef, as the elder vampire, tried to intimidate the youngster, and how Mick stood his ground until they reached a compromise.

Terrific one shot, Pgal!

[francis]

This is terrific, PNWgal! Mick's whole life took a turning point and he has a hard time explaining it to his friend, without hurting his feelings. I can so see that not only written but also filmed. This is our Mick as we know him, and our Josef too.

[wpgrace]

WOOOT!!!!!!!!

What a triumph!!
What a beautiful, and beautifully worded, explanation for Mick's changed feelings about feeding, about humans, about his ignominious past, about what Beth meant to him at that very early stage, and about himself.
And what marvelous interaction with Josef, who does not and will not understand, but who loves Mick enough to support him--including supplying fresh on occasion, which he still does when we meet them-- and who knows Mick enough to accept when Mick's mind and course is irrevocably set. They are gonna be working out a different relationship now, but they will remain just as close, which is Josef's greatest gift to Mick. Cos you're right; Josef COULD have taken great offense here, and been utterly crushed to lose his wingman, but his love for Mick wins out. And I get that... the vamp is certainly endearing...

I can see their gestures here, just as you describe them, and I can certainly hear the cadence and tenor of their voices as they speak these words. That marks the best of ML fic for me...

ETA: Your title, and even more so his statement about being a better vamp AND a better man, really is an amazing summation of Mick's entire period from the fire to the fountain. He'll start a new phase after the fountain, but you've summed up THIS phase to a T.

[Albra]

Real Mick and real Josef and their talk so in character ...
Thakn you, PNWgal

[crazy fluffy]

That was beautiful, PNWgal, and so in character of Josef and Mick.
Thank you!

[AussieJo]

You know, although I respect Mick's desire to be a better man and step away from Josef's 'playboy' lifestyle.
I was inclined to go with Josef's thinking on this one.
Drinking fresh could be compared to eating fresh food.
Drinking dead bagged blood could be compared to eating take out and or processed food.
I wonder how much his mental health was affected by not drinking fresh very often between that decision and the fountain........

[wpgrace]

You know, although I respect Mick's desire to be a better man and step away from Josef's 'playboy' lifestyle.
I was inclined to go with Josef's thinking on this one.
Drinking fresh could be compared to eating fresh food.
Drinking dead bagged blood could be compared to eating take out and or processed food.
I wonder how much his mental health was affected by not drinking fresh very often between that decision and the fountain........

This was all back in the 80s tho, honey... frozen, pre-fab, and fast food was in.

[jen]

PNWgal

This is wonderful.

This beautiful exposition of a key concept of Moonlight, Mick's resistance to feeding fresh and all entailed therein has been lovingly and carefully explained here, and the interaction of Mick and Josef in this little scene is superb!

The depth of the friendship is showcased both in Mick's willingness to share something that he knows will not go over well with Josef. He feels sufficiently comfortable telling Josef and his friend does not disappoint. Josef is hurt by what he perceives as a criticism and judgment from Mick--but he listens, gives Mick a chance to explain, and perhaps time to work through to a decision for himself. Then, he assists Mick in accomplishing his goals.

Nicely done!

Jenna

[darkstarrising]

Well, my friend, this is a beautiful piece

The dialogue is spot on, but it's the attention to detail that makes this stand out. The young freshie displaced by Josef confronting Mick - whimpering when she is displaced from her perch, soothed by an 'absent caress', much as one would pet a dog. Josef may not think his freshies are being used, but they are, albeit willingly.

You paint images with words that brings this scene to life - two vampires, the ancient and the young, one who has embraced his condition, one who rejects it, a father teaching his son. Yet despite all their differences, friends. The change in Mick is more than just swearing off feeding fresh, and this Josef notes.....the young one didn't flinch or back down when confronted by the elder. Mick is growing, but Josef knows that despite Mick's wishes, there is no going back; humanity is gone forever. So, back and forth they go, ultimately arriving at a compromise of sorts, with Josef's respect for his friend going up a notch or two.

You also paint the truth of the matter of just how much Josef has done for Mick and we feel Mick's acknowledgment and shame of appearing ungrateful. I used the term father and son here figuratively, of course, but that's what I could see and feel. Most sons view their fathers' lives with some disdain and want to live their own differently - they're idealistic. The fathers, on the other hand, have been there and done that and try to share their knowledge and experiences, hoping to spare their sons the mistakes they made.....but in the end, the sons have to learn themselves what they can live with; and that's what Mick is struggling to explain. Your description of his epiphany is telling, both about Mick and the freshie.

She hadn't known Mick had just killed his wife, wouldn't have cared if she did know. Her trust that Mick wouldn't hurt her was absolute, the same trust shown to him by a small girl earlier that night. The shame of being unworthy of such trust had almost brought him to his knees.

Even when they agree to disagree, the verbal posturing is so true to character, yet still very much father and son:

"If you insist on this course of action, I won't stop you. However, you will continue to feed fresh as well."

"I won't bite anyone again, Josef. I won't use humans that way anymore." Mick was adamant.

"For Christ's sake, don't be so damned literal. If you're going to drink bagged from a glass, you can do the same with fresh." Josef's patience was wearing thin. "Or does the human have to be dead first to maintain your balance on that moral high ground you're currently occupying? You're still under my jurisdiction, my friend, and I don't need you half-crazed from a bad diet. A healthy vampire is a happy vampire."

"Ok." Mick raised his hands, palms out, in surrender. If Josef was willing to compromise, so could he. "I'll drink whatever you want, but I won't take it from the source anymore."

It's the last passage that brings out the truth of the matter, one that Mick isn't quite ready to share with Josef:

The child named Beth had left her imprint on his soul, had taken his heart in her tiny hands and made him yearn to be the hero he saw reflected in her china-blue eyes. She'd done something Josef would never be able to do and wouldn't do, even if it had been in his power. She had found that spark of humanity inside Mick he'd thought he'd lost forever, and he'd spend the rest of her life thanking her by embracing that spark, by making himself into the man she thought him to be.

A good man.

A better man.

Brava, my friend

ETA - to correct some spelling and a sentence

[AussieJo]

You know, although I respect Mick's desire to be a better man and step away from Josef's 'playboy' lifestyle.
I was inclined to go with Josef's thinking on this one.
Drinking fresh could be compared to eating fresh food.
Drinking dead bagged blood could be compared to eating take out and or processed food.
I wonder how much his mental health was affected by not drinking fresh very often between that decision and the fountain........

This was all back in the 80s tho, honey... frozen, pre-fab, and fast food was in.

Hey grace, here I was trying to get all philosophical..........

[wpgrace]

You know, although I respect Mick's desire to be a better man and step away from Josef's 'playboy' lifestyle.
I was inclined to go with Josef's thinking on this one.
Drinking fresh could be compared to eating fresh food.
Drinking dead bagged blood could be compared to eating take out and or processed food.
I wonder how much his mental health was affected by not drinking fresh very often between that decision and the fountain........

This was all back in the 80s tho, honey... frozen, pre-fab, and fast food was in.

Hey grace, here I was trying to get all philosophical..........

I know... mea culpa... what a rat I am...
Forgive me??